An Ounce of Prevention
Reading edition
When first the Flu our old town hit I said I'd keep from getting; So I went home and with great care I shut out drafts and shut out air. I sprinkled sulphur in my shoes, Then loaded up on blockade booze, Some calomel and "C.C." pills, Then castor oil up to my gills. Each hour on soda I did feast; I swallowed cakes of Fleischmann's yeast; I ate ten onions, mighty nigh, Then drank a slug of Good Old Rye; Some asafoet'da round my neck, Then took quinine, about a peck. To keep from feeling all forlorn I fraternized with Barleycorn; Then aspirin, say twenty grains, And codeine to keep off pains. I chewed tobacco, smoked it, too, Then took a dip of Mountain Dew. I crawled in bed to get a rest, Vick's Vaporub smeared on my chest. I changed to woolen underduds And carried 'round two Irish spuds; I sprayed and gargled, wore a mask, Snuffed Listerine, then tried my flask. I felt my pulse; at tongue a look, And then my temper'ture I took. But strange to say quite sick I grew— The doctor says I've got the Flu! I guess he's right, but this is sure: Right now I need the likker cure.
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I wonder if I'd stayed up town, Cut out the dope, kept worry down, Stayed right at work, not had a drink— Would I have Flu? What do you think?
