Sir Cau. I doubt you’ll find it to my Grief— [Aside. —But I think ‘tis all one to thee, thou car’st not for my Complement; no, thou’dst rather have a young Fellow.

L. Ful. I am not us’d to flatter much; if forty Years were taken from your Age, ‘twou’d render you something more agreeable to my Bed, I must confess.

Sir Cau. Ay, ay, no doubt on’t.

L. Ful. Yet you may take my word without an Oath, Were you as old as Time, and I were young and gay As April Flowers, which all are fond to gather; My Beauties all should wither in the Shade, E’er I’d be worn in a dishonest Bosom.

Sir Cau. Ay, but you’re wondrous free methinks, sometimes, which gives shreud suspicions.

L. Ful. What, because I cannot simper, look demure, and justify my Honour, when none questions it? —Cry fie, and out upon the naughty Women, Because they please themselves—and so wou’d I.

Sir Cau. How, wou’d, what cuckold me?

L. Ful. Yes, if it pleas’d me better than Vertue, Sir. But I’ll not change my Freedom and my Humour, To purchase the dull Fame of being honest.

Sir Cau. Ay, but the World, the World—

L. Ful. I value not the Censures of the Croud.

Sir Cau. But I am old.

L. Ful. That’s your fault, Sir, not mine.

Sir Cau. But being so, if I shou’d be good-natur’d, and give thee leave to love discreetly—

L. Ful. I’d do’t without your leave, Sir.

Sir Cau. Do’t—what, cuckold me?

L. Ful. No, love discreetly, Sir, love as I ought, love honestly.

Sir Cau. What, in love with any body, but your own Husband?

L. Ful. Yes.

Sir Cau. Yes, quoth a—is that your loving as you ought?

L. Ful. We cannot help our Inclinations, Sir, No more than Time, or Light from coming on— But I can keep my Virtue, Sir, intire.

Sir Cau. What, I’ll warrant, this is your first Love, Gayman?

L. Ful. I’ll not deny that Truth, though even to you.

Sir Cau. Why, in consideration of my Age, and your Youth, I’d bear a Conscience—provided you do things wisely.

L. Ful. Do what thing, Sir?

Sir Cau. You know what I mean—

L. Ful. Hah—I hope you wou’d not be a Cuckold, Sir.

Sir Cau. Why—truly in a civil way—or so.

L. Ful. There is but one way, Sir, to make me hate you; And that wou’d be tame suffering.

Sir Cau. Nay, and she be thereabouts, there’s no discovering.

L. Ful. But leave this fond discourse, and, if you must, Let us to Bed.

Sir Cau. Ay, ay, I did but try your Virtue, mun—dost think I was in earnest?

Enter Servant.

Serv. Sir, here’s a Chest directed to your Worship.

Sir Cau. Hum, ‘tis Wasteall—now does my heart fail me—A Chest say you—to me—so late;—I’ll warrant it comes from Sir Nicholas Smuggle—some prohibited Goods that he has stoln the Custom of, and cheated his Majesty—Well, he’s an honest Man, bring it in—

[Exit Servant.

L. Ful. What, into my Apartment, Sir, a nasty Chest!

Sir Cau. By all means—for if the Searchers come, they’ll never be so uncivil to ransack thy Lodgings; and we are bound in Christian Charity to do for one another—Some rich Commodities, I am sure—and some fine Knick-knack will fall to thy share, I’ll warrant thee —Pox on him for a young Rogue, how punctual he is! [Aside.

Enter with the Chest.

—Go, my Dear, go to Bed—I’ll send Sir Nicholas a Receit for the Chest, and be with thee presently—

[Ex. severally.

[Gayman peeps out of the Chest, and looks round him wondring.

Gay. Hah, where am I? By Heaven, my last Night’s Vision—’Tis that inchanted Room, and yonder’s the Alcove! Sure ‘twas indeed some Witch, who knowing of my Infidelity—has by Inchantment brought me hither— ’.is so—I am betray’d—[Pauses. Hah! or was it Julia, that last night gave me that lone Opportunity?—but hark, I hear some coming— [Shuts himself in.

Enter Sir Cautious.

Sir Cau. [Lifting up the Chest-lid.] So, you are come, I see— [Goes, and locks the door.

Gay. Hah—he here! nay then, I was deceiv’d, and it was Julia that last night gave me the dear Assignation. [Aside.

[Sir Cautious peeps into the Bed-chamber.

L. Ful. [Within.] Come, Sir Cautious, I shall fall asleep, and then you’ll waken me.

Sir Cau. Ay, my Dear, I’m coming—she’s in Bed—I’ll go put out the Candle, and then—

Gay. Ay, I’ll warrant you for my part—

Sir Cau. Ay, but you may over-act your part, and spoil all—But, Sir, I hope you’ll use a Christian Conscience in this business.

Gay. Oh, doubt not, Sir, but I shall do you Reason.

Sir Cau. Ay, Sir, but—

Gay. Good Sir, no more Cautions; you, unlike a fair Gamester, will rook me out of half my Night—I am impatient—

Sir Cau. Good Lord, are you so hasty? if I please, you shan’t go at all.

Gay. With all my soul, Sir; pay me three hundred Pound, Sir—

Sir Cau. Lord, Sir, you mistake my candid meaning still. I am content to be a Cuckold, Sir—but I wou’d have things done decently, d’ye mind me?

Gay. As decently as a Cuckold can be made, Sir.—But no more disputes, I pray, Sir.

Sir Cau. I’m gone—I’m gone—but harkye, Sir, you’ll rise before day? [Going out, returns.

Gay. Yet again—

Sir Cau. I vanish, Sir—but harkye—you’ll not speak a word, but let her think ‘tis I?

Gay. Be gone, I say, Sir— [He runs out. I am convinc’d last night I was with Julia. Oh Sot, insensible and dull!

Enter softly Sir Cautious.

Sir Cau. So, the Candle’s out—give me your hand.

[Leads him softly in.