The Illiterate DigestDEFENDING MY SOUP PLATE POSITIONReading editionChapter navigation60 reading sectionsGo to chapterChoose a chapter…Front matterTWO LETTERS AND A DEDICATIONILLUSTRATIONSINTRODUCTIONBREAKING INTO THE WRITING GAMEBREAKING INTO THE WRITING GAMESETTLING THE CORSET PROBLEM OF THIS COUNTRYSETTLING THE CORSET PROBLEM OF THIS COUNTRYHOW TO TELL A BUTLER, AND OTHER ETIQUETTEHOW TO TELL A BUTLER, AND OTHER ETIQUETTEDEFENDING MY SOUP PLATE POSITIONDEFENDING MY SOUP PLATE POSITIONHELPING THE GIRLS WITH THEIR INCOME TAXESTHE GREATEST DOCUMENT IN AMERICAN LITERATURETHE GREATEST DOCUMENT IN AMERICAN LITERATUREPROSPECTUS FOR “THE REMODELED CHEWING GUM CORPORATION”PROSPECTUS FOR “THE REMODELED CHEWING GUM CORPORATION”INSIDE STUFF ON THE TOTAL ECLIPSEINSIDE STUFF ON THE TOTAL ECLIPSEIT’S TIME SOMEBODY SAID A WORD FOR CALIFORNIAIT’S TIME SOMEBODY SAID A WORD FOR CALIFORNIAPROMOTING THE OCEANLESS ONE PIECE SUITPROMOTING THE OCEANLESS ONE PIECE SUITWARNING TO JOKERS: LAY OFF THE PRINCEWARNING TO JOKERS: LAY OFF THE PRINCESPRING IS HERE, WITH POEMS AND BATH TUBSSPRING IS HERE, WITH POEMS AND BATH TUBSMR. FORD AND OTHER POLITICAL SELF-STARTERSWILSON COULD LAUGH AT A JOKE ON HIMSELFWILSON COULD LAUGH AT A JOKE ON HIMSELFA JOB WITH THE JAMES FAMILYA JOB WITH THE JAMES FAMILYLET’S TREAT OUR PRESIDENTS LIKE HUMAN BEINGSWHAT WITH FRUIT JUICE AND CONSOMME, IT WAS A WILD PARTYWHAT WITH FRUIT JUICE AND CONSOMME, IT WAS A WILD PARTYWHAT WE NEED IS MORE FRED STONESWHAT WE NEED IS MORE FRED STONESONE OIL LAWYER PER BARRELONE OIL LAWYER PER BARRELANOTHER HOT CONFESSION IN THE OIL SCANDALANOTHER HOT CONFESSION IN THE OIL SCANDALTHE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTHWELL, WHO IS PRUNES?WELL, WHO IS PRUNES?POLITICS GETTING READY TO JELLTWO LONG LOST FRIENDS FOUND AT LASTTWO LONG LOST FRIENDS FOUND AT LASTTHEY NOMINATED EVERYBODY BUT THE FOUR HORSEMENTHEY NOMINATED EVERYBODY BUT THE FOUR HORSEMENIN THE MIDST OF A 7 YEAR HITCHIN THE MIDST OF A 7 YEAR HITCH“WILL ROGERS JR.” REPORTS THE CONVENTION FOR HIS FATHER, WORN OUT BY LONG SERVICE“WILL ROGERS JR.” REPORTS THE CONVENTION FOR HIS FATHER, WORN OUT BY LONG SERVICEROPING A CRITIC“THE WORLD TOMORROW,” AFTER THE MANNER OF GREAT JOURNALISTS.[B]SETTLING THE AFFAIRS OF THE WORLD IN MY OWN WAYSETTLING THE AFFAIRS OF THE WORLD IN MY OWN WAYA SKINNY DAKOTA KID WHO MADE GOODTAKING THE CURE, BY THE SHORES OF CAT CREEKTAKING THE CURE, BY THE SHORES OF CAT CREEKPrevious chapter ←HOW TO TELL A BUTLER, AND OTHER ETIQUETTENext chapter →DEFENDING MY SOUP PLATE POSITIONAll chapters and sections (60)Opening pagesFront matterOther sectionsTWO LETTERS AND A DEDICATIONILLUSTRATIONSINTRODUCTIONBREAKING INTO THE WRITING GAMEBREAKING INTO THE WRITING GAMESETTLING THE CORSET PROBLEM OF THIS COUNTRYSETTLING THE CORSET PROBLEM OF THIS COUNTRYHOW TO TELL A BUTLER, AND OTHER ETIQUETTEHOW TO TELL A BUTLER, AND OTHER ETIQUETTEDEFENDING MY SOUP PLATE POSITIONDEFENDING MY SOUP PLATE POSITIONHELPING THE GIRLS WITH THEIR INCOME TAXESTHE GREATEST DOCUMENT IN AMERICAN LITERATURETHE GREATEST DOCUMENT IN AMERICAN LITERATUREPROSPECTUS FOR “THE REMODELED CHEWING GUM CORPORATION”PROSPECTUS FOR “THE REMODELED CHEWING GUM CORPORATION”INSIDE STUFF ON THE TOTAL ECLIPSEINSIDE STUFF ON THE TOTAL ECLIPSEIT’S TIME SOMEBODY SAID A WORD FOR CALIFORNIAIT’S TIME SOMEBODY SAID A WORD FOR CALIFORNIAPROMOTING THE OCEANLESS ONE PIECE SUITPROMOTING THE OCEANLESS ONE PIECE SUITWARNING TO JOKERS: LAY OFF THE PRINCEWARNING TO JOKERS: LAY OFF THE PRINCESPRING IS HERE, WITH POEMS AND BATH TUBSSPRING IS HERE, WITH POEMS AND BATH TUBSMR. FORD AND OTHER POLITICAL SELF-STARTERSWILSON COULD LAUGH AT A JOKE ON HIMSELFWILSON COULD LAUGH AT A JOKE ON HIMSELFA JOB WITH THE JAMES FAMILYA JOB WITH THE JAMES FAMILYLET’S TREAT OUR PRESIDENTS LIKE HUMAN BEINGSWHAT WITH FRUIT JUICE AND CONSOMME, IT WAS A WILD PARTYWHAT WITH FRUIT JUICE AND CONSOMME, IT WAS A WILD PARTYWHAT WE NEED IS MORE FRED STONESWHAT WE NEED IS MORE FRED STONESONE OIL LAWYER PER BARRELONE OIL LAWYER PER BARRELANOTHER HOT CONFESSION IN THE OIL SCANDALANOTHER HOT CONFESSION IN THE OIL SCANDALTHE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTHWELL, WHO IS PRUNES?WELL, WHO IS PRUNES?POLITICS GETTING READY TO JELLTWO LONG LOST FRIENDS FOUND AT LASTTWO LONG LOST FRIENDS FOUND AT LASTTHEY NOMINATED EVERYBODY BUT THE FOUR HORSEMENTHEY NOMINATED EVERYBODY BUT THE FOUR HORSEMENIN THE MIDST OF A 7 YEAR HITCHIN THE MIDST OF A 7 YEAR HITCH“WILL ROGERS JR.” REPORTS THE CONVENTION FOR HIS FATHER, WORN OUT BY LONG SERVICE“WILL ROGERS JR.” REPORTS THE CONVENTION FOR HIS FATHER, WORN OUT BY LONG SERVICEROPING A CRITIC“THE WORLD TOMORROW,” AFTER THE MANNER OF GREAT JOURNALISTS.[B]SETTLING THE AFFAIRS OF THE WORLD IN MY OWN WAYSETTLING THE AFFAIRS OF THE WORLD IN MY OWN WAYA SKINNY DAKOTA KID WHO MADE GOODTAKING THE CURE, BY THE SHORES OF CAT CREEKTAKING THE CURE, BY THE SHORES OF CAT CREEKI WOULD INVENT A TRIANGLE SHAPE SLIDE THAT COULD BE PUSHED UNDER THE PLATE◇← HOW TO TELL A BUTLER, AND OTHER ETIQUETTEDEFENDING MY SOUP PLATE POSITION →
