Good Manners Fifty Years Ago.

Easier for a Camel to Pass Through a Needle's Eye Than for the Modern Aspirant to Butt into Society Through the Rules of Deportment Prevalent in the Middle of the Last Century.

Eliza Leslie was born in Philadelphia in 1787. Her father was a personal friend of Franklin, Jefferson, and other eminent men. She went with her family to England as a child, remaining until her sixteenth year. She wrote some verse at different periods, but not until her fortieth year did she publish any prose. This took the form of a cookery-book, which met with great success. Later, Godey's Ladies' Book published a prize story from her pen—"Mrs. Washington Potts"—and she adopted literature as a profession. Several books on household topics and manners were among her most popular productions, and in one of the latest of these—the "Behavior Book," published in 1853—one may find so many illuminating suggestions and such a wealth of instruction for ladies "as regards their conversation; manners; dress; introductions; entrée to society; shopping; conduct in the street; at places of amusement; in traveling; at the table, either at home, in company, or at hotels; deportment in gentlemen's society; lips; complexion; teeth; hands; the hair; etc., etc.," that it would seem to have been a straight way and a narrow gate indeed which led to the land of good form and good looks fifty years ago.

It would also seem, from her having addressed the work particularly to ladies, that they were the worst offenders in matters of manners; she avows her purpose, however, in a conciliatory preface, to be "to amend and not to offend; to improve her young countrywomen, and not to annoy them." The few "habitual misbehavements" to which she would call their attention she has noted during a "long course of observation, on a very diversified field."

Shopping.

When circumstances render it expedient to carry much money out with you, divide it; putting half in one purse or pocketbook and half in another, and put these portions in two pockets.

Gentlemen consider it a very irksome task to go on shopping expeditions, and their ill-concealed impatience becomes equally irksome to you.

Do not interfere with the shopping of other customers (who may chance to stand near you at the counter), by either praising or depreciating any of the articles they are looking at. Leave them to the exercise of their own judgment, unless they ask your opinion; and then give it in a low voice and sincerely.

Always object to a parcel being put up in newspaper, as the printing ink will rub off and soil the article enclosed. If it is a little thing that you are going to take home in your own hand, it will smear your gloves. All shopkeepers in good business can afford to buy proper wrapping-paper, and they generally do so. It is very cheap. See also that they do not wrap your purchase in so small a bit of paper as to squeeze and crush it.

We knew an instance of a lady in New York giving a hundred-dollar note to a strawberry-woman, instead of a note of one dollar. Neither note nor woman were seen or heard of more.

In getting change, see that three-cent pieces are not given you for five cents.

Traveling.

Previous to departing, put into the hand of your escort rather more than a sufficient sum for the expenses of your journey, so as to provide for all possible contingencies. He will return you the balance when all is paid. Having done this, should any person belonging to the line come to you for your fare, refer them to the gentleman (mentioning his name), and take care to pay nothing yourself.

Dress very plainly when traveling. Few ladies that are ladies wear finery in railcars and steamboats—still less in stages, stage-roads being usually very dusty. Showy silks, and what are called dress-bonnets, are preposterous; so are jewelry ornaments—which, if real, you run a great risk of losing, and if false, are very ungenteel. Above all, do not travel in white kid gloves. Respectable women never do.

Such are the facilities of traveling that a lady evidently respectable, plainly dressed, and behaving properly, may travel very well without a gentleman. Two ladies still better. On commencing the journey, she should speak to the conductor, requesting him to attend to her and her baggage, and to introduce her to the captain of the boat, who will, of course, take charge of her during the voyage.

Arrival at a Hotel.

On arriving at the hotel, ask immediately to see the proprietor, give him your name and address, tell how long you purpose staying, and request him to see that you are provided with a good room. Request him also to conduct you to the dining-room at dinner-time, and allot you a seat near his own. For this purpose he will wait for you near the door (do not keep him waiting), or meet you in the ladies' drawing-room. While at table, if the proprietor or any other gentleman asks you to take wine with him, politely refuse.

If you do not wish to be encumbered by carrying the key in your pocket, let it be left during your absence with the clerk in the office, or with the barkeeper; and send to him for it on your return. Desire the servant who attends the door to show no person up to your room during your absence. If visitors wish to wait for your return, it is best they should do so in the parlor.

In a public parlor, it is selfish and unmannerly to sit down to the instrument uninvited and fall to playing or practising without seeming to consider the probability of your interrupting or annoying the rest of the company, particularly when you see them all engaged in reading or in conversation. If you want amusement, you had better read or occupy yourself with some light sewing or knitting-work.

If you have breakfasted early, it will be well to put some gingerbread-nuts or biscuits into your satchel when you go out, as you may become very hungry before dinner.

Hotel Breakfast.

Always take butter with the butter-knife, and then do not forget to return that knife to the butter-plate. Carefully avoid cutting bread with your own knife, or taking salt with it from the salt-cellar. It looks as if you had not been accustomed to butter-knives and salt-spoons.

Ladies no longer eat salt-fish at a public table. The odor of it is now considered extremely ungenteel, and it is always very disagreeable to those who do not eat it. If you breakfast alone, you can then indulge in it.

It is ungenteel to go to the breakfast-table in any costume approaching to full dress. There must be no flowers or ribbons in the hair. A morning-cap should be as simple as possible. The most genteel morning-dress is a close gown of some plain material, with long sleeves, which in summer may be white muslin. A merino or cashmere wrapper (gray, brown, purple, or olive), faced or trimmed with other merino of an entirely different color (such as crimson, scarlet, green, or blue), is a becoming morning-dress for winter. In summer, a white cambric-muslin morning-robe is the handsomest breakfast attire, but one of gingham or printed muslin the most convenient. The colored dress may be made open in front, with short, loose sleeves, and a pointed body. Beneath it a white under-dress, having a chemisette front down to the belt, and long white sleeves down to the wrist. This forms a very graceful morning-costume, the white skirt appearing where the colored skirt opens.

The fashion of wearing black silk mittens at breakfast is now obsolete. It was always inconvenient, and neither useful nor ornamental.

Hotel Dinner.

When eating fish, remove the bones carefully, and lay them on the edge of your plate. Then, with the fork in your right hand (the concave or hollow side held uppermost), and a small piece of bread in your left, take up the flakes of fish. Servants, and all other persons, should be taught that the butter-sauce should not be poured over the fish, but put on one side of the plate, that the eater may use it profusely or sparingly, according to taste, and be able to mix it conveniently with the sauce from the fish-castors. Pouring butter-sauce over anything is now ungenteel.

It is an affectation of ultra-fashion to eat pie with a fork, and has a very awkward and inconvenient look. Cut it up with your knife and fork, then proceed to eat it with the fork in your right hand.

Much of this determined fork-exercise may be considered foolish; but it is fashionable.

It is, however, customary in eating sweet potatoes of a large size to break them in two, and, taking a piece in your hand, to pierce down to the bottom with your fork, and then mix in some butter, continuing to hold it thus while eating it.

If a lady wishes to eat lobster, let her request the waiter that attends her to extract a portion of it from the shell, and bring it to her on a clean plate—also to place a castor near her.

On no consideration let any lady be persuaded to take two glasses of champagne. It is more than the head of an American female can bear. And she may rest assured that (though unconscious of it herself) all present will find her cheeks flushing, her eyes twinkling, her tongue unusually voluble, her talk loud and silly, and her laugh incessant. Champagne is very insidious, and two glasses may throw her into this pitiable condition.

We have seen a young gentleman lift his plate of soup in both hands, hold it to his mouth, and drink, or rather lap it up. This was at no less a place than Niagara.

On Shipboard.

If you are sick yourself, say as little about it as possible. And never allude to it at table, where you will receive little sympathy, and perhaps render yourself disgusting to all who hear you. At no time talk about it to gentlemen. Many foolish commonplace sayings are uttered by ladies who attempt to describe the horrors of seasickness. For instance this: "I felt all the time as if I wished somebody to take me up and throw me overboard." This is untrue—no human being ever really did prefer drowning to seasickness.

A piano never sounds well on shipboard—the cabins are too small and the ceilings too low. To the sick and nervous (and all who are seasick become very nervous) this instrument is peculiarly annoying. Therefore, be kind enough to spare them the annoyance. You can practise when the weather is fine, and the invalids are on deck. Pianos have been abolished in many of the finest ships. Such instruments as can be carried on deck and played in the open air are, on the contrary, very delightful at sea, when in the hands of good performers—particularly on a moonlight evening.

Things Not to Do.

Slapping a gentleman with your handkerchief, or tapping him with your fan. Allowing him to take a ring off your finger, to look at it. Permitting him to unclasp your bracelet, or, still worse, to inspect your brooch. When these ornaments are to be shown to another person always take them off for the purpose.

Introductions.

Where the company is large, the ladies of the house should have tact enough to avoid introducing and placing together persons who cannot possibly assimilate, or take pleasure in each other's society. The dull and the silly will be far happier with their compeers. To a woman of talent and a good conversationalist it is a cruelty to put her unnecessarily in contact with stupid or unmeaning people. She is wasted and thrown away upon such as are neither amusing nor amusable. Neither is it well to bring together a gay, lively woman of the world, and a solemn, serious, repulsive dame, who is a contemner of the world and all its enjoyments.

Avoid giving invitations to bores. They will come without.

We saw no less a person than Charles Dickens compelled at a large party to devote the whole evening to writing autographs for a multitude of young ladies—many of whom, not satisfied with obtaining one of his signatures for themselves, desired half a dozen others for "absent friends." All conversation ceased with the first requisition for an autograph. He had no chance of saying anything. We were a little ashamed of our fair townswomen.