Volume 6 / Act 6 — THE SECOND ACT.[140] (continued 2)

FRAUD. What a swad is this? I had been better to have sent him to the back-door, To have gotten some alms amongst the rest of the poor. [Aside. Thou prat'st thou canst not tell what, or else art not well in thy wit: I am sure my arms are not blas'd so far abroad as yet.

SIMPLICITY. O yes, sir, your arms were known a great while ago, For your elder brother Deceit did give those arms too. Marry, the difference is all, which is the knot under the left ear. The painter says, when he is hung, you may put out the knot without fear. I am sure they were arms, for there was written in Roman letters round about the hempen collar: Given by the worthy valiant captain, Master Fraud, the ostler. Now, God be wi' ye, sir; I'll get me even close to the back-door. Farewell, Tom Beggar and Wily Will; I'll beg with you no more. [Exit.

TOM. O farewell, Simplicity: we are very loth to lose thy company.

FRAUD. Now he is gone, give ear to me. You seem to be sound men in every joint and limb, And can ye live in this sort to go up and down the country a-begging? O base minds! I trow I had rather hack it out by the highway-side, Than such misery and penury still to abide. Sirs, if you will be rul'd by me, and do what I shall say, I'll bring ye where we shall have a notable fine prey. It is so, sirs, that a merchant, one Mercatore, is coming from Turkey, And it is my lady's pleasure that he robbed should be: She hath sworn that we shall be all sharers alike, And upon that willed me some such companions as you be to seek.

TOM. O worthy Captain Fraud, you have won my noble heart: You shall see how manfully I can play my part. And here's Wily Will, as good a fellow as your heart can wish, To go a-fishing with a crank through a window, or to set limetwigs to catch a pan, pot or dish.

WILL. He says true; for I tell you, I am one that will not give back Not for a double shot out of a black Jack. O sir, you bring us a-bed, when ye talk of this gear. Come, shall we go, worthy Captain? I long, till we be there.

FRAUD. Ay, let us about it, to provide our weapons ready, And when the time serves, I myself will conduct ye.

TOM. O, valiantly spoken! Come, Wily Will, two pots of ale we'll bestow On our captain courageously for a parting blow.

[Exeunt.

Enter the Judge of Turkey with GERONTUS and MERCATORE.

[JUDGE.] Sir Gerontus, because you are the plaintiff, you first your mind shall say. Declare the cause you did arrest this merchant yesterday.

GERONTUS. Then, learned judge, attend. This Mercatore, whom you see in place, Did borrow two thousand ducats of me but for a five weeks' space: Then, sir, before the day came, by his flattery he obtained one thousand more, And promis'd me at two[221] months' end I should receive my store: But before the time expired, he was closely fled away, So that I never heard of him at least this two years' day, Till at the last I met with him, and my money did demand, Who sware to me at five days' end he would pay me out of hand. The five days came, and three days more, then one day he requested: I, perceiving that he flouted me, have got him thus arrested. And now he comes in Turkish weeds to defeat me of my money, But, I trow, he will not forsake his faith: I deem he hath more honesty.

JUDGE. Sir Gerontus, you know, if any man forsake his faith, king, country, and become a Mahomet, All debts are paid: 'tis the law of our realm, and you may not gainsay it.

GERONTUS. Most true, reverend judge, we may not; nor I will not against our laws grudge.

JUDGE. Signor Mercatore, is this true that Gerontus doth tell?

MERCATORE. My lord judge, de matter and de circumstance be true, me know well; But me will be a Turk, and for dat cause me came here.

JUDGE. Then, it is but folly to make many words.—Signor Mercatore, draw near: Lay your hand upon this book, and say after me.

MERCATORE. With a good will, my lord judge; me be all ready.

GERONTUS. Not for any devotion, but for Lucre's sake of my money.

JUDGE. [MERCATORE repeating after him.] Say: I, Mercatore, do utterly renounce before all the world my duty to my Prince, my honour to my parents, and my good-will to my country.— Furthermore, I protest and swear to be true to this country during life, and thereupon I forsake my Christian faith——

GERONTUS. Stay there, most puissant judge.—Signor Mercatore, consider what you do: Pay me the principal; as for the interest, I forgive it you. And yet the interest is allowed amongst you Christians, as well as in Turkey: Therefore, respect your faith, and do not seek[222] to deceive me.

MERCATORE. No point da interest, no point da principal.[223]

GERONTUS. Then pay me the one half, if you will not pay me all.

MERCATORE. No point da half, no point denier: me will be a Turk, I say. Me be weary of my Christ's religion, and for dat me come away.

GERONTUS. Well, seeing it is so, I would be loth to hear the people say, it was 'long of me Thou forsakest thy faith: wherefore I forgive thee frank and free; Protesting before the judge and all the world never to demand penny nor halfpenny.

MERCATORE. O sir Gerontus, me take a your proffer, and tank you most heartily.

JUDGE. But, Signor Mercatore, I trow, ye will be a Turk for all this.

MERCATORE. Signor, no: not for all da good in da world me forsake a my Christ.

JUDGE. Why, then, it is as sir Gerontus said; you did more for the greediness of the money Than for any zeal or goodwill you bear to Turkey.

MERCATORE. O sir, you make a great offence: You must not judge a my conscience.

JUDGE. One may judge and speak truth, as appears by this; Jews seek to excel in Christianity and Christians in Jewishness. [Exit.

MERCATORE. Vell, vell; but me tank you, Sir Gerontus, with all my very heart.

GERONTUS. Much good may it do you, sir; I repent it not for my part. But yet I would not have this bolden you to serve another so: Seek to pay, and keep day with me, so a good name on you will go. [Exit.

MERCATORE. You say vel, sir; it does me good dat me have cosen'd de Jew. Faith, I would my Lady Lucre de whole matter now knew: What is dat me will not do for her sweet sake? But now me will provide my journey toward England to take. Me be a Turk? no: it will make my Lady Lucre to smile, When she knows how me did da scal' Jew beguile. [Exit.

Enter LUCRE, and LOVE with a vizard, behind.

LUCRE. Mistress Love, I marvel not a little what coy conceit is crept into your head, That you seem so sad and sorrowful, since the time you first did wed. Tell me, sweet wench, what thou ailest, and if I can ease thy grief, I will be prest to pleasure thee in yielding of relief. Sure, thou makest me for to think something has chanc'd amiss. I pray thee, tell me what thou ailest, and what the matter is.

LOVE. My grief, alas! I shame to show, because my bad intent Hath brought on me a just reward and eke a strange event. Shall I be counted Love? nay, rather lascivious Lust, Because unto Dissimulation I did repose such trust. But now I moan too late, and blush my hap to tell. My head in monstrous sort, alas! doth more and more still swell.

LUCRE. Is your head then swollen, good Mistress Love? I pray you let me see. Of troth it is, behold a face that seems to smile on me: It is fair and well-favoured, with a countenance smooth and good; Wonder is the worst,[224] to see two faces in a hood. Come, let's go, we'll find some sports to spurn away such toys.

LOVE. Were it not for Lucre, sure, Love had lost all her joys. [Exeunt.

Enter SERVICEABLE DILIGENCE, the Constable, and SIMPLICITY, with an Officer to whip him, or two, if you can.

SIMPLICITY. Why, but must I be whipp'd, Master Constable, indeed? You may save your labour, for I have no need.

DILIGENCE. I must needs see thee punished; there is no remedy, Except thou wilt confess, and tell me, Where thy fellows are become, that did the robbery.

SIMPLICITY. Indeed, Master Constable, I do not know of their stealing, For I did not see them, since we went together a-begging. Therefore pray ye, sir, be miserable[225] to me, and let me go, For I labour to get my living with begging, you know.

DILIGENCE. Thou wast seen in their company a little before the deed was done; Therefore it is most likely thou knowest where they are become.

SIMPLICITY. Why, Master Constable, if a sheep go among wolves all day, Shall the sheep be blam'd if they steal anything away?

DILIGENCE. Ay, marry, shall he; for it is a great presumption That, keeping them company, he is of like profession— But despatch, sirs; strip him and whip him: Stand not to reason the question.

SIMPLICITY. Indeed, 'twas Fraud, so it was, it was not I; And here he comes himself: ask him, if I lie.

Enter FRAUD.

DILIGENCE. What sayest thou, villain? I would advise thee hold thy tongue: I know him to be a wealthy man and a burgess of the town.— Sir, and it please your mastership, here one slanders you with felony: He saith you were the chief doer of a robbery.

FRAUD. What says the rascal? But you know, It standeth not with my credit to brawl; But, good Master Constable, for his slanderous report Pay him double, and in a greater matter command me you shall. [Exit.

SIMPLICITY. Master Constable, must the countenance carry out the knave? Why, then, if one will face folks out, some fine repariment he must have.

[BEADLE put off his clothes.

BEADLE. Come, sir Jack-sauce, make quick despatch at once: You shall see how finely we will fetch the skin from your bones.

SIMPLICITY Nay, but tell me whether you be right-handed or no?

BEADLE. What is that to thee? why wouldst thou so fain know?

SIMPLICITY. Marry, if you should be both right-handed, the one would hinder the other: Then it would not[226] be done finely, according to order; For if I be not whipp'd with credit, it is not worth a pin. Therefore, I pray, Master Constable, let me be whipp'd upon my skin.

DILIGENCE. Whereon dost thou think they would whip thee, I pray thee declare, That thou puttest us in mind, and takest such great care?

SIMPLICITY. I was afraid you would have worn out my clothes with whipping; Then afterward, I should go naked a-begging.

BEADLE. Have no doubt of that; we will favour thy clothes: Thou shalt judge that thyself by fueling the blows.

[Lead him once or twice about, whipping him, and so exit.

Enter JUDGE NEMO, the CLERK of the 'size, the CRIER, and SERVICEABLE DILIGENCE: the JUDGE and CLERK being set, the CRIER shall sound three times.

JUDGE. Serviceable Diligence, bring hither such prisoners as are in custody.

DILIGENCE. My diligence shall be applied very willingly. Pleaseth it you, there are but three prisoners, so far as I know, Which are Lucre and Conscience, with a deformed creature much like Bifrons,[227] the base daughter of Juno.

JUDGE. No! where is that wretch Dissimulation?

DILIGENCE. He hath transformed himself after a strange fashion.

JUDGE. Fraud! where is he become?

DILIGENCE. He was seen in the streets, walking in a citizen's gown.

JUDGE. What is become of Usury!

DILIGENCE. He was seen at the Exchange very lately.

JUDGE. Tell me, when have you heard of Simony?

DILIGENCE. He was seen this day walking in Paul's, having conference and very great familiarity with some of the clergy.

JUDGE. Fetch Lucre and Conscience to the bar.

DILIGENCE. Behold, worthy judge, here ready they are.

Enter LUCRE and CONSCIENCE.

JUDGE. Stand forth. Diligence, divide them asunder.

CLERK. Lucre, thou art indicted by the name of Lucre, To have committed adultery with Mercatore the merchant and Creticus the lawyer. Thou art also indicted for the robbery of Mercatore: Lastly and chiefly, for the consenting to the murder of Hospitality. What sayest thou, art thou guilty or not in these causes?

LUCRE. Not guilty. Where are mine accusers? they may shame to show their faces: I warrant you, none comes, nor dare, to discredit my name. In despite of the teeth of them that dare, I speak in disdain.

JUDGE. Impudent! canst thou deny deeds so manifestly known?

LUCRE. In denial stands trial: I shame not; let them be shown. It grinds my gall they should slander me on this sort: They are some old-cankered currish corrupt carls, that gave me this report. My soul craves revenge on such my secret[228] foes, And revengement I will have, if body and soul I lose.

JUDGE. Thy hateful heart declares thy wicked life: In the abundance of thy abhomination all evils are rife,— But what sayest thou, Conscience, to thy accusation, That art accused to have been bawd unto Lucre, and spotted with all abhomination?

CONSCIENCE. What should I say; nay, what would I say in this our naughty living?

LUCRE. Good Conscience, if thou love me, say nothing. [Aside.

CLERK. Diligence, suffer her not to stand prating. [Let him put her aside.

JUDGE. What letter is that in thy bosom, Conscience? Diligence, reach it hither. [Make as though he[229] read it. Conscience, speak on; let me hear what thou canst say, For I know in singleness thou wilt a truth bewray.

CONSCIENCE. My good lord, I have no way to excuse myself: She hath corrupted me by flattery and her accursed pelf. What need further trial, sith I, Conscience, am a thousand witnesses? I cannot choose but condemn us all in living amiss. Such terror doth affright me, that living I wish to die: I am afraid there is no spark left for me of God's mercy.

JUDGE. Conscience, where hadst thou this letter?

CONSCIENCE. It was put into my bosom by Lucre, Willing me to keep secret our lascivious living. I cannot but condemn us all in this thing.

JUDGE. How now, malapert; stand you still in defence or no? This letter declares thy guilty Conscience: how sayest thou, is it not so? Tell me, why standest thou in a maze? speak quickly. Hadst thou thy tongue so liberal, and now stand to study?

LUCRE. O Conscience! thou hast kill'd me; by thee I am overthrown.

JUDGE. It is happy that by Conscience thy abhomination is known: Wherefore I pronounce judgment against thee on this wise: Thou shalt pass to the place of darkness, where thou shalt hear fearful cries; Weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth, and torment without end; Burning in the lake of fire and brimstone, because thou canst not amend. Wherefore, Diligence, convey her hence: throw her down to the lowest hell, Where the infernal sprites and damned ghosts do dwell; And bring forth Love! [Exit LUCRE and DILIGENCE.

Let LUCRE make ready for LOVE quickly, and come with DILIGENCE.

Declare the cause, Conscience, at large how thou comest so spotted, Whereby many by thee hath been greatly infected; For under the colour of Conscience thou deceived'st many, Causing them to defile the temple of God, which is man's body. A clean conscience is a sacrifice, God's own resting-place: Why wast thou then corrupted so, and spotted on thy face?

CONSCIENCE. When Hospitality had his throat cut by Usury, He oppressed me with cruelty and brought me to beggary, Turning me out of house and home; and in the end My gown to pay my rent to him I did send. So, driven to that extremity, I have fallen to that you see; Yet after judgment I hope of God's mercy.

JUDGE. O Conscience, shall cankered coin corrupt thy heart? Or shall want in this world cause thee to feel everlasting smart? O Conscience, what a small time thou hast on earth to live: Why dost thou not, then, to God all honour give? Considering the time is everlasting that thou shalt live in bliss, If by thy life thou rise from death to judgment, mercy, and forgiveness.

Enter LOVE with DILIGENCE.

Stand aside, Conscience. Bring Love to the bar. What sayest thou to thy deformity: who was the cause.

LOVE. Lady Lucre——

JUDGE. Did Lucre choke thee so, that thou gavest thyself over unto Lust? And did prodigal expenses cause thee in Dissimulation to trust? Thou wast pure (Love), and art thou become a monster, Bolstering thyself upon the lasciviousness of Lucre? Love, answer for thyself: speak in thy defence.

LOVE. I cannot choose but yield, confounded by Conscience.

JUDGE. Then judgment I pronounce on thee, because thou followed Lucre, Whereby thou hast sold thy soul, to feel like torment with her Which torments comprehended are in the worm of Conscience, Who raging still shall ne'er have end, a plague for thine offence. Care shall be thy comfort, and sorrow thy life sustain, Thou shalt be dying, yet never dead, but pining still in endless pain. Diligence, convey her to Lucre: let that be her reward. Because unto her cankered coin she gave her whole regard. But as for Conscience, carry her to prison, There to remain until the day of the general session. Thus we make an end— Knowing that the best of us all may amend: Which God grant to his goodwill and pleasure, That we be not corrupted with the unsatiate desire of vanishing earthly treasure; For covetousness is the cause of 'resting man's conscience: Therefore restrain thy lust, and thou shalt shun the offence.

FINIS.

THE THREE LORDS & THREE LADIES OF LONDON

_EDITION

The pleasant and Stately Morall of the three Lordes and three Ladies of London. With the great Joy and Pompe, Solemnized at their Mariages: Commically interlaced with much honest Mirth, for pleasure and recreation, among many Morall observations, and other important matters of due Regard. By R.W. London, Printed by R. Thones, at the Rose and Crowne neere Holburne Bridge_. 1590. 4to. Black letter. With an engraving on the title.

Enter, for the Preface, a Lady very richly attired, representing London, having two Angels before her, and two after her, with bright rapiers in their hands.

LONDON speaketh.

Lo, gentles, thus the Lord doth London guard, Not for my sake, but for his own delight; For all in vain the sentinels watch and ward, Except he keep the city day and night. Now may my foes in vain both spurn and spite, My foes, I mean, that London represent, Guarded from heaven by angels excellent.

This blessing is not my sole benefit: All England is, and so preserv'd hath been, Not by man's strength, his policy and wit. But by a power and Providence unseen; Even for the love wherewith God loves our Queen, In whom, for whom, by whom we do possess More grace, more good, than London can express.

And that hath bred our plenty and our peace, And they do breed the sports you come to see; And joy it is that I enjoy increase. My former fruits were lovely Ladies three;[230] Now of three Lords to talk is London's glee: Whose deeds I wish may to your liking frame, For London bids you welcome to the same.

FINIS.

THE ACTORS' NAMES.

POLICY, | POMP, | The three Lords of London. PLEASURE, |

WIT, | WEALTH, | Their Pages. WILL, |

NEMO, a grave old man.

LOVE, | LUCRE, | Three Ladies of London. CONSCIENCE, |

HONEST INDUSTRY, | PURE ZEAL, | Three Sages. SINCERITY, |

PRIDE, | AMBITION, | Three Lords of Spain. TYRANNY, |

SHAME, | TREACHERY, | Their Pages. TERROR, |

DESIRE, | DELIGHT, | Three Lords of Lincoln. DEVOTION, |

SORROW, a Jailor. SIMPLICITY, a poor Freeman of London. PAINFUL PENURY, his Wife. DILIGENCE, a Post or an Officer.

FEALTY, | Two Heralds-at-Arms. SHEALTY, |

FRAUD, | USURY, | Four Gallants. DISSIMULATION, | SIMONY, |

FALSEHOOD, | Two that belong to FRAUD and DISSIMULATION. DOUBLE-DEALING. |