THE FAT CAPTAIN.

One of the queerest men I ever knew was Captain ——. Well, there, you won’t be any wiser if I tell you his name. He has been dead some time, but many of his friends are still living, so I will merely call him the fat captain.

He was an immensely stout man, and if he wasn’t a port admiral, he was a portly captain.

Once when his ship was in the Piræus, he gave an entertainment to some of the principal residents at Athens, among whom were many ladies. They spent a merry evening on board the ship, and when it was time for the party to break up, the captain called aside the first lieutenant, who was a very small man indeed, by the way, and told him that when the boats were putting off from the ship he would fall into the water, and asked the lieutenant if he would mind jumping in after him. The latter, quite appreciating the joke, readily consented, for both could swim; and they waited to carry out their intention.

But the gunner had overheard the conversation, and knew what was going to take place.

Now this man was a great favourite on board, especially with the captain, with whom he had sailed six years. He was the handiest man imaginable, and could do anything, even to repairing any watches that might be out of order. His readiness and willingness gave him a certain position which made him rather saucy.

When he heard of the captain’s intended joke, he thought some fun might be made out of it, and so he went below and told all the men of it.

At length the party was ready to go. It was a lovely night; the moon shone on the still blue water, and the ladies were looking forward to a pleasant row to land.

Just as the boats had got clear of the ship there was a sudden splash as a body fell heavily into the water, and a cry was instantly raised, “The captain overboard.”

Another splash! as over went the lieutenant, the ladies screaming, greatly terrified.

No sooner was the lieutenant in the water, when splash! splash! splash! as from every port-hole on that side of the ship plunged sailor after sailor, who had been waiting, undressed, for the captain’s joke.

Then followed quite a scrimmage as to who should save the captain, until the unfortunate man was being rather roughly handled in the very laudable and extraordinarily prompt efforts, as he thought, to save his life. When the ladies got over the fright of the supposed accident, and the proximity of so many naked tars, they entered into the fun and enjoyed it with the others.

I don’t know if the captain ever knew of the part the gunner had taken in the affair, but he always continued to be a favourite with him, although the captain frequently declared he was the greatest blackguard in the ship.

Some time after, when the captain’s vessel was ordered home, he sent for the gunner and told him he was going home, but wouldn’t disgrace himself by taking such a blackguard back to England. He said he was transferred to another ship, and handed him two letters. When he got out of the cabin the man found that one letter contained his discharge to the admiral’s ship, and the other a ten-pound note.

They quite understood one another, and I dare say the gunner would rather have had his captain’s abuse than his praise. Queer fellow, wasn’t he?