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Absurd Ditties

XXXIX. THAT OF THE HIGH-SOULED YOUTH.

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A year or so ago, you know,

I had a friend, at Pimlico,

For want of better name called Joe

(This name is not his right 'un).

He was a sweet, poetic youth,

Romantic, gallant, and in sooth

Might well be called, in very truth

An "Admirable Crichton."

And oh! it grieved him sore to see

The lack,—these times,—of chivalry.

He'd now and then confide to me

His views upon the matter.

"Good, never now is done by stealth!"

He'd say, "Men ruin mind, and health

In sordid scramble after wealth;

And talk,—is idle chatter."

Illustration from Absurd Ditties

"That simple virtue, Modesty,

Alas! it now appears to be

A valueless commodity,

Though once men prized it highly."

He went on thus,—like anything,

Until I heard, one day last Spring,

That he intended marrying

The daughter of old Riley.

I knew the Riley girls, and thought

"Now this has turned out as it ought.

Joe is a reg'lar right good sort

To marry 'Cinderella.'"

The younger one, (thus called by me)

A sweet good girl as e'er might be

Was poor; the elder—rich was she—

Her name was Arabella.

An Aunt had left her lots of gold,

While 'Cinderella'—so I'm told,—

She left entirely in the cold

Without a single shilling.

The elder one,—though plain to see,—

Of suitors had some two, or three;

Poor Cinderella, nobody

To marry her seemed willing.

Until the noble high-souled Joe—

That Errant-knight of Pimlico—

Came forth, the world at large to show

That he at least knew better.

In spirit I before him bowed,

"To know a man like that I'm proud

And happy!" I remarked aloud,

And sent to him this letter.

Illustration from Absurd Ditties

"ARABELLA."

"Dear Joe;—Wealth as you say's a trap

Gold is but dross,—not worth a rap—

How very like you—dear old chap!—

To marry 'Cinderella.'"

* * *

He wrote:—"I must expostulate,

I'm not a FOOL at any rate!

Of course I've chosen as a mate

The RICH one, Arabella!"

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