Act 1 — Scene III. The Apartment of Antonio.

Lor. Nay, nay, Isabella, there’s no avoiding me now, You and I must come to a parley. Pray what’s the reason You took no notice of me, When I came with so civil an address too? Isab. Can you ever think to thrive in an Amour, When you take notice of your Mistress, Or any that belongs to her, in publick, And when she’s a married Woman too? Lor. Good Isabella, the loser may have leave to speak, I am sure it has been a plaguy dear Amour to me. Isab. Let me hear you name that again, And you shall miss of my Assistance. Lor. Nay, do but hear me a little; I vow ’tis the strangest thing in the World, A Man must part from so much Money as I have done, And be confin’d to Signs and Grimaces only, To declare his Mind in: If a Man has a Tongue, let him exercise it, I say, As long as he pays for speaking. Isab. Again with your paying for’t? I see you are not To be reclaim’d; farewel— Lor. Stay, good Isabella, stay, And thou shalt hear not one word of that more, Though I am soundly urg’d to’t. Isab. Yes, yes, pray count them, do; I know you long to be at it, And I am sure you will find you are in Arrears to us. Lor. Say you so, I am not of that opinion: but well, —Let me see—here ’tis, here ’tis— My Bill of Charge for courting Clarina. Draws out his Table Book, and reads. Isab. And here’s mine for the returns that have been Made you; begin, begin. Pulls out her Book. Lor. Item, two hundred Crowns to Isabella for undertaking. Isab. Item, I have promis’d Lorenzo to serve him In his Amour with all Fidelity. Lor. Well, I own that Debt paid, if you keep Your word—out with it then— He crosses that out. Item, two thousand Crowns in a Bracelet for Clarina; What say you to that now, Isabella? Isab. Item, the day after they were presented, She saluted you with a smile at the Chappel. Lor. And dost thou think it was not dearly bought? Isab. No Man in Florence should have had it A Souce cheaper. Lor. Say you so, Isabella? out with it then. Crosses it out. Item, one hundred more to thee for presenting them. Isab. Which I did with six lyes in your Commendation, Worth ten Pistoles a piece for the exactness of a Lye; Write there indebted to me— Lor. Nay then thou dost deserve it: Rest due to Isabella. Writes. Item, Innumerable Serenades, Night-walks, Affronts And Fears; and lastly, to the Poets for Songs, and the like. Isab. All which was recompensed in the excessive Laughing on you that Day you praunc’d under our Window on Horse-back, when you made such a Deal of Capriol and Curvet. Lor. Yes, where I ventur’d my Neck to shew my Activity, and therefore may be well accompted Amongst my Losses. Isab. Then she receiv’d your Presents, Suffer’d your Serenades, without sending her Foot-men To break your Pate with the Fiddles. Lor. Indeed that was one of the best Signs; For I have been a great Sufferer in that kind Upon the like occasions: but dost thou think In Conscience that this should satisfy? Isab. Yes, any reasonable Man in the World, for the First Month at least; and yet you are still up With your Expences, as if a Lady of her Quality Were to be gain’d without them. —Let me hear of your Expences more, and I’ll— Lor. Oh sweet Isabella! upon my Knees I beg thou wilt take no fatal Resolution; For I protest, as I am a Man of Honour, And adore thy Sex, thou shalt only see, Not hear of my Expences more; And for a small testimony of it, here take this; There’s twenty Pistoles upon Reputation. Gives her Money. Isab. Fy, fy, ’tis not brave, nor generous to name The Sum, you should have slid it into my Coat, Without saying what you had done. Lor. What signifies that, mun, as long as ’tis current, And you have it sure? Isab. Well, leave the management of your Affairs to me— What shall we do? here’s Alberto.

Lor. ’Twill serve to disguise a Truth however. Aside to her. Ex. Isab. Faith, I’ll tell you, Sir, ’twas such another Damsel As this, that sav’d me five hundred Pound once upon a time; And I have lov’d the whole Tribe of Waiting-women The better ever since. Alb. You have reason; how was it? Lor. Why, look you, Sir, I had made Love a long time to a Lady; But she shall be nameless, Since she was of a quality not to be gain’d under The aforesaid Sum: well, I brought it, Came pouder’d and perfum’d, and high in expectation. Alb. Well, Sir. Lor. And she had a very pretty Wench, who was to Conduct me, and in the dark too; And, on my Conscience, I e’en fell aboard of her, And was as well accommodated for my five, As five Hundred Pounds, and so return’d. Alb. A great defeat to the Lady the while, a my word. Lor. Ay, she smelt the Plot, and made a Vow to follow The Italian mode for the future; And be serv’d in Affairs of that kind by none But an old Woman.

Alb. I do not like this Fellow’s being here, The most notorious Pimp and Rascal in Italy; ’Tis a vile shame that such as he should live, Who have the form and sense of Man about them, And in their Action Beast; And that he thrives by too.

—Isabella, is Antonio stirring? Isab. He is, please your Lordship to walk in. Alb. You may tell him I wait here: For I would avoid all opportunity of seeing Clarina. Aside.

—Dress’d already! now on my conscience I know not which is which: Pray God Antonio be not mistaken at night, For I’ll be sworn I am by day-light. Ism. Dost think I may pass thus for Clarina? Isab. Madam, you are the same to a hair; Wou’d I might never stir If I can do any thing but wonder. Clar. But hark, Isabella, if thou shou’dst have Heard amiss, and that thy information should not be good, Thou hast defeated us of a design, Wherein we promise our selves no little pleasure. Ism. Yes, I vow, all the Jest is lost if it be so. Isab. I doubt ’twill be a true Jest on your side. Aside. —I warrant you, Madam, my Intelligence is good; And to assure you of what I have said, I dare undertake you shall hear the same over again: For just now Alberto is come to visit my Lord, Who I am sure will entertain him with no other stories, But those of his Jealousy, And to persuade him to court you. Clar. ’Tis strange, since he set him that Task so long ago, He would not begin before. Ism. Nay, pray God he begin now; Sister, he has hitherto took me for thee, And sometimes his Eyes give me hope of a secret Fire within, but ’twill not out; And I am so impatient till he declares himself, That if he do not do it soon, I shall e’en tell him who I am; For perhaps the Wife takes off the appetite, Which would sharpen upon knowledge of the Virgin. Clar. What then, you’ll have all the sport to your self? —But, Ismena, remember my little Revenge on Antonio Must accompany your Love to Alberto. Aside. Isab. But why this resemblance? For, Madam, since he never saw you, And takes Ismena to be you; Might you not still pass so, without this likeness? Clar. Didst thou not say Antonio left the Court And City, on purpose to give Alberto the more freedom To Court me?—Whilst he was away, I needed but retire, And Ismena appear, and ’twould suffice; But now he is return’d, He may chance to see them together, en passant, or so, And this dress will abuse him as well as Alberto; For without that, this Plot of ours signifies little. Ism. Ay, truly, for my part, I have no other design Than doing my Sister a service. Isab. The Plot is very likely to thrive I see, Since you are so good at dissembling. Ism. Fie, Isabella, what an ill opinion you have of me? —But, Sister, ’tis much Alberto being so intimate With Antonio, should never see you all this whole Six Months of your being married. Clar. Had you been bred any where But in a Monastery, you would have known ’Tis not the custom here for Men to expose their Wives to the view of any. Isab. I hear them coming, let’s away, And pray listen to the Truths I have already told you.