CHILDHOOD.

Household treasures! household treasures!

Are they jewels rich and rare;

Or gems of rarest workmanship;

Or gold and silver ware?

Ask the mother as she gazes

On her little ones at play:

Household treasures! household treasures!

Happy children—ye are they.

J. E. Carpenter.

ABLUTION.

116. At twelve months old, do you still recommend a child to be PUT IN HIS TUB to be washed?

Certainly I do, as I have previously recommended at page 19, in order that his skin may be well and thoroughly cleansed. If it be summer time, the water should be used cold; if it be winter, a dash of warm must be added, so that it may be of the temperature of new milk; but do not, on any account, use very warm water. The head must be washed (but not dried) before he be placed in his tub; then, putting him in the tub containing the necessary quantity of water, and washing him as previously recommended (See Infancy—Ablution), a large sponge should be filled with the water and squeezed over the head, so that the water may stream over the whole surface of the body. A jugful of cold water should, just before taking him out of his bath, be poured over and down his 109loins; all this ought rapidly to be done, and he must be quickly dried with soft towels, and then expeditiously dressed. For the washing of your child I would recommend you to use Castile soap in preference to any other: it is more pure, and less irritating, and hence does not injure the texture of the skin. Take care that the soap does not get into his eyes, or it might produce irritation and smarting.

117. Some mothers object to a child’s STANDING in the water.

If the head be wetted before he be placed in the tub, and if he be washed as above directed, there can be no valid objection to it. He must not be allowed to remain in the tub more than five minutes.

118. Does not washing the child’s head, every morning, make him more liable to catch cold, and does it not tend to weaken his sight?

It does neither the one nor the other; on the contrary, it prevents cold, and strengthens the sight; it cleanses the scalp, prevents scurf, and, by that means, causes a more beautiful head of hair. The head, after each washing, ought to be well brushed with a soft brush, but should not be combed. The brushing causes a healthy circulation of the scalp.

119. If the head, notwithstanding the washing, be scurfy, what should be done?

After the head has been well dried, let a little cocoanut oil be well rubbed, for five minutes each time, into the roots of the hair, and, afterward, let the head be well brushed, but not combed. The fine-tooth comb will cause a greater accumulation of scurf, and will scratch and injure the scalp.

120. Do you recommend a child to be washed IN HIS TUB every night and morning?

No; once a day is quite sufficient; in the morning in preference to the evening; unless he be poorly, then, evening 110instead of morning; as, immediately after he has been washed and dried, he can be put to bed.

121. Ought a child to be placed in his tub while he is in a state of perspiration?

Not while he is perspiring violently, or the perspiration might be checked suddenly, and ill consequences would ensue; nor ought he to be put in his tub when he is cold, or his blood would be chilled, and would be sent from the skin to some internal vital part, and thus would be likely to light up inflammation—probably of the lungs. His skin, when he is placed in his bath, ought to be moderately and comfortably warm; neither too hot nor too cold.

122. When the child is a year old, do you recommend cold or warm water to be used?

If it be winter, a little warm water ought to be added, so as to raise the temperature to that of new milk. As the summer advances, less and less warm water is required, so that, at length, none is needed.

123. If a child be delicate, do you recommend anything to be added to the water which may tend to brace and strengthen him?

Either a handful of table salt or half a handful of bay salt should be previously dissolved in a quart jug of cold water; then, just before taking the child out of his morning bath, let the above be poured over and down the back and loins of the child—holding the jug, while pouring its contents on the back, twelve inches from the child, in order that it might act as a kind of douche bath.

124. Do you recommend the child, after he has been dried with the towel, to be rubbed with the hand?

I do; as friction encourages the cutaneous circulation, and causes the skin to perform its functions properly, thus preventing the perspiration (which is one of the impurities of the body) from being sent inwardly either to the lungs or to other parts. The back, the chest, the bowels, and the limbs are the parts that ought to be well rubbed.

111

CLOTHING.

125. Have you any remarks to make on the clothing of a child?

Children—boys and girls—especially if they be delicate, ought always to wear high dresses up to their necks. The exposure of the upper part of the chest (if the child be weakly) is dangerous. It is in the upper part of the lungs, in the region of the collar-bones, that consumption first shows itself. The clothing of a child, more especially about the chest, should be large and full in every part, and be free from tight strings, so that the circulation of the blood may not be impeded, and that there may be plenty of room for the full development of the rapidly growing body.

His frock or tunic ought to be of woolen material—warm, light, and porous, in order that the perspiration may rapidly evaporate. The practice of some mothers in allowing their children to wear tight bands round their waists, and tight clothes, is truly reprehensible.

Tight bands or tight belts around the waist of a child are very injurious to health; they crib in the chest, and thus interfere with the rising and the falling of the ribs—so essential to breathing. Tight hats ought never to be worn; by interfering with the circulation they cause headaches. Nature delights in freedom, and resents interference!

126. What parts of the body in particular ought to be kept warm?

The chest, the bowels, and the feet should be kept comfortably warm. We must guard against an opposite extreme, and not keep them too hot. The head alone should 112be kept cool, on which account I do not approve either of night or of day caps.

127. What are the best kinds of hat for a child?

The best covering for the head, when he is out and about, is a loose-fitting straw hat, which will allow the perspiration to escape. It should have a broad brim, to screen the eyes. A sunshade, that is to say, a sea-side hat—a hat made of cotton, with a wide brim to keep off the sun—is also an excellent hat for a child; it is very light, and allows a free escape of the perspiration. It can be bought, ready made, at a baby-linen warehouse.

A knitted or crocheted woolen hat, with woolen rosettes to keep the ears warm, and which may be procured at any baby-linen warehouse, makes a nice and comfortable winter’s hat for a child. It is also a good hat for him to wear while performing a long journey. The color chosen is generally scarlet and white, which, in cold weather, gives it a warm and comfortable appearance.

It is an abominable practice to cover a child’s head either with beaver or with felt, or with any thick, impervious material. It is a well-ascertained fact, that both beaver and silk hats cause men to suffer from headache, and to lose their hair—the reason being that the perspiration cannot possibly escape through them. Now, if the perspiration cannot escape, dangerous, or at all events injurious, consequences must ensue, as it is well known that the skin is a breathing apparatus, and that it will not with impunity bear interference.

Neither a child nor any one else should be permitted to be in the glare of the sun without his hat. If he be allowed, he is likely to have a sun-stroke, which might either at once kill him, or might make him an idiot for the remainder of his life, which latter would be the worse alternative of the two.

128. Have you any remarks to make on keeping a child’s 113hands and legs warm when, in the winter time, he is carried out?

When a child either walks or is carried out in wintry weather, be sure and see that both his hands and legs are well protected from the cold. There is nothing for this purpose like woolen gloves, and woolen stockings coming up over the knees.

129. Do you approve of a child wearing a flannel night-gown?

He frequently throws the clothes off him, and has occasion to be taken up in the night, and if he has not a flannel gown on is likely to catch cold; on which account I recommend it to be worn. The usual calico night-gown should be worn under it.

130. Do you advise a child to be LIGHTLY clad, in order that he may be hardened thereby?

I should fear that such a plan, instead of hardening, would be likely to produce a contrary effect. It is an ascertained fact that more children of the poor, who are thus lightly clad, die, than of those who are properly defended from the cold. Again, what holds good with a young plant is equally applicable to a young child; and we all know that it is ridiculous to think of unnecessarily exposing a tender plant to harden it. If it were thus exposed, it would wither and die!

131. If a child be delicate, if he has a cold body or a languid circulation, or if he be predisposed to inflammation of the lungs, do you approve of his wearing flannel instead of linen shirts?

I do; as flannel tends to keep the body at an equal temperature, thus obviating the effects of the sudden changes of the weather, and promotes, by gentle friction, the cutaneous circulation, thus warming the cold body, and giving an impetus to the languid circulation, and preventing an undue quantity of blood from being sent to the lungs, 114either to light up or to feed inflammation. Fine flannel, of course, ought to be worn, which should be changed as frequently as the usual shirts.

If a child has had an attack either of bronchitis or of inflammation of the lungs, or if he has just recovered from scarlet fever, by all means, if he has not previously worn flannel, instantly let him begin to do so, and let him, next to the skin, wear a flannel waistcoat. This is important advice, and ought not to be disregarded.

Scarlet flannel is now much used instead of white flannel; and as scarlet flannel has a more comfortable appearance, and does not shrink so much in washing, it may for the white be substituted.

132. Have you any remarks to make on the shoes and stockings of a child? and on the right way of cutting the toe-nails?

He ought, during the winter, to wear lambs’ wool stockings that will reach above the knees, and thick calico drawers that will reach a few inches below the knees; as it is of the utmost importance to keep the lower extremities comfortably warm. It is really painful to see how many mothers expose the bare legs of their little ones to the frosty air, even in the depths of winter. “Tender little children are exposed to the bitterest weather, with their legs bared in a manner that would inevitably injure the health of strong adults.”

Garters ought not to be worn, as they impede the circulation, waste the muscles, and interfere with walking. The stocking may be secured in its place by means of a loop and tape, which should be fastened to a part of the dress.

Let me urge upon you the importance of not allowing your child to wear tight shoes; they cripple the feet, causing the joints of the toes, which ought to have free play, and which should assist in walking, to be, in a 115manner, useless; they produce corns and bunions, and interfere with the proper circulation of the foot. A shoe ought to be made according to the shape of the foot—rights and lefts are therefore desirable. The toe-part of the shoe must be made broad, so as to allow plenty of room for the toes to expand, and that one toe cannot overlap another. Be sure, then, that there be no pinching and no pressure. In the article of shoes you ought to be particular and liberal; pay attention to having nicely fitting ones, and let them be made of soft leather, and throw them on one side the moment they are too small. It is poor economy, indeed, because a pair of shoes be not worn out, to run the risk of incurring the above evil consequences.

Shoes are far preferable to boots; boots weaken instead of strengthen the ankle. The ankle and instep require free play, and ought not to be hampered by boots. Moreover, boots, by undue pressure, decidedly waste away the ligaments of the ankle. Boots act on the ankles in a similar way that stays do on the waist—they do mischief by pressure. Boots waste away the ligaments of the ankle; stays waste away the muscles of the back and chest: and thus, in both cases, do irreparable mischief.

A shoe for a child ought to be made with a narrow strap over the instep, and with button and button-hole: if it be not made in this way, the shoe will not keep on the foot.

It is a grievous state of things that in this nineteenth century there are very few shoemakers in England who know how to make a shoe! The shoe is made not to fit the real foot, but a fashionable imaginary one!

Let me strongly urge you to be particular that the sock or stocking fits nicely—that it is neither too small nor too large; if it be too small, it binds up the toes unmercifully, and makes one toe to ride over the other, and thus renders 116the toes perfectly useless in walking; if it be too large, it is necessary to lap a portion of the sock or stocking either under or over the toes, which thus presses unduly upon them, and gives pain and annoyance. It should be borne in mind that if the toes have full play, they, as it were, grasp the ground, and greatly assist in locomotion—which, of course, if they are cramped up, they cannot possibly do. Be careful, too, that the toe-part of the sock or stocking be not pointed; let it be made square, in order to give room to the toes. “At this helpless period of life the delicately feeble, outspreading toes, are wedged into a narrow-toed stocking, often so short as to double in the toes, diminishing the length of the rapidly-growing foot! It is next, perhaps, tightly laced into a boot of less interior dimensions than itself; when the poor little creature is left to sprawl about with a limping, stumping gait, thus learning to walk as it best can, under circumstances the most cruel and torturing imaginable.”

It is impossible for either a stocking or a shoe to fit nicely, unless the toe-nails be kept in proper order. Now, in cutting the toe-nails there is, as in everything else, a right and a wrong way. The right way of cutting a toe-nail is to cut it straight—in a straight line. The wrong way is to cut the corners of the nail—to round the nail, as it is called. This cutting the corners of the nails often makes work for the surgeon, as I myself can testify; it frequently produces “growing-in” of the nail, which sometimes necessitates the removal of either the nail or of a portion of it.

133. At what time of the year should a child leave off his winter clothing?

A mother ought not to leave off her children’s winter clothing until the spring be far advanced; it is far better to be on the safe side, and to allow the winter clothes to 117be worn until the end of May. The old adage is very good, and should be borne in mind:

“Button to chin

Till May be in;

Ne’er cast a clout

Till May be out.”

134. Have you any general remarks to make on the present fashion of dressing children?

The present fashion is absurd. Children are frequently dressed like mountebanks, with feathers and furbelows and finery: the boys go bare-legged; the little girls are dressed like women, with their stuck-out petticoats, crinolines, and low dresses! Their poor little waists are drawn in tight, so that they can scarcely breathe; their dresses are very low and short, the consequence is, that a great part of the chest is exposed to our variable climate; their legs are bare down to their thin socks, or, if they be clothed, they are only covered with gossamer drawers; while their feet are incased in tight shoes of paper thickness! Dress! dress! dress! is made with them at a tender age, and, when first impressions are the strongest, a most important consideration. They are thus rendered vain and frivolous, and are taught to consider dress “as the one thing needful.” And if they live to be women—which the present fashion is likely frequently to prevent—what are they? Silly, simpering, delicate, lackadaisical nonentities,—dress being their amusement, their occupation, their conversation, their everything, their thoughts by day and their dreams by night! Let children be dressed as children, not as men and women. Let them be taught that dress is quite a secondary consideration. Let health, and not fashion, be the first, and we shall have, with God’s blessing, blooming children, who will, in time, be the pride and strength of dear old England! Oh that the 118time may come, and may not be far distant, “That our sons may grow up as the young plants, and that our daughters may be as the polished corners of the temple.”

DIET.

135. At TWELVE months old, have you any objection to a child having any other food besides that you mentioned in answer to the 34th question?

There is no objection to his occasionally having for dinner either a mealy, mashed potato and gravy, or a few crumbs of bread and gravy. Rice-pudding or batter-pudding may, for a change, be given; but remember, the food recommended in a former Conversation is what, until he be eighteen months old, must be principally taken. During the early months of infancy—say, for the first six or seven—if artificial food be given at all, it should be administered by means of a feeding-bottle. After that time, either a spoon or a nursing-boat will be preferable. As he becomes older, the food ought to be made more solid.

136. At EIGHTEEN months old, have you any objection to a child having meat?

He ought not to have meat until he has several teeth to chew it with. If he has most of his teeth—which he very likely, at this age, will have—there is no objection to his taking a small slice either of mutton or occasionally of roast beef, which should be well cut into very small pieces, and mixed with a mealy, mashed potato, and a few crumbs of bread and gravy, either every day, if he be delicate, or every other day, if he be a gross or a fast-feeding child. It may be well, in the generality of cases, for the first few months to give him meat every other day, and either potato and gravy, or rice or suet-pudding or batter pudding on 119the alternate days; indeed, I think so highly of rice, of suet, and of batter puddings, and of other farinaceous puddings, that I should advise you to let him have either the one or the other, even on those days that he has meat—giving it him after his meat. But remember, if he have meat and pudding, the meat ought to be given sparingly. If he be gorged with food, it makes him irritable, cross, and stupid; at one time, clogging up the bowels and producing constipation; at another, disordering the liver, and causing either clay-colored stools, denoting a deficiency of bile, or dark and offensive motions, telling of vitiated bile; while, in a third case, cramming him with food might bring on convulsions.

137. As you are so partial to puddings for a child, which do you consider the best for him?

He ought, every day, to have a pudding for his dinner—either rice, arrow-root, sago, tapioca, suet-pudding, batter-pudding, or Yorkshire-pudding, mixed with crumbs of bread and gravy—free from grease. A well-boiled suet-pudding, with plenty of suet in it, is one of the best puddings he can have; it is, in point of fact, meat and farinaceous food combined, and is equal to and will oftentimes prevent the giving of cod-liver oil. Before cod-liver oil came into vogue, suet boiled in milk was the remedy for a delicate child; he may, occasionally, have fruit-pudding, provided the pastry be both plain and light.

The objection to fruit pies and puddings is, that the pastry is often too rich for the delicate stomach of a child: there is no objection, certainly not, to the fruit—cooked fruit being, for a child, most wholesome; if, therefore, fruit puddings, and pies be eaten, the pastry part ought to be quite plain. There is, in “Murray’s Modern Cookery Book,” an excellent suggestion, which I will take the liberty of quoting, and of strongly urging my fair reader to carry into practice: “To prepare fruit for children, a far 120more wholesome way than in pies and puddings, is to put apples sliced, or plums, currants, gooseberries, etc., into a stone jar, and sprinkle among them as much Lisbon sugar as necessary. Set the jar on an oven or on a hearth, with a teacupful of water to prevent the fruit from burning; or put the jar into a saucepan of water, till its contents be perfectly done. Slices of bread or some rice may be put into the jar, to eat with the fruit.”

Jam—such as strawberry, raspberry, gooseberry—is most wholesome for a child, and ought occasionally to be given, in lieu of sugar, with the rice, with the batter, and with the other puddings. Marmalade, too, is very wholesome.

Puddings ought to be given after and not before his meat and vegetables; if you give him pudding before his meat, he might refuse to eat meat altogether.

By adopting the plan of giving puddings every day, your child will require less animal food: much meat is injurious to a young child.

But do not run into an opposite extreme: a little meat ought, every day, to be given, provided he has cut the whole of his first set of teeth; until then, meat every other day will be often enough.

138. As soon as a child has cut the whole of his first set of teeth, what ought to be his diet? What should be his breakfast?

He can, then, have nothing better, where it agrees, than scalding-hot new milk poured on sliced bread, with a slice or two of bread and butter to eat with it. Butter, in moderation, is nourishing, fattening, and wholesome. Moreover, butter tends to keep the bowels regular. These facts should be borne in mind, as some mothers foolishly keep their children from butter, declaring it to be too rich for their children’s stomachs! New milk should be used in preference either to cream or to skimmed milk. Cream, as a rule, is too rich for the delicate stomach of a child, and skim-milk is too poor when robbed of the 121butter which the cream contains. But give cream and water, where new milk (as is occasionally the case) does not agree; but never give skim-milk. Skim-milk (among other evils) produces costiveness, and necessitates the frequent administration of aperients. Cream, on the other hand, regulates and tends to open the bowels.

Although, as a rule, I am not so partial to cream as I am to good genuine fresh milk, yet I have found, in cases of great debility, more especially where a child is much exhausted by some inflammatory disease, such as inflammation of the lungs, the following food most serviceable: Beat up, by means of a fork, the yolk of an egg, then mix, little by little, half a teacupful of very weak black tea, sweeten with one lump of sugar, and add a tablespoonful of cream. Let the foregoing, by teaspoonfuls at a time, be frequently given.

The above food is only to be administered until the exhaustion be removed, and is not to supersede the milk diet, which must, at stated periods, be given, as I have recommended in answers to previous and subsequent questions.

When a child has costive bowels, there is nothing better for his breakfast than well-made and well-boiled oatmeal stir-about, which ought to be eaten with milk fresh from the cow. Scotch children scarcely take anything else, and a finer race is not in existence; and, as for physic, many of them do not even know either the taste or the smell of it!

139. Have you any remarks to make on cow’s milk, as an article of food?

Cow’s milk is a valuable, indeed, an indispensable article of diet for children; it is most nourishing, wholesome, and digestible. The finest and the healthiest children are those who, for the first four or five years of their lives, are fed principally upon it. Milk ought then to be their staple food.

122No young child, as a rule, can live, or, if he live, can be healthy, unless milk is the staple article of his diet. There is no substitute for milk. To prove the fattening and strengthening qualities of milk, look only at a young calf who lives on milk, and on milk alone! He is a Samson in strength, and is as fat as butter; and all young things are fat if they are in health!

Milk contains every ingredient to build up the body, which is more than can be said of any other known substance. A child may live entirely, and become both healthy and strong, on milk, and on milk alone, as it contains every constituent of the human body. A child cannot “live by bread alone,” but he might on milk alone! Milk is animal and vegetable—it is meat and bread—it is a fluid, but as soon as it reaches the stomach it becomes a solid—solid food; it is the most important and valuable article of diet for a child in existence. It is a glorious food for the young, and must never, in any case, be dispensed with. How is milk, in the making of cheese, converted into curds? By rennet. What is rennet? The juice of a calf’s maw or stomach. The moment the milk enters the human maw or stomach, the juice of the stomach converts it into curds—into solid food, just as readily as when it enters a calf’s maw or stomach, and much more readily than by rennet, as the fresh juice is stronger than the stale. An ignorant mother often complains that because, when her child is sick, the milk curdles, that it is a proof that it does not agree with him! If, at those times, it did not curdle, it would, indeed, prove that his stomach was in a wretchedly weak state; she would, then, have abundant cause to be anxious. “Considering that milk contains in itself most of the constituents of a perfect diet, and is capable of maintaining life in infancy without the aid of any other substance, it is marvelous that the consumption of it is practically limited to so small a 123class; and not only so, but that in sick-rooms, where the patient is surrounded with every luxury, arrow-root, and other compounds containing much less nutriment, should so often be preferred to it.”

Do not let me be misunderstood. I do not mean to say but that the mixing of farinaceous food—such as Lemann’s Biscuit Powder, Robb’s Biscuit, Hards’ Farinaceous Food, Brown and Polson’s Corn Flour, and the like, with the milk, is an improvement—a great improvement; but still I maintain that a child might live and thrive, and that for a lengthened period, on milk—and on milk alone!

A dog will live and fatten for six weeks on milk alone! while he will starve and die in a shorter period on strong beef-tea alone!

It is a grievous sin for a milkman to adulterate milk. How many a poor infant has fallen a victim to that crime!—for crime it may truly be called.

It is folly in the extreme for a mother to bate a milkman down in the price of his milk; if she does, the milk is sure to be either of inferior quality, or adulterated, or diluted with water; and woe betide the poor unfortunate child if it be either the one or the other! The only way to insure good milk is to go to a respectable cow-keeper, and let him be made to thoroughly understand the importance of your child having genuine milk, and that you are then willing to pay a fair remunerative price for it. Rest assured, that if you have to pay one penny or even twopence a quart more for genuine milk, it is one of the best investments that you ever have made, or that you are ever likely to make, in this world! Cheap and inferior milk might well be called cheap and nasty; for inferior or adulterated milk is the very essence, the conglomeration, of nastiness; and, moreover, is very poisonous to a child’s stomach. One and the principal reason why so 124many children are rickety and scrofulous, is the horrid stuff called milk that is usually given to them. It is a crying evil, and demands a thorough investigation and reformation, and the individual interference of every parent. Limited Liability Companies are the order of the day; it would really be not a bad speculation if one was formed in every large town, in order to insure good, genuine, and undiluted milk.

Young children, as a rule, are allowed to eat too much meat. It is a mistaken notion of a mother that they require so much animal food. If more milk were given, and less meat, they would be healthier, and would not be so predisposed to disease, especially to skin disease.

I should strongly recommend you, then, to be extravagant in your milk score. Each child ought, in the twenty-four hours, to take at least a quart of good, fresh, new milk. It should, of course, be given in various ways,—as bread and milk, rice puddings, milk, and different kinds of farinaceous food, stir-about, etc. etc.

140. But suppose my child will not take milk, he having an aversion to it, what ought then to be done?

Boil the milk, and sweeten it to suit his palate. After he has been accustomed to it for awhile, he will then, probably, like milk. Gradually reduce the sugar until at length it be dispensed with. A child will often take milk this way, whereas he will not otherwise touch it.

If a child will not drink milk, he must eat meat; it is absolutely necessary that he should have either the one or the other; and, if he has cut nearly all his teeth, he ought to have both meat and milk—the former in moderation, the latter in abundance.

141. Supposing milk should not agree with my child, what must then be done?

Milk, either boiled or unboiled, almost always agrees with a child. If it does not, it must be looked upon as 125the exception, and not the rule. I would, in such a case, advise one-eighth of lime-water to be added to seven-eighths of new milk—that is to say, two tablespoonfuls of lime-water should be mixed with half a pint of new milk.

142. Can you tell me of a way to prevent milk, in hot weather from turning sour?

Let the jug of milk be put into a crock containing ice—either in the dairy or in the cellar. The ice should be kept wrapped either in a flannel or in a blanket, in a cool place until it be wanted.

143. Is it necessary to give a child luncheon?

If he want anything to eat between breakfast and dinner, let him have a piece of dry bread; and if he has eaten very heartily at dinner, and, like Oliver Twist, “asks for more!” give him, to satisfy his craving, a piece of dry bread. He will never eat more of that than will do him good, and yet he will take sufficient to satisfy his hunger, which is very important.

144. What ought now to be his dinner?

He should now have meat, either mutton or beef, daily, which must be cut up very small, and should be mixed with mealy mashed potato and gravy. He ought always to be accustomed to eat salt with his dinner. Let a mother see that this advice is followed, or evil consequences will inevitably ensue. Let him be closely watched, to ascertain that he well masticates his food, and that he does not eat too quickly; for young children are apt to bolt their food.

145. Have you any objection to pork for a change?

I have a great objection to it for the young. It is a rich, gross, and therefore unwholesome food for the delicate stomach of a child. I have known it, in several instances, produce violent pain, sickness, purging, and convulsions. If a child be fed much upon such meat, it will be likely to produce “breakings-out” on the skin. In 126fine, his blood will put on the same character as the food he is fed with. Moreover, pork might be considered a strong meat, and “strong meat and strong drink can only be taken by strong men.”

146. Do you approve of veal for a child?

My objection to pork was, that it was rich and gross; this does not apply to veal; but the objection to it is, that it is more difficult of digestion than either mutton or beef.

147. Do you disapprove of salted and boiled beef for a child?

If beef be much salted it is hard of digestion, and therefore ought not to be given to him; but if it has been but slightly salted, then for a change there will be no objection to a little.

There is no necessity in the winter time to salt meat intended for boiling; then, boiled unsalted meat makes a nice change for a child’s dinner. Salt, of course, must with the unsalted meat be eaten.

148. But suppose there is nothing on the table that a child may with impunity eat?

He should then have either a grilled mutton-chop, or a lightly boiled egg; indeed, the latter, at any time, makes an excellent change.

149. Are potatoes an unwholesome food for a child?

New ones are; but old potatoes, well cooked and mealy, are the best vegetables he can have. They ought to be well mashed, as I have known lumps of potatoes cause convulsions.

150. Do you approve of any other vegetables for a child?

Occasionally. Either asparagus, or broccoli, or cauliflower, or turnips, or French beans, which latter should be cut up fine, may with advantage be given.

151. Might not a mother be too particular in dieting her child?

127Certainly not. If blood can be too pure and too good she might! When we take into account that the food we eat is converted into blood; that if the food be good, the blood is good; and that if the food be improper or impure, the blood is impure likewise; and, moreover, when we know that every part of the body is built up by the blood, we cannot be considered to be too particular in making our selection of food. Besides, if indigestible or improper food be taken into the stomach, the blood will not only be made impure, but the stomach and the bowels will be disordered.

Do not let me be misunderstood: I am no advocate for a child having the same food one day as another—certainly not. Let there be variety, but let it be wholesome variety. Variety in a child’s (not in an infant’s) food is necessary. If he were fed, day after day, on mutton, his stomach would at length be brought into that state that in time it would not properly digest any other meat, and a miserable existence would be the result.

152. What ought a child to drink with his dinner?

Toast and water, or, if he prefer it, plain spring water. Let him have as much as he likes. If you give him water to drink, there is no fear of his taking too much; Nature will tell him when he has had enough. Be careful of the quality of the water, and the source from which you procure it. Soft spring water from a moderately deep well is the best. If it come from a land spring, it is apt, indeed is almost sure, to be contaminated by drains, etc., which is a frequent cause of fevers, of diphtheria, of Asiatic cholera, and of other blood poisons.

Guard against the drinking water being contaminated with lead; never, therefore, allow the water to be collected in leaden cisterns, as it sometimes is if the water be obtained from Water-works’ companies. Lead pumps, for the same reason, ought never to be used for drinking purposes. 128Paralysis, constipation, lead colic, dropping of the wrist, wasting of the ball of the thumb, loss of memory and broken and ruined health might result from neglect of this advice.

All honor to the man who first invented the Drinking Fountain, and all honor to the mayors and corporations of towns who see that they are kept in good, efficient working order! The drinking fountains are a great boon to poor children, as water, and plenty of it, is one of the chief necessaries of their very existence; and, unfortunately, at their own homes they are not, oftentimes, able to obtain a sufficient supply. Moreover, drinking fountains are the best advocates for temperance.

Some parents are in the habit of giving their children beer with their dinners, making them live as they live themselves! This practice is truly absurd, and fraught with great danger—not only so, but it is inducing a child to be fond of that which in after life might be his bane and curse. No good end can be obtained by it; it will not strengthen so young a child; it will, on the contrary, create fever, and will thereby weaken him; it will act injuriously upon his delicate, nervous, and vascular systems, and might be a means of producing inflammation either of the brain or of its membranes, and might thus cause water on the brain (a disease to which young children are subject), or it might induce inflammation of the lungs.

158. What ought a child who has cut his teeth to have for his supper?

The same that he has for breakfast. He should sup at six o’clock.

154. Have you any general remarks to make on a child’s meals?

I recommended a great sameness in an infant’s diet; but a child’s meals, his dinners especially, ought to be much varied. For instance, do not let him have, day after day, 129mutton; but ring the changes on mutton, beef, poultry, game, and even occasionally fish—sole or cod.

Not only let there be a change of meat, but let there be a change in the manner of cooking it: let the meat sometimes be roasted; at other times let it be boiled. I have known a mother who has prided herself as being experienced in these matters, feed her child, day after day, on mutton-chops! Such a proceeding is most injurious to him, as after awhile his unfortunate stomach will digest nothing but mutton-chops, and, in time, not even those!

With regard to vegetables, potatoes—mashed potatoes—ought to be his staple vegetable; but every now and then, cauliflower, asparagus, turnips, and French beans should be given.

With respect to puddings, vary them—rice, one day; suet, another; batter, a third; tapioca, a fourth; or, even occasionally, he might have either apple or gooseberry or rhubarb-pudding, provided the pastry be plain and light.

It is an excellent plan, as I have before remarked, to let a child eat jam—such as strawberry, raspberry, or gooseberry—and that without stint, either with rice or with batter puddings.

Variety of diet, then, is good for a child: it will give him muscle, bone, and sinew; and, what is very important, it will tend to regulate his bowels, and it will thus prevent the necessity of giving him aperients.

But do not stuff a child—do not press him, as is the wont of some mothers, to eat more than he feels inclined. On the contrary, if you think that he is eating too much—that he is overloading his stomach—and if he should ask for more, then, instead of giving him either more meat or more pudding, give him a piece of dry bread. By doing so, you may rest assured that he will not eat more than is absolutely good for him.

130155. If a child be delicate, is there any objection to a little wine, such as cowslip or tent, to strengthen him?

Wine ought not to be given to a child unless it be ordered by a medical man: it is even more injurious than beer. Wine, beer, and spirits principally owe their strength to the alcohol they contain; indeed, nearly all wines are fortified (as it is called) with brandy. Brandy contains a large quantity of alcohol, more than any other liquor, namely, 55.3 per cent. If, therefore, you give wine, it is, in point of fact, giving diluted brandy—diluted alcohol; and alcohol acts, unless it be used as a medicine, and under skillful medical advice, as a poison to a child.

156. Suppose a child suddenly to lose his appetite: is any notice to be taken of it?

If he cannot eat well, depend upon it there is something wrong about the system. If he be teething, let a mother look well to his gums, and satisfy herself that they do not require lancing. If they be red, hot, and swollen, send for a medical man, that he may scarify them. If his gums be not inflamed, and no tooth appears near, let her look well to the state of his bowels; let her ascertain that they be sufficiently opened, and that the stools be of a proper consistence, color, and smell. If they be neither the one nor the other, give a dose of aperient medicine, which will generally put all to rights. If the gums be cool, and the bowels be right, and his appetite continue bad, call in medical aid.

A child asking for something to eat is frequently, in a severe illness, the first favorable symptom; we may generally then prognosticate that all will soon be well again.

If a child refuse his food, neither coax nor tempt him to eat: as food without an appetite will do him more harm than it will do him good; it may produce either sickness, bowel complaint, or fever. Depend upon it, 131there is always a cause for want of appetite;—perhaps his stomach has been overworked, and requires repose; or his bowels are loaded, and Nature wishes to take time to use up the old material;—there might be fever lurking in his system; Nature stops the supplies, and thus endeavors, by not giving it food to work with, to nip it in the bud;—there might be inflammation; food would then be improper, as it would only add fuel to the fire; let, therefore, the cause be either an overworked stomach, overloaded bowels, fever, or inflammation, food would be injurious. Kind Nature, if we will but listen to her voice, will tell us when to eat and when to refrain.

157. When a child is four or five years old, have you any objection to his drinking tea?

Some parents are in the habit of giving their children strong (and frequently green) tea. This practice is most hurtful. It acts injuriously upon their delicate, nervous system, and thus weakens their whole frame. If milk does not agree, a cup of very weak tea, that is to say, water with a dash of black tea in it, with a tablespoonful of cream, may be substituted for milk; but a mother must never give tea where milk agrees.

158. Have you any objection to a child occasionally having either cakes or sweetmeats?

I consider them as so much slow poison. Such things both cloy and weaken the stomach, and thereby take away the appetite, and thus debilitate the frame. Moreover, “sweetmeats are colored with poisonous pigments.” A mother, surely, is not aware that when she is giving her child sugar confectionery she is, in many cases, administering a deadly poison to him? “We beg to direct the attention of our readers to the Report of the Analytical Sanitary Commission, contained in the Lancet, on the pigments employed in coloring articles of sugar confectionery. From this report it appears that metallic pigments, of a 132highly dangerous and even poisonous character, containing chromic acid, lead, copper, mercury, and arsenic, are commonly used in the coloring of such articles.”

If a child be never allowed to eat cakes and sweetmeats, he will consider a piece of dry bread a luxury, and will eat it with the greatest relish.

159. Is baker’s or is home-made bread the most wholesome for a child?

Baker’s bread is certainly the lightest; and, if we could depend upon its being unadulterated, would, from its lightness, be the most wholesome; but as we cannot always depend upon baker’s bread, home-made bread, as a rule, should be preferred. If it be at all heavy, a child must not be allowed to partake of it; a baker’s loaf ought then to be sent for, and continued to be eaten until light home-made bread can be procured. Heavy bread is most indigestible. He must not be allowed to eat bread until it be two or three days old. If it be a week old, in cold weather, it will be the more wholesome.

160. Do you approve either of caraway seeds or of currants in bread or in cakes—the former to disperse wind, the latter to open the bowels?

There is nothing better than plain bread: the caraway seeds generally pass through the bowels undigested, and thus might irritate, and might produce, instead of disperse wind. Although caraway seeds whole are unwholesome, yet caraway-tea, made as recommended in question 97, is an excellent remedy to disperse wind. Some mothers put currants in cakes, with a view of opening the bowels of their children; but they only open them by disordering them.

161. My child has an antipathy to certain articles of diet: what would you advise to be done?

A child’s antipathy to certain articles of diet should be respected: it is a sin and a shame to force him to eat what 133he has a great dislike to: a child, for instance, sometimes dislikes the fat of meat, underdone meat, the skin off boiled milk and off rice-pudding. Why should he not have his likes and dislikes as well as “children of a larger growth?” Besides, there is an idiosyncrasy—a peculiarity of the constitution in some children—and Nature oftentimes especially points out what is good and what is bad for them individually, and we are not to fly in the face of Nature. “What is one man’s meat is another man’s poison.” If a child be forced to eat what he dislikes, it will most likely not only make him sick, but will disorder his stomach and bowels: food, if it is really to do him good, must be eaten by him with a relish, and not with disgust and aversion. Some mothers, who are strict disciplinarians, pride themselves on compelling their children to eat whatever they choose to give them! Such children are to be pitied!

162. When ought a child to commence to dine with his parents?

As soon as he be old enough to sit up at the table, provided the father and mother either dine or lunch in the middle of the day. “I always prefer having children about me at meal-times. I think it makes them little gentlemen and gentlewomen in a manner that nothing else will.”

THE NURSERY.

163. Have you any remarks to make on the selection, the ventilation, the warming, the temperature, and the arrangements of a nursery? and have you any further observations to offer conducive to the well-doing of my child?

The nursery ought to be the largest and the most airy room in the house. In the town, if it be in the topmost 134story (provided the apartment be large and airy) so much the better, as the air will then be purer. The architect, in the building of a house, ought to be particularly directed to pay attention to the space, the loftiness, the ventilation, the light, the warming, and the conveniences of a nursery. A bath-room attached to it will be of great importance and benefit to the health of a child.

It will, also, be advantageous to have a water-closet near at hand, which should be well supplied with water, be well drained, and be well ventilated. If this be not practicable, the evacuations ought to be removed as soon as they are passed. It is a filthy and an idle habit of a nurse-maid to allow a motion to remain for any length of time in the room.

The Ventilation of a nursery is of paramount importance. There ought to be a constant supply of fresh, pure air in the apartment. But how few nurseries have fresh, pure air? Many nurseries are nearly hermetically sealed—the windows are seldom, if ever, opened; the doors are religiously closed; and, in the summer time, the chimneys are carefully stuffed up, so that a breath of air is not allowed to enter! The consequences are, the poor unfortunate children “are poisoned by their own breaths,” and are made so delicate that they are constantly catching cold; indeed, it might be said that they are laboring under chronic catarrhs, all rising from Nature’s laws being set at defiance.

The windows ought to be large, and should be made to freely open both top and bottom. Whenever the child is out of the nursery the windows ought to be thrown wide open; indeed, when he is in it, if the weather be fine, the upper sash should be a little lowered. A child should be encouraged to change the room frequently, in order that it may be freely ventilated; for good air is as necessary to his health as wholesome food, and air cannot be good if it 135be not frequently changed. If you wish to have a strong and healthy child, ponder over and follow this advice.

I have to enter my protest against the use of a stove in a nursery. I consider a gas stove without a chimney to be an abomination, most destructive to human life. There is nothing like the old-fashioned open fire-place, with a good-sized chimney, so that it may not only carry off the smoke, but also the impure air of the room.

Be sure to have a fire-guard around the grate, and be strict in not allowing your child either to touch or to play with fire; frightful accidents have occurred from mothers and nurses being on these points lax.

The nursery ought to have a large fire-guard, to go all round the hearth, and which should be sufficiently high to prevent a child from climbing over. Not only must the nursery have a guard, but every room where he is allowed to go should be furnished with one on the bars.

Moreover, it will be necessary to have a guard in every room where a fire is burning, to protect the ladies, who, in accordance with the present fashion, wear such preposterous crinolines, and thus to prevent the frightful deaths which are at the present time of such frequent and startling occurrence; lady-burning is now one of the institutions of our land!

A nursery is usually kept too hot; the temperature in the winter time ought not to exceed 60 degrees Fahrenheit. A good thermometer should be considered an indispensable requisite to a nursery. A child in a hot, close nursery is bathed in perspiration; if he leave the room to go to one of lower temperature, the pores of the skin are suddenly closed, and either a severe cold, or an inflammation of the lungs, or an attack of bronchitis, is likely to ensue. Moreover, the child is both weakened and enervated by the heat, and thus readily falls a prey to disease.

A child ought never to be permitted to sit with his 136back to the fire; if he be allowed, it weakens his spine, and thus his whole frame; it causes a rush of blood to the head and face, and predisposes him to catch cold.

Let a nurse make a point of opening the nursery window every time that she and her little charge leave the nursery, if their absence be only for half an hour. The mother herself ought to see that this advice is followed, pure air is so essential to the well-being of a child. Pure air and pure water, and, let me add, pure milk, are for a child the grand and principal requirements of health. “Pure air and water are practically the two great elements of health.”—The Times.

Look well to the Drainage of your house and neighborhood. A child is very susceptible to the influence of bad drainage. Bad drains are fruitful sources of scarlet fever, of diphtheria, of diarrhœa, etc. “It is sad to be reminded, that, whatever evils threaten the health of a population, whether from pollutions of water or of air,—whether from bad drainage or overcrowding, they fall heaviest on the most innocent victims—upon children of tender years. Their delicate frames are infinitely more sensitive than the hardened constitutions of adults, and the breath of poison or the chill of hardships easily blights their tender life.”

A nursery floor ought not to be washed oftener than once a week; and then the child or children should, until it be dry, be sent into another room. During the drying of the floor, the windows must, of course, be thrown wide open.

The constant wetting of a nursery is a frequent source of illness among children. The floor ought, of course, to be kept clean; but this may be done by the servant thoroughly sweeping the room out every morning before her little charge makes his appearance.

Do not have your nursery walls covered with green 137paper-hangings. Green paper-hangings contain large quantities of arsenic—arsenite of copper (Scheele’s green)—which, I need scarcely say, is a virulent poison, and which flies about the room in the form of powder. There is frequently enough poison on the walls of a room to destroy a whole neighborhood.

There is another great objection to having your nursery walls covered with green paper-hangings; if any of the paper should become loose from the walls, a little child is very apt to play with it, and to put it, as he does everything else, to his mouth. This is not an imaginary state of things, as four children in one family have just lost their lives from sucking green paper-hangings.

Green dresses, as they are colored with a preparation of arsenic, are equally as dangerous as green paper-hangings; a child ought, therefore, never to wear a green dress. “It may be interesting to some of our readers,” says Land and Water, “to know that the new green, so fashionable for ladies’ dresses, is just as dangerous in its nature as the green wall-paper, about which so much was written some time since. It is prepared with a large quantity of arsenic; and we have been assured by several of the leading dressmakers that the work-women employed in making up dresses of this color are seriously affected with all the symptoms of arsenical poison. Let our lady friends take care.”

Children’s toys are frequently painted of a green color with arsenic of copper, and are, consequently, highly dangerous to play with. The best toy for a child is a box of unpainted wooden bricks, which is a constant source of amusement to him.

If you have your nursery walls hung with paintings and engravings, let them be of good quality. The horrid daubs and bad engravings that usually disfigure nursery walls, are enough to ruin the taste of a child, and to make him 138take a disgust to drawing, which would be a misfortune. A fine engraving and a good painting expand and elevate his mind. We all know that first impressions are the most vivid and the most lasting. A taste in early life for everything refined and beautiful purifies his mind, cultivates his intellect, keeps him from low company, and makes him grow up a gentleman!

Lucifer matches, in case of sudden illness, should, both in the nursery and in the bed-room, always be in readiness; but they must be carefully placed out of the reach of children, as lucifer matches are a deadly poison.

164. Have you any observation to make on the LIGHT of the nursery?

Let the window, or, what is better, the windows, of a nursery be very large, so as to thoroughly light up every nook and corner of the room, as there is nothing more conducive to the health of a child than an abundance of light in the dwelling.

A room cannot, then, be too light. The windows of a nursery are generally too small. A child requires as much light as a plant. Gardeners are well aware of the great importance of light in the construction of their greenhouses, and yet a child, who requires it as much, and is of much greater importance, is cooped up in dark rooms!

The windows of a nursery ought not only to be frequently opened to let in fresh air, but should be frequently cleaned, to let in plenty of light and of sunshine, as nothing is so cheering and beneficial to a child as an abundance of light and sunshine!

With regard to the best artificial light for a nursery.—The air of a nursery cannot be too pure; I therefore do not advise you to have gas in it, as gas in burning gives off quantities of carbonic acid and sulphuretted hydrogen, which vitiate the air. There is no better light for a nursery 139than either Price’s patent candles or the old-fashioned tallow candle.

Let a child’s home be the happiest house to him in all the world; and to be happy he must be merry, and all around him should be merry and cheerful; and he ought to have an abundance of playthings, to help on the merriment.

If he has a dismal nurse, and a dismal home, he may as well be incarcerated in prison, and be attended by a jailer. It is sad enough to see dismal, doleful men and women, but it is a truly lamentable and unnatural sight to see a doleful child! The young ought to be as playful and as full of innocent mischief as a kitten. There will be quite time enough in after-years for sorrow and for sadness.

Bright colors, plenty of light, clean windows (mind this, if you please), an abundance of good-colored prints, and toys without number, are the proper furnishings of a nursery. Nursery! why, the very name tells you what it ought to be—the home of childhood,—the most important room in the house,—a room that will greatly tend to stamp the character of your child for the remainder of his life.

165. Have you any more hints to offer conducive to the well-doing of my child?

You cannot be too particular in the choice of those who are in constant attendance upon him. You yourself, of course, must be his head-nurse—you only require some one to take the drudgery off your hands!

You ought to be particularly careful in the selection of his nurse. She should be steady, lively, truthful, and good-tempered; and must be free from any natural imperfection, such as squinting, stammering, etc., for a child is such an imitative creature that he is likely to acquire that defect, which in the nurse is natural. “Children, 140like babies, are quick at ‘taking notice.’ What they see they mark, and what they mark they are very prone to copy.”

She ought not to be very young, or she may be thoughtless, careless, and giggling. You have no right to set a child to mind a child; it would be like the blind leading the blind. No! a child is too precious a treasure to be intrusted to the care and keeping of a young girl. Many a child has been ruined for life by a careless young nurse dropping him and injuring his spine.

A nurse ought to be both strong and active, in order that her little charge may have plenty of good nursing; for it requires great strength in the arms to carry a heavy child for the space of an hour or two, at a stretch, in the open air; and such is absolutely necessary, and is the only way to make him strong, and to cause him to cut his teeth easily, and at the same time to regulate his bowels; a nurse, therefore, must be strong and active, and not mind hard work, for hard work it is; but after she is accustomed to it, pleasant notwithstanding.

Never should a nurse be allowed to wear a mask, nor to dress up and paint herself as a ghost, or as any other frightful object. A child is naturally timid and full of fears, and what would not make the slightest impression upon a grown-up person, might throw a child into fits—

“The sleeping and the dead,

Are but as pictures: ’tis the age of childhood

That fears a painted devil.”

Never should she be permitted to tell her little charge frightful stories of ghosts and hobgoblins; if this be allowed, the child’s disposition will become timid and wavering, and may continue so for the remainder of his life.

If a little fellow were not terrified by such stories, the darkness would not frighten him more than the light. 141Moreover, the mind thus filled with fear, acts upon the body, and injures the health. A child must never be placed in a dark cellar, nor frightened by tales of rats, etc. Instances are related of fear thus induced impairing the intellect for life; and there are numerous examples of sudden fright causing a dangerous and even a fatal illness.

Night-terrors.—This frightening of a child by a silly nurse frequently brings on night-terrors. He wakes up suddenly, soon after going to sleep, frightened and terrified; screaming violently, and declaring that he has seen either some ghost, or thief, or some object that the silly nurse had been previously in the day describing, who is come for him to take him away. The little fellow is the very picture of terror and alarm; he hides his face in his mother’s bosom, the perspiration streams down him, and it is some time before he can be pacified—when, at length, he falls into a troubled, feverish slumber, to awake in the morning unrefreshed. Night after night these terrors harass him, until his health materially suffers, and his young life becomes miserable, looking forward with dread to the approach of darkness.

Treatment of night-terrors.—If they have been caused by the folly of the nurse, discharge her at once, and be careful to select a more discreet one. When the child retires to rest leave a candle burning, and let it burn all night; sit with him until he be asleep; and take care, in case he should rouse up in one of his night-terrors, that either you yourself or some kind person be near at hand. Do not scold him for being frightened—he cannot help it; but soothe him, calm him, fondle him, take him into your arms, and let him feel that he has some one to rest upon, to defend and to protect him. It is frequently in these cases necessary before he can be cured to let him have change of air and change of scene. Let him live in the daytime, a great part of the day, in the open air.

142A nurse-maid should never, on any account whatever, be allowed to whip a child. “Does ever any man or woman remember the feeling of being ‘whipped’ as a child, the fierce anger, the insupportable ignominy, the longing for revenge, which blotted out all thought of contrition for the fault or rebellion against the punishment? With this recollection on their own parts, I can hardly suppose any parents venturing to inflict it, much less allowing its infliction by another under any circumstances whatever. A nurse-maid or domestic of any sort, once discovered to have lifted up her hand against a child, ought to meet instant severe rebuke, and on a repetition of the offense instant dismissal.”

I have seen in the winter time a lazy nurse sit before the fire with a child on her lap, rubbing his cold feet just before putting him to his bed. Now this is not the way to warm his feet. The right method is to let him romp and run either about the room, or the landing, or the hall—this will effectually warm them; but, of course, it will entail a little extra trouble on the nurse, as she will have to use a little exertion to induce him to do so, and this extra trouble a lazy nurse will not relish. Warming the feet before the fire will give the little fellow chilblains, and will make him when he is in bed more chilly. The only way for him to have a good romp before he goes to bed, is for the mother to join in the game. She may rest assured, that if she does so, her child will not be the only one to benefit by it. She herself will find it of marvelous benefit to her own health; it will warm her own feet, it will be almost sure to insure her a good night, and will make her feel so light and buoyant as almost to fancy that she is a girl again! Well, then, let every child, before he retire to bed, hold a high court of revelry, let him have an hour—the Children’s Hour—devoted to romp, to dance, 143to riot, and to play, and let him be the master of the revels—

“Between the dark and the daylight,

When the night is beginning to lower,

Comes a pause in the day’s occupation,

Which is known as the Children’s Hour.”

Let a child be employed—take an interest in his employment, let him fancy that he is useful—and he is useful, he is laying in a stock of health. He is much more usefully employed than many other grown-up children are!

A child should be happy; he must, in every way, be made happy; everything ought to be done to conduce to his happiness, to give him joy, gladness, and pleasure. Happy he should be, as happy as the day is long. Kindness should be lavished upon him. Make a child understand that you love him; prove it in your actions—these are better than words; look after his little pleasures—join in his little sports; let him never hear a morose word—it would rankle in his breast, take deep root, and in due time bring forth bitter fruit. Love! let love be his polestar; let it be the guide and the rule of all you do and all you say unto him. Let your face, as well as your tongue, speak love. Let your hands be ever ready to minister to his pleasures and to his play. “Blessed be the hand that prepares a pleasure for a child, for there is no saying when and where it may again bloom forth. Does not almost everybody remember some kind-hearted man who showed him a kindness in the dulcet days of childhood? The writer of this recollects himself, at this moment, a bare-footed lad, standing at the wooden fence of a poor little garden in his native village, while, with longing eyes, he gazed on the flowers which were blooming there quietly in the brightness of the Sabbath morning. The possessor came from his little cottage. He was 144a wood-cutter by trade, and spent the whole week at work in the woods. He had come into the garden to gather flowers to stick in his coat when he went to church. He saw the boy, and breaking off the most beautiful of his carnations (it was streaked with red and white), he gave it to him. Neither the giver nor the receiver spoke a word, and with bounding steps the boy ran home. And now, here, at a vast distance from that home, after so many events of so many years, the feeling of gratitude which agitated the breast of that boy, expressed itself on paper. The carnation has long since faded, but it now bloometh afresh.”

The hearty ringing laugh of a child is sweet music to the ear. There are three most joyous sounds in nature—the hum of a bee, the purr of a cat, and the laugh of a child. They tell of peace, of happiness, and of contentment, and make one for awhile forget that there is so much misery in the world.

A man who dislikes children is unnatural; he has no “milk of human kindness” in him; he should be shunned. Give me, for a friend, a man—

“Who takes the children on his knee,

And winds their curls about his hand.”

166. If a child be peevish, and apparently in good health, have you any plan to offer to allay his irritability?

A child’s troubles are soon over—his tears are soon dried; “nothing dries sooner than a tear”—if not prolonged by improper management:

“The tear down childhood’s cheek that flows,

Is like the dewdrop on the rose;

When next the summer breeze comes by,

And waves the bush, the flower is dry.”

Never allow a child to be teased; it spoils his temper. If he be in a cross humor take no notice of it, but divert 145his attention to some pleasing object. This may be done without spoiling him. Do not combat bad temper with bad temper—noise with noise. Be firm, be kind, be gentle, be loving, speak quietly, smile tenderly, and embrace him fondly, but insist upon implicit obedience, and you will have, with God’s blessing, a happy child: “But we were gentle among you, even as a woman cherisheth her children.”—I. Thess. ii. 7.

“When a little child is weak,

From fever passing by,

Or wearied out with restlessness,

Don’t scold him if he cry.

Tell him some pretty story—

Don’t read it from a book;

He likes to watch you while you speak,

And take in every look.

Or sometimes singing gently—

A little song may please,

With quiet and amusing words,

And tune that flows with ease.

Or if he is impatient,

Perhaps from time to time

A simple hymn may suit the best,

In short and easy rhyme.

The measured verses flowing

In accents clear and mild,

May blend into his troubled thought,

And soothe the little child,

But let the words be simple,

And suited to his mind,

And loving, that his weary heart

A resting-place may find.”

Speak gently to a child; speak gently to all; but more especially speak gently to a child. “A gentle voice is an excellent thing in woman,” and is a jewel of great price, 146and is one of the concomitants of a perfect lady. Let the hinges of your disposition be well oiled. “‘I have a dear friend. He was one of those well-oiled dispositions which turn upon the hinges of the world without creaking.’ Would to heaven there were more of them! How many there are who never turn upon the hinges of this world without a grinding that sets the teeth of a whole household on edge! And somehow or other it has been the evil fate of many of the best spirits to be so circumstanced; both men and women, to whom life is ‘sweet habitude of being,’ which has gone far to reconcile them to solitude as far less intolerable! To these especially the creakings of those said rough hinges of the world is one continued torture, for they are all too finely strung; and the oft-recurring grind jars the whole sentient frame, mars the beautiful lyre, and makes cruel discord in a soul of music. How much of sadness there is in such thoughts! Seems there not a Past in some lives to which it is impossible ever to become reconciled?”

Pleasant words ought always to be spoken to a child! there must be neither snarling, nor snapping, nor snubbing, nor loud contention toward him. If there be it will ruin his temper and disposition, and will make him hard and harsh, morose and disagreeable.

Do not be always telling your child how wicked he is; what a naughty boy he is; that God will never love him, and all the rest of such twaddle. Do not, in point of fact, bully him, as many poor little fellows are bullied! It will ruin him if you do; it will make him in after-years either a coward or a tyrant. Such conversations, like constant droppings of water, will make an impression, and will cause him to feel that it is of no use to try to be good—that he is hopelessly wicked! Instead of such language, give him confidence in himself; rather find out his good points and dwell upon them; praise him where 147and whenever you can; and make him feel that, by perseverance and by God’s blessing, he will make a good man. Speak truthfully to your child; if you once deceive him, he will not believe you for the future. Not only so, but if you are truthful yourself you are likely to make him truthful—like begets like. There is something beautiful in truth! A lying child is an abomination! Sir Walter Scott says “that he taught his son to ride, to shoot, and to tell the truth.”

As soon as a child can speak, he should be made to lisp the noble words of truth, and to love it, and to abhor a lie! What a beautiful character he will then make! Blessed is that child who can say,—

“Parental cares watched o’er my growing youth,

And early stamped it with the love of truth.”

Have no favorites, show no partiality; for the young are very jealous, sharp-sighted, and quick-witted, and take a dislike to the petted one. Do not rouse the old Adam in them. Let children be taught to be “kindly affectionate one to another, with brotherly love;” let them be encouraged to share each other’s toys and playthings, and to banish selfishness.

Attend to a child’s little pleasures. It is the little pleasures of a child that constitute his happiness. Great pleasures to him and to us all (as a favorite author remarks) come but seldom, and are the exceptions, and not the rule.

Let a child be nurtured in love. “It will be seen that I hold this law of kindness as the Alpha and Omega of education. I once asked one, in his own house, a father in everything but the name, his authority unquestioned, his least word held in reverence, his smallest wish obeyed,—‘How did you ever manage to bring up these children?’ He said, ‘By love!’”

148Let every word and action prove that you love your children. Enter into all their little pursuits and pleasures. Join them in their play, and “be a child again!” If they are curious, do not check their curiosity; but rather encourage it; for they have a great deal—as we all have—to learn, and how can they know if they are not taught? You can depend upon it, the knowledge they obtain from observation is far superior to that obtained from books. Let all you teach them, let all you do, and let all you say, bear the stamp of love. “Endeavor, from first to last, in your intercourse with your children, to let it bear the impress of love. It is not enough that you feel affection toward your children—that you are devoted to their interests; you must show in your manner the fondness of your hearts toward them. Young minds cannot appreciate great sacrifices made for them; they judge their parents by the words and deeds of everyday life. They are won by little kindnesses, and alienated by little acts of neglect or impatience. One complaint unnoticed, one appeal unheeded, one lawful request arbitrarily refused, will be remembered by your little ones more than a thousand acts of the most devoted affection.”

A placid, well-regulated temper is very conducive to health. A disordered or an overloaded stomach is a frequent cause of peevishness. Appropriate treatment in such a case will, of course, be necessary.

167. My child stammers: can you tell me the cause, and can you suggest a remedy?

A child who stammers is generally “nervous,” quick, and impulsive. His ideas flow too rapidly for speech. He is “nervous:” hence, when he is alone, and with those he loves, he oftentimes speaks fluently and well; he stammers more both when he is tired, and when he is out of health—when the nerves are either weak or exhausted. He is emotional: when he is either in a passion or in excitement, 149either of joy or of grief, he can scarcely speak—“he stammers all over.” He is impulsive: he often stammers in consequence. He is in too great a hurry to bring out his words; they do not flow in a proper sequence; hence his words are broken and disjointed.

Stammering, of course, might be owing either to some organic defect, such as from defective palate, or from defective brain, then nothing will cure him; or it might be owing to “nervous” causes—to “irregular nervous action,” then a cure might, with care and perseverance, be usually effected.

In all cases of stammering of a child, let both the palate of his mouth and the bridle of his tongue be carefully examined, to see that neither the palate be defective, nor the bridle of the tongue be too short—that he be not tongue-tied.

Now, with regard to treatment. Make him speak slowly and deliberately; let him form each word, without clipping or chopping; let him be made, when you are alone with him, to exercise himself in elocution. If he speak quickly, stop him in his mid-career, and make him, quietly and deliberately, go through the sentence again and again, until he has mastered the difficulty; teach him to collect his thoughts, and to weigh each word ere he give it utterance; practice him in singing little hymns and songs for children; this you will find a valuable help in the cure. A stammerer seldom stutters when he sings. When he sings, he has a full knowledge of the words, and is obliged to keep in time—to sing neither too fast nor too slow. Besides, he sings in a different key to his speaking voice. Many professors for the treatment of stammering cure their patients by practicing lessons of a sing-song character.

Never jeer him for stammering, nor turn him to ridicule; if you do, it will make him ten times worse; but 150be patient and gentle with him, and endeavor to give him confidence, and encourage him to speak to you as quietly, as gently, and deliberately as you speak to him; tell him not to speak until he has arranged his thoughts and chosen his words; let him do nothing in a hurry.

Demosthenes was said, in his youth, to have stammered fearfully, and to have cured himself by his own prescription, namely, by putting a pebble in his mouth, and declaiming, frequently, slowly, quietly, and deliberately, on the sea-shore—the fishes alone being his audience,—until, at length, he cured himself, and charmed the world with his eloquence and with his elocution. He is held up, to this very day, as the personification and as the model of an orator. His patience, perseverance, and practice ought, by all who either are, or are interested in a stammerer, to be borne in mind and followed.

168. Do you approve of a carpet in a nursery?

No; unless it be a small piece for the child to roll upon. A carpet harbors dirt and dust, which dust is constantly floating about the atmosphere, and thus making it impure for him to breathe. The truth of this may easily be ascertained by entering a darkened room, where a ray of sunshine is struggling through a crevice in the shutters. If the floor of a nursery must be covered, let drugget be laid down; as this every morning may be taken up and shaken. The less furniture a nursery contains the better; for much furniture obstructs the free circulation of the air, and, moreover, prevents a child from taking proper exercise in the room.

169. Supposing there is not a fire in the nursery grate, ought the chimney to be stopped to prevent a draught in the room?

Certainly not. I consider the use of a chimney to be twofold: first, to carry off the smoke; and secondly (which is of quite as much importance), to ventilate the 151room, by carrying off the impure air, loaded as it is with carbonic acid gas, the refuse of respiration. The chimney, therefore, should never, either winter or summer, be allowed for one moment to be stopped. This is important advice, and requires the strict supervision of every mother, as servants will, if they have the chance, stop all chimneys that have no fires in the grates.

EXERCISE.

170. Do you approve, during the summer months, of sending a child out BEFORE breakfast?

I do, when the weather will permit, and provided the wind be neither in an easterly nor in a northeasterly direction: indeed, he can scarcely be too much in the open air. He must not be allowed to stand about draughts or about entries, and the only way to prevent him doing so is for the mother herself to accompany the nurse. She will then kill two birds with one stone, as she will, by doing so, benefit her own as well as her child’s health.

171. Ought a child to be early put on his feet to walk?

No: let him learn to walk himself. He ought to be put upon a carpet; and it will be found that when he is strong enough, he will hold by a chair, and will stand alone: when he can do so, and attempts to walk, he should then be supported. You must, on first putting him upon his feet, be guided by his own wishes. He will, as soon as he is strong enough to walk, have the inclination to do so. When he has the inclination and the strength, it will be folly to restrain him; if he has neither the inclination nor the strength, it will be absurd to urge him on. Rely, therefore, to a certain extent, upon the inclination of the child himself. Self-reliance cannot be too early taught him, and, indeed, every one else. In the 152generality of instances, however, a child is put on his feet too soon, and the bones at that tender age, being very flexible, bend, causing bowed and bandy legs; and the knees, being weak, approximate too closely together, and thus they become knock-kneed.

This advice of not putting a child early on his feet, I must strongly insist on, as so many mothers are so ridiculously ambitious that their young ones should walk early, that they should walk before other children have attempted to do so, have frequently caused the above lamentable deformities!

172. Do you approve of perambulators?

I do not, for two reasons: first, because when a child is strong enough, he had better walk as much as he will; and, secondly, the motion is not so good, and the muscles are not so much put in action, and consequently cannot be so well developed, as when he is carried. A perambulator is very apt to make a child stoop, and to make him both crooked and round-shouldered. He is cramped by being so long in one position. It is painful to notice a babe a few months old in one of these new-fangled carriages. His little head is bobbing about, first on one side and then on the other—at one moment it is dropping on his chest, the next it is forcibly jolted behind: he looks, and doubtless feels, wretched and uncomfortable. Again, these perambulators are dangerous in crowded thoroughfares. They are a public nuisance, inasmuch as they are wheeled against and between people’s legs, and are a fruitful source of the breaking of shins, of the spraining of ankles, of the crushing of corns, and of the ruffling of the tempers of the foot-passengers who unfortunately come within their reach; while, in all probability, the gaping nurses are staring another way, and every way indeed but the right!

Besides, in very cold weather, or in a very young infant, the warmth of the nurse’s body, while he is being carried, 153helps to keep him warm, he himself being naturally cold. In point of fact, the child, while being borne in the nurse’s arms, reposes on the nurse, warm and supported as though he were in a nest! While, on the other hand, if he be in a perambulator, he is cold and unsupported, looking the very picture of misery, seeking everywhere for rest and comfort, and finding none!

A nurse’s arm, then, is the only proper carriage for a young child to take exercise on. She ought to change about, first carrying him on the one arm, and then on the other. Nursing him on one arm only might give his body a twist on one side, and thus might cause deformity.

When he is old enough to walk, and is able properly to support the weight of his own neck and back, then there will be no objection, provided it be not in a crowded thoroughfare, to his riding occasionally in a perambulator; but when he is older still, and can sit either a donkey or a pony, such exercise will be far more beneficial, and will afford him much greater pleasure.

173. Supposing it to be wet under foot, but dry above, do you then approve of sending a child out?

If the wind be neither in the east nor the northeast, and if the air be not damp, let him be well wrapped up and be sent out. If he be laboring under an inflammation of the lungs, however slight, or if he be just recovering from one, it would, of course, be highly improper. In the management of a child, we must take care neither to coddle nor to expose him unnecessarily, as both are dangerous.

Never send a child out to walk in a fog; he will, if you do, be almost sure to catch cold. It would be much safer to send him out in the rain than in fog; though neither the one nor the other would be desirable.

174. How many times a day, in fine weather, ought a child to be sent out?

154Let him be sent out as often as it be possible. If a child lived more in the open air than he is wont to do, he would neither be so susceptible of disease, nor would he suffer so much from teething.

175. Supposing the day to be wet, what exercise would you then recommend?

The child ought to run either about a large room or about the hall; and, if it does not rain violently, you should put on his hat and throw up the window, taking care while the window is open that he does not stand still.

Do not on any account allow him to sit any length of time at a table, amusing himself with books, etc.; let him be acting and stirring, that his blood may freely circulate as it ought to do, and that his muscles may be well developed. I would rather see him actively engaged in mischief, than sitting still, doing nothing. He ought to be put on the carpet, and should then be tumbled and rolled about, to make the blood bound merrily through the vessels, to stir up the liver, to promote digestion, and to open the bowels. The misfortune of it is, the present race of nurses are so stuck out with crinoline, that they are not able to stoop properly, and thus to have a good game at romps with their little charges.

176. Supposing it to be winter, and the weather to be very cold, would you still send a child out?

Decidedly, provided he be well wrapped up. The cold will brace and strengthen him. Cold weather is the finest tonic in the world.

In frosty weather, the roads being slippery, when you send him out to walk, put a pair of large, old woolen stockings over his boots or shoes. This will not only keep his feet and his legs warm, but it will prevent him from falling down and hurting himself. While thus equipped, he may even walk on a slide of ice without falling down.

155A child, in the winter time, requires, to keep him warm, plenty of flannel and plenty of food, plenty of fresh and genuine milk, and plenty of water in his tub to wash him in a morning, plenty of exercise and plenty of play, and then he may brave the frosty air. It is the coddled, the half-washed, and the half-starved child (half-washed and half-starved from either the mother’s ignorance or from the mother’s timidity), that is the chilly starveling,—catching cold at every breath of wind, and every time he either walks or is carried out,—a puny, skinny, scraggy, scare-crow, more dead than alive, and more fit for his grave than for the rough world he will have to struggle in!

AMUSEMENTS.

177. Have you any remarks to make on the amusements of a child?

Let the amusements of a child be as much as possible out of doors; let him spend the greater part of every day in the open air; let him exert himself as much as he pleases, his feelings will tell him when to rest and when to begin again; let him be what nature intended him to be—a happy, laughing, joyous child. Do not let him be always poring over books.

“Books! ’tis a dull and endless strife,

Come, hear the woodland linnet!

How sweet his music! On my life

There’s more of wisdom in it.

And hark! how blithe the throstle sings!

He, too, is no mean preacher:

Come forth into the light of things,—

Let Nature be your teacher.

156She has a world of ready wealth,

Our minds and hearts to bless,—

Spontaneous wisdom breathed by health,

Truth breathed by cheerfulness.

One impulse from a vernal wood,

May teach you more of man,

Of moral evil and of good,

Than all the sages can.”

He ought to be encouraged to engage in those sports wherein the greatest number of muscles are brought into play. For instance, to play at ball, or hoop, or football, to play at horses, to run to certain distances and back; and, if a girl, to amuse herself with a skipping-rope, such being excellent exercise—

“By sports like these are all their cares beguiled,—

The sports of children satisfy the child.”

Every child, where it be practicable, should have a small plot of ground to cultivate, that he may dig and delve in, and make dirt-pies if he choose. Children, nowadays, unfortunately, are not allowed to soil their hands and their fine clothes. For my own part, I dislike such model children; let a child be natural—let him, as far as is possible, choose his own sports. Do not be always interfering with his pursuits, and be finding fault with him. Remember, what may be amusing to you may be distasteful to him. I do not, of course, mean but that you should constantly have a watchful eye over him; yet do not let him see that he is under restraint or surveillance; if you do, you will never discover his true character and inclinations. Not only so, but do not dim the bright sunshine of his early life by constantly checking and thwarting him. Tupper beautifully says:

“And check not a child in his merriment,—

Should not his morning be sunny?”

157When, therefore, he is either in the nursery or in the play-ground, let him shout and riot and romp about as much as he pleases. His lungs and his muscles want developing, and his nerves require strengthening; and how can such be accomplished unless you allow them to be developed and strengthened by natural means?

The nursery is a child’s own domain; it is his castle, and he should be Lord Paramount therein. If he choose to blow a whistle, or to spring a rattle, or to make any other hideous noise, which to him is sweet music, he should be allowed, without let or hindrance, to do so. If any members of the family have weak nerves, let them keep at a respectful distance.

A child who never gets into mischief must be either sly, or delicate, or idiotic; indeed, the system of many persons in bringing up children is likely to make them either the one or the other. The present plan of training children is nearly all work (books), and very little play. Play, and plenty of it, is necessary to the very existence of a child.

A boy not partial to mischief, innocent mischief, and play, is unnatural; he is a man before his time, he is a nuisance, he is disagreeable to himself and to every one around. “A boy not fond of fun and frolic may possibly make a tolerable man, but he is an intolerable boy.”