Jest Jokes and Jingles

Father Said So

Tommy: “Do you go to bed very early, Mrs. Peck?”

Mrs. Peck: “Yes, Tommy, sometimes—when I feel tired.”

“You wouldn’t go so early if you were married to my father, would you?”

“Oh, Tommy, you funny boy! Why not?”

“’Cause my father told mother that if he were your husband he’d make you sit up and take notice.”

Cause for Joy

Old King Cole

Was a merry old soul,

Don’t doubt it for a minute,

He called for his pipe

And he called for his bowl,

And that bowl had “something” in it.

A Stag Party

(From the Highland Park Press.)

Mr. and Mrs. George D. Stagg, of San Bernardino, Calif., are the proud parents of a baby boy. Mr. Stagg is still in the military hospital.

Listen To ’Em Rave

A recent robbery disclosed the fact that large quantities of whiskey have been sent to insane asylums for “medicinal” purposes.

Men wishing to take the examination for insanity will please leave their names at the front office. The line forms to the right—don’t crowd.

“I’d like to get some soap,” she told the clerk.

“Would you care for toilet soap?” the salesman asked.

“No,” she replied. “I want it for my face.”

Adam was a wise guy,

So they say;

He shoved his rib against the fence

And Eve came to next day.

One of our Robbinsdale farmer boys who was active in the big blowout in France was explaining the mysteries of a barb wire entanglement to a sweet country miss. Using the pasture fence and county road ditch to simulate trench conditions, our farmer-doughboy “went over the top” at the zero hour, much to her delectation. She joined in the second attack, but our friend said the entire battle effect was spoiled when her skirt caught in the barbs, and she exclaimed in a very unmilitary manner: “Move over, kiddo, until I blow my nose.”