[Steele.

Tuesday, Feb. 28, to Thursday, March 2, 1709-10.

Sheer Lane, March 1.

Having the honour to be by my great-grandmother a Welshman, I have been among some choice spirits of that part of Great Britain, where we solaced ourselves in celebration of the day of St. David. I am, I confess, elevated above that state of mind which is proper for lucubration: but I am the less concerned at this, because I have for this day or two last past observed, that we novelists have been condemned wholly to the pastry-cooks, the eyes of the nation being turned upon greater matters.[127] This therefore being a time when none but my immediate correspondents will read me, I shall speak to them chiefly at this present writing. It is the fate of us who pretend to joke, to be frequently understood to be only upon the droll when we are speaking the most seriously, as appears by the following letter to Charles Lillie:

"Mr. Lillie, "London, February 28, 1709/10.

"It being professed by 'Squire Bickerstaff, that his intention is to expose the vices and follies of the age, and to promote virtue and goodwill amongst mankind; it must be a comfort, to a person labouring under great straits and difficulties, to read anything that has the appearance of succour. I should be glad to know therefore, whether the intelligence given in his Tatler of Saturday last,[128] of the intended charity of a certain citizen of London, to maintain the education of ten boys in writing and accounts till they be fit for trade, be given only to encourage and recommend persons to the practice of such noble and charitable designs, or whether there be a person who really intends to do so. If the latter, I humbly beg Squire Bickerstaff's pardon for making a doubt, and impute it to my ignorance; and most humbly crave, that he would be pleased to give notice in his Tatler, when he thinks fit, whether his nomination of ten boys be disposed of, or whether there be room for two boys to be recommended to him; and that he will permit the writer of this to present him with two boys, who, it is humbly presumed, will be judged to be very remarkable objects of such charity.

"Sir, "Your most humble Servant."

I am to tell this gentleman in sober sadness, and without jest, that there really is so good and charitable a man as the benefactor inquired for in his letter, and that there are but two boys yet named. The father of one of them was killed at Blenheim, the father of the other at Almanza. I do not here give the names of the children, because I should take it to be an insolence in me to publish them, in a charity which I have only the direction of as a servant, to that worthy and generous spirit who bestows upon them this bounty, without laying the bondage of an obligation. What I have to do is to tell them, they are beholden only to their Maker, to kill in them as they grow up the false shame of poverty, and let them know, that their present fortune, which is come upon them by the loss of their poor fathers on so glorious occasions, is much more honourable, than the inheritance of the most ample ill-gotten wealth.

The next letter which lies before me is from a man of sense, who strengthens his own authority with that of Tully, in persuading me to what he very justly believes one cannot be averse:

" Mr. Bickerstaff, "London, Feb. 27, 1709.

"I am so confident of your inclination to promote anything that is for the advancement of liberal arts, that I lay before you the following translation of a paragraph in Cicero's oration in defence of Archias the poet, as an incentive to the agreeable and instructive reading of the writings of the Augustan age. Most vices and follies proceed from a man's incapacity of entertaining himself, and we are generally fools in company, because we dare not be wise alone. I hope, on some future occasions, you will find this no barren hint. Tully, after having said very handsome things of his client, commends the arts of which he was master as follows:

"'If so much profit be not reaped in the study of letters, and if pleasure only be found; yet, in my opinion, this relaxation of the mind should be esteemed most humane and ingenuous. Other things are not for all ages, places and seasons. These studies form youth, delight old age, adorn prosperity, and soften, and even remove adversity, entertain at home, are no hindrance abroad; don't leave us at night, and keep us company on the road and in the country.' I am,

"Your humble Servant, "Strephon."

The following epistle seems to want the quickest despatch, because a lady is every moment offended till it is answered; which is best done by letting the offender see in her own letter how tender she is of calling him so:

"Sir,

"This comes from a relation of yours, though unknown to you, who, besides the tie of consanguinity, has some value for you on the account of your lucubrations, those being designed to refine our conversation, as well as cultivate our minds. I humbly beg the favour of you, in one of your Tatlers (after what manner you please), to correct a particular friend of mine, for an indecorum he is guilty of in discourse, of calling his acquaintance, when he speaks of them, 'Madam': as for example, my cousin Jenny Distaff, 'Madam Distaff'; which I am sure you are sensible is very unpolite, and 'tis what makes me often uneasy for him, though I cannot tell him of it myself, which makes me guilty of this presumption, that I depend upon your goodness to excuse; and I do assure you, the gentleman will mind your reprehension, for he is, as I am,

"Sir, "Your most humble "Servant and Cousin, "Dorothy Drumstick.

"I write this in a thin under-petticoat,[129] and never did or will wear a farthingale."

I had no sooner read the just complaint of Mrs. Drumstick, but I received an urgent one from another of the fair sex, upon faults of more pernicious consequence:

"Mr. Bickerstaff,

"Observing that you are entered into a correspondence with Pasquin,[130] who is, I suppose, a Roman Catholic, I beg of you to forbear giving him any account of our religion, or manners, till you have rooted out certain misbehaviours even in our churches; among others, that of bowing, saluting, taking snuff, and other gestures. Lady Autumn made me a very low curtsy the other day from the next pew, and, with the most courtly air imaginable, called herself 'Miserable sinner.' Her niece soon after, in saying, 'Forgive us our trespasses,' curtsied with a gloating look at my brother. He returned it, opening his snuff-box and repeating yet a more solemn expression. I beg of you, good Mr. Censor, not to tell Pasquin anything of this kind, and to believe this does not come from one of a morose temper, mean birth, rigid education, narrow fortune, or bigotry in opinion, or from one in whom Time had worn out all taste of pleasure. I assure you, it is far otherwise, for I am possessed of all the contrary advantages; and hope, wealth, good humour, and good breeding, may be best employed in the service of religion and virtue; and desire you would, as soon as possible, remark upon the above-mentioned indecorums, that we may not longer transgress against the latter, to preserve our reputation in the former.

"Your humble Servant, "Lydia."

The last letter I shall insert is what follows. This is written by a very inquisitive lady; and I think, such interrogative gentlewomen are to be answered no other way than by interrogation. Her billet is this:

"Dear Mr. Bickerstaff,

"Are you quite as good as you seem to be?

"Chloe."

To which I can only answer:

"Dear Chloe,

"Are you quite as ignorant as you seem to be?

"I. B."

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