Act 3 — ACT III

The Hall of Justice. It is nearly dawn. The last of the Princes is getting in through the window. They are wearing their masks.

Ogre: (Outside door to left.) Open now the door for myself.

1st Prince: No, we will get rid of him now. Let the Grugach stay outside.

2nd Prince: That will be best. He cannot break the bars of this door, or get round over the high wall to the door on the other side.

3rd Prince: I am sore with the blows he put on us, driving us before him through the wood.

4th Prince: Let us call to the Guardian, and let him deal with him. He can bring his foot soldiers and his guns.

5th Prince: A villain that Ogre is and a thief, wanting to steal away the golden-handled sword. But we would not tell him where it was, and he never will find it under the step of the Judge's chair. (Lifts top of step, takes out sword and puts it back again.)

Ogre: (Outside.) Are ye going to open the door?

1st Prince: It is a great thing to have that strong door between us.

2nd Prince: Take care would he break it in.

3rd Prince: No fear. It would make too much noise. It would bring every person in the house running.

4th Prince: Let us go quick and call the Guardian.

5th Prince: What will he say seeing us in these clothes? He will be vexed with us.

1st Prince: It was folly of us running away. But he will forgive us, knowing it will teach us better sense.

2nd Prince: Come to him then, I don't mind what he will do to us so long as we are safe from the terrible Grugach of an Ogre. (All go to right door, it opens and Ogre bursts in.)

Ogre: Ye thought to deceive me, did ye? Ye thought to bar me out and to keep me out? And I after minding you and caring you these seven years!

3rd Prince: What way did you get in?

Ogre: It's easy for me to get in any place. If I had a mind I could turn into a house fly and come through the lockhole of the door. It's much if I don't change the whole lot of ye into small birds, and myself to a hawk going through you! Or, into frightened mice, and I myself into a starving cat! It's much if I don't skin you with this whip, and grind your bones as fine as rape seed!

4th Prince: I will call for help! (Tries to shout.)

Ogre: (Putting hand over his mouth and lifting whip.) Shout now and welcome, and it is bare bones will be left of you! If it wasn't that I need you to search out the golden-handled sword for me I'd throttle the whole of ye as easy as I'd squeeze an egg! Come on now! Show me where the treasure is hid.

5th Prince: How would we know?

Ogre: Didn't I send ye spying it out, and if it fails ye to make it out, I'll boil and bake you!

1st Prince: (Looking about and pointing to end of room.) It might be there.

Ogre: What way would it be on the bare floor? Search it out.

2nd Prince: (Looking under a bench.) It might be here.

Ogre: It is not there.

3rd Prince: (Looking up chimney?) This would be a good hiding-place.

Ogre: (Looks up.) There is nothing in it, only an old nest of a jackdaw,—a bundle of bare twigs. Trying to deceive me you are and to lead me astray.

4th Prince: It might be on the shelf.

Ogre: Stop your chat unless you have something worth saying.

5th Prince: (Sitting down on step under which sword is hidden.) Are you certain there is any treasure at all?

Ogre: You are humbugging and making a fool of me! (Lashes whip and seizes him.) Get up now out of that! (Drags him up and taps board.) There is a hollow sort of a sound.... That is a sort of place where a treasure might be hid. (Drags up board.) I see something shining. (Pulls out sword.) Oh, it is a lovely sword! And the handle of pure gold. The best I ever seen!

1st Prince: (To the others.) I'll make a run now and call out and awaken all in the house! (Is going towards door.)

Ogre: (Seizing him.) You'd make your escape would you?

1st Prince: (Calling out.) Ring the big bell, ring the bell! I forgot it till now.

(They pull a bell-rope and bell is beard clanging.)

Ogre: (Rushing at them as they ring it.) I'll stop that!

(Voices are heard, at door to right. Ogre rushes to other door.)

2nd Prince: I'll get the sword from him. (Snatches it away as Ogre is rushing at him. Servant and Guardian come in.)

Guardian: What is going on! (Blows a whistle.) Here, soldiers of the guard!

(Feet are heard marching and bugle blowing at left door. Ogre rapidly slips off his mask, and appears as a harmless old man.)

Guardian: Thieves! Robbers! Burglars! Here, soldiers, surround the place; who are these ruffians? Murder! Robbery! Fire!

(Two soldiers come in.)

Servant: They are the very same youngsters were at our door this morning, doing their play; those Wrenboys!

Guardian: They are thieves. There is one of them bringing away my gold-handled sword. (He and Servant seize sword.)

Ogre: (Coming forward and bowing low.) It is time for you to come, your honour my lordship! I am proud to see you coming! It was I myself that rang the bell and that called and awakened you, where I would not like to see the place robbed and left bare by these scum of the world!

All the Princes: Oh! Oh! Oh!

Guardian: What have you to do with it? Where do you come from?

Ogre: An honest poor man I am....

Servant: You have a queer wild sort of a dress.

Ogre: Making a living I do be, dressing up as a hobgoblin and a bogey man to get an odd copper from a mother here and there, would be wishful to frighten a stubborn child from bawling or from tricks. Passing the door I was, and hearing a noise I looked in, and these young villains were after rising a board and taking out that sword you seen in their hands. It is then that I made a clamour with the bell.

(Princes laugh.)

Guardian: Who are they at all?

Ogre: It is I myself say it; they are the terror of the whole district.

1st Prince: You may save your breath and stop that talk. This gentleman knows us well. He knows us and will recognise us.

Guardian: I do recognise you. I saw you but yesterday.

2nd Prince: There now, what do you say?

Guardian: You are those vagabond Wrenboys that came tricking and begging to my gate.

Princes: Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ogre: That's it! Spying round they were! Thinking to do a robbery! Robbery they're after doing!

3rd Prince: We were doing no such thing!

Guardian: You were! I stopped you making off with my sword of Justice.

Ogre: If it wasn't for me hindering them they would have it swept.

Guardian: That was very honest of you.

4th Prince: (Rushing at Ogre.) It is you that are a rogue and a thief!

Other Princes: Throw him down while we have the chance. (They surround him.)

Guardian: Silence! Don't make that disturbance! I felt a suspicion yesterday the first time I saw your faces there was villainy hidden beneath the dust that was on your cheeks.

4th Prince: Listen to us, listen!

Guardian: And whatever I thought then, you are seventeen times more wicked looking now! And the very scum of the roads!

5th Prince: Oh, have you forgotten your nurslings!

Guardian: It is well you reminded me of them. (To Servant.) Go now and bring the young Princes here till they will see justice done! They are maybe gone a bit wild and foolish since yesterday, put out by those Dowager Messengers. But whatever they were at their worst, they are King George compared with these!

1st Prince: You must listen!

Guardian: Must! What is that language! That is a word was never said to me since I was made the Queen's Chamberlain. Here! Put a gag upon their mouths! (Soldiers do so, tying a handkerchief on mouth of each.) Tie their hands behind them with ropes. (This is done.) Rapscallions! Do they think to terrify and command me! I that am not only Governor of the Island but am Supreme Judge whenever I come into this Court.

Ogre: That is very good and very right! Keep the gag in their mouth! You wouldn't like to be listening to the things they were saying a while ago! They were giving out great impudence and very disrespectful talk!

Guardian: Give me here my Judge's wig and my gown! (Puts them on.) Where now are the young Princes?

Servant: They are coming now.

Guardian: It will be a great help in their education seeing justice done by me, as straight as was ever done by Aristides. Give me here that book of punishments and rewards. I'll see what is bad enough for these lads! (He consults book.)

Servant: Here now are the Princes.

(Wrenboys come in wearing Princes' clothes)

1st Wrenboy: (To another) Do you see who it is that is in it?

2nd Wrenboy: It is the young Princes in our clothes!

3rd Wrenboy: What in the world wide brought them here? Believe me it was through some villainy of the Grugach.

4th Wrenboy: What at all has happened?

5th Wrenboy: Go ask them what it was brought them, or what they came doing.

1st Wrenboy: (To Princes) What is it brought you here so soon?

(Princes shake their heads)

2nd Wrenboy: (Coming back) There is a gag on their mouths!

3rd Wrenboy: (Going and looking) Their hands are tied with a rope.

4th Wrenboy: They had not the wit to stand against the Grugach; it is not long till they were brought to trouble.

5th Wrenboy: It was seventeen times worse for them to be under him than for ourselves that was used to him, and to his cruelty and his ways.

1st Wrenboy: It was bad enough for ourselves. We were not built for roguery.

(The Dowager Messengers rushing in.)

Dowager Messengers: (Together.) What is going on? What has happened?

Guardian: What you see before you has happened. Those young thieves came to try and to rob the house. They were found by myself in the very act of bringing away my golden-handled sword! They were stopped by this honest man. (Points to Ogre.)

1st Dowager Messenger: There would seem to be a great deal of wickedness around this place!

Guardian: I'll put a stop to it! I'll use my rights as Judge! To have that sort of villainy running through the Island, it would come through walls of glass or of marble, and lead away the best.

2nd Dowager Messenger: There must be something gone wrong in the stars, our own young princes having gone wild out of measure, and these young vagabonds doing no less than house-breaking! It is hard to live!

Ogre: Indeed, ma'am, it would be a great blessing to the world if all the boys in it could be born grown up.

Guardian: (Sighing.) I, myself, am beginning to have that same opinion.

1st Dowager Messenger: And so am I myself. Young men have strength and beauty, and old men have knowledge and wisdom, but as to boys! After what we saw a while ago in the supper room!

Servant: The Court is about to sit! Take your places!

(Wrenboys make for the dock and Princes the jury-box.)

Guardian: What do you mean, prisoners, going up there, that is the place for honourable men! For a jury! It is here in the criminals' dock your place is.

Servant: (To Wrenboys.) Oh, that is the wrong place you're in. That is for the wicked and the poor that are brought to be tried and condemned.

1st Wrenboy: It is a place the like of that I was put one time I was charged before a magistrate for snaring rabbits.

Servant: Silence in the Court. The Judge is about to speak.

Guardian: (Reading out of book.) It's laid down in a clause of the Cretian laws, That were put through a filter by Solon, That for theft the first time, though a capital crime A criminal may keep his poll on. Though (consults another book) some jurists believe That a wretch who can thieve, Has earned a full stop, not a colon.

Ogre: That was said by a better than Solon.

Guardian:

And the book says in sum, to cut off the left thumb, May be penalty enough for a warning; Though (looks at another book) the Commentors say That one let off that way Will be thieving again before morning.

Ogre: So he will, and the jury suborning.

Guardian: For the second offence, as the crime's more immense, Take the thumb off the right hand instead; And the third time he'll steal, without any appeal, The hangman's to whip off his head.

Ogre: Very right to do so, for a thief as we know, Isn't likely to steal when he's dead.

2nd Dowager Messenger: You won't order the worst, as this crime is the first, It's a pity if they have to swing.

Guardian:

In the Commentors' sense, a primal offence Is as much an impossible thing As a stream without source, a blow struck without force, Or leaves without roots in the spring.

Ogre: Or a catapult wanting a sling.

Guardian: But although this case is proved on its face To be what is called a priori I cannot refuse to consider the views Of the amiable lady before me. (Bows to 2nd Dowager Messenger.) In compliance to her I am ready to err On the side that she leans to, of mercy, For she has a kind tongue, and the prisoners are young; But that they may not live to curse me, I give out my decree, the left thumb shall be Kept in Court till the next time they'll come. And now if you please let whoever agrees With my pledge turn down his own thumb.

1st Dowager Messenger: It is very just and right. (Turns down hers.)

Ogre: You're letting them off too easy. They're a bad example to the world. But to take the thumb off them is better than nothing! (Turns down both his thumbs.)

Guardian: (To Wrenboys.) Well, my dear pupils, I don't see you turn down your thumbs.

1st Wrenboy: We cannot do it. (They cover their faces with their hands.)

Ogre: Get on so. I never saw the work I'd sooner do than checking youngsters!

Guardian: Where is the Executioner?

Servant: I sent seeking him a while ago, thinking he might be needed.

Guardian: Bring him in.

Servant: He is not in it. There was so little business for him this long time under your own peaceable rule, that he is after leaving us, and taking a job in a slaughter house out in foreign.

2nd Dowager Messenger: Maybe that is a token we should let them off.

Ogre: (Briskly.) I am willing to be useful; give me here a knife or a hatchet!

Servant: (To Ogre.) You need not be pushing yourself forward. (To Guardian.) There is a stranger of an Executioner chanced to be passing the road, just as I sent out, and he looking for work. He said he would do the job for a four-penny bit and his dinner, that he is sitting down to now.

Guardian: (Sitting up straight and taking up sword.)

Bring him in quick. It often seems a curious thing that I,

Who in my ordinary clothes would hardly hurt a fly,

Hold to the rigour of the law when I put on gown and wig,

As if for mere humanity I didn't care a fig.

For once I'm seated on the bench I do not shrink or flinch

From the reddest laws of Draco, or the practice of Judge Lynch.

Servant: (At door.) Here he is now.

(Jester comes in, disguised as Executioner, a long cloak with hood over his head.)

Guardian: Here is the sword (hands it to him and reads), "In case of the first act of theft the left thumb is to be struck off." There are the criminals before you. That is what you have to do.

Jester: (Taking the sword.) Stretch out your hands! There is hurry on me. I was sitting at the dinner I engaged for. I was called away from the first mouthful, and I would wish to go back to the second mouthful that is getting cold.

Guardian: (Relenting.) Maybe now the fright would be enough to keep them from crimes from this out. They are but young.

Jester: (To Princes.) Don't be keeping me waiting! Put out now your hands. (They shake their heads.)

Servant: They cannot do that, being bound.

Jester: If you will not stretch out your hands when I ask you, I will strike off your heads without asking! (Flourishes sword.)

Guardian: (Standing up.) I did not empower you to go so far as that! It is without my authority!

Jester: You have given over the power of the law to the power of the sword. It must take its way!

Guardian: I will not give in to that! I have all authority here!

Jester: If you grow wicked with the Judge's wig on your head, so do I with this sword in my hand! You called me in to do a certain business and I am going to do it! I am not going to get a bad name put on me for breach of contract! If a labourer is given piece work cutting thistles with a hook he is given leave to do it, or a rat catcher doing away with vermin in the same way! He is not bid after his trouble to let them go loose out of his bag! And why would an Executioner that is higher again in the profession be checked. Isn't my pride in my work the same as theirs? And along with that, let me tell you I belong to a Trades Union!

(Guardian moans and covers his face.)

(To the Princes.) Kneel down now! Where you kept me so long waiting and that the Judge attempted to interfere with me, I have my mind made up to make an end of you! (Holds up sword.)

1st Wrenboy: (Rushing forward and putting his arms about Prince.) You must not touch him! These lads never did any harm!

2nd Wrenboy: (Protecting a Prince.) It is we ourselves are to be punished if anyone must be punished.

3d Wrenboy: They are innocent whoever is to blame.

Jester: Take their place so! Someone must be put an end to.

(All the Wrenboys kneel.)

1st Wrenboy: Here we are so. We changed places with them for our own pleasure, thinking to lead a prince's life, and if there is anyone must suffer by reason of that change let it be ourselves.

Jester: I'll take off their gags so and let them free.

(He cuts cord of gags and hands, then throws some dust over all boys as before, saying):

Dust of Mullein leave the eyes

You made fail to recognise

Princes in their poor disguise;

Princes all, had men clear eyes!

(The Princes throw off their masks.)

1st Prince: It is all a mistake! Oh, Guardian, don't you know now that we are your murslings and your wards! Look at the royal mark upon our arm, that we brought with us into the world. (They turn up sleeves and show their arms.)

2nd Dowager Messenger: I am satisfied without looking at the royal sign. I have been looking at their finger nails. Those other nails (pointing to Wrenboys) have never been touched with a soapy brush.

2nd Prince: It is strange you did not recognise us. It was that Jester yesterday when we changed our coats that threw a dust of disguise between you and us.

1st Dowager Messenger: Was it that these lads robbed you of your clothes?

3d. Prince: Not at all.

4th Prince: We ourselves that were discontented and wishful to change places with them.

Guardian: A very foolish thing, and that I have never read of in any of my histories.

5th Prince: We were the first to wish the change. It is we should be blamed.

5th Wrenboy: No, but put the blame on us! The Wrenboys you seen yesterday.

Guardian: Ah, be quiet, how do I know who you are, or if ever I saw you before! My poor head is going round and round.

1st Wrenboy: Now do you know us! (All recite "The Wren, the Wren, the King of All Birds." Give first verse.)

Guardian: (Stopping his ears.) Oh, stop it! That makes my poor head worse again.

2nd Wrenboy: (Pulling up sleeve.) If you had chanced to see our right arm you would recognise us. We were not without bringing a mark into the world with us, if it is not royal itself.

(Wrenboys strip their arms.)

1st Dowager Messenger: What is he talking about? (Seizes arm and looks at it.)

2nd Dowager Messenger: It is the same mark as is on the princes, the sign and token of a King!

1st Dowager Messenger: It is certain these must be their five little royal cousins, that were stolen away from the coast.

1st Wrenboy: If we were brought away it was by that Grugach that has kept us in his service through the years.

2nd Dowager Messenger: It is no wonder they took to one another. It was easy to know by the way they behaved they had in them royal blood.

(The Boys turn to each other, the Ogre is slipping out.)

Jester: (Throwing off his cloak and showing his green ragged clothes.) Stop where you are!

Ogre: Do your best! You cannot hinder me! I have spells could change the whole of ye to a cairn of grey stones! (Makes signs with his hands.)

Jester: (In a terrible voice.) Are you thinking to try your spells against mine?

Ogre: (Trembling and falling on his knees.) Oh, spare me! Hold your hand! Do not use against me your spells of life and death! I know you now! I know you well through your ragged dress! What are my spells beside yours? You the great Master of all magic and all enchantments, Manannan, Son of the Sea!

Jester: Yes, I am Manannan, that men are apt to call a Jester and a Fool, and a Disturber, and a Mischief-maker, upsetting the order of the world and making confusion in its order and its ways. (Recites or sings.)

For when I see a master

Hold back his hireling's fee

I shake my pepper castor

Into his sweetened tea!

And when I see a plan make

The Birds that watch us frown,

I come and toss the pancake

And turn it upside down!

In this I follow after

Lycurgus who was wise;

To the little god of laughter

I make my sacrifice!

And now here is my word of command! Everyone into his right place!

Ogre: Spare me! Let me go this time!

Jester: Go out now! I will not bring a blemish on this sword by striking off your ugly head. But as you have been through seven years an enemy to these young boys, keeping them in ignorance and dirt, they that are sons of a king, I cross and command you to go groping through holes and dirt and darkness through three times seven years in the shape of a rat, with every boy, high or low, gentle or simple, your pursuer and your enemy. And along with that I would recommend you to keep out of the way of your own enchanted cats!

(Ogre gives a squeal and creeps away on all fours.)

Guardian: I think I will give up business and go back to my old trade of Chamberlain and of shutting out draughts from the Court. The weight of years is coming on me, and it is time for me to set my mind to some quiet path.

1st Dowager Messenger: Come home with us so, and help us to attend to our cats, that they will be able to destroy the rats of the world.

2nd Dowager Messenger: (To Princes.) It is best for you come to your Godmother's Court, as your Guardian is showing the way.

1st Prince: We may come and give news of our doings at the end of a year and a day.

But now we will go with our comrades to learn their work and their play.

2nd Prince: For lying on silken cushions, or stretched on a feathery bed.

We would long again for the path by the lake, and the wild swans overhead.

3d Prince: Till we'll harden our bodies with wrestling and get courage to stand in a fight.

4th Prince: And not to be blind in the woods or in dread of the darkness of night.

1st Wrenboy: And we who are ignorant blockheads, and never were reared to know The art of the languaged poets, it's along with you we will go.

5th Prince: Come show us the wisdom of woods, and the way to outrun the wild deer, Till we'll harden our minds with courage, and be masters of hardship and fear.

2nd Wrenboy: But you are candles of knowledge, and we'll give you no ease or peace, Till you'll learn us manners and music, and news of the Wars of Greece.

1st Prince: Come on, we will help one another, and going together we'll find, Joy with those great companions, Earth, Water, Fire, and Wind. (They join hands.)

Jester: It's likely you'll do great actions, for there is an ancient word, That comradeship is better than the parting of the sword, And that if ever two natures should join and grow into one, They will do more together than the world has ever done. So now I've ended my business, and I'll go, for my road is long, But be sure the Jester will find you out, if ever things go wrong!

(He goes off singing.)

And so I follow after

Lycurgus who was wise;

To the little god of laughter

I pay my sacrifice!

CURTAIN