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The Humour of America

OUR TWO OPINIONS.

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US two wuz boys when we fell out,—

Nigh to the age uv my youngest now;

Don’t rec’lect what ’t wuz about,

Some small deeff’rence, I’ll allow.

Lived next neighbours twenty years,

A-hatin’ each other, me ’nd Jim,—

He havin’ his opinyin uv me,

’nd I havin’ my opinyin uv him.

Grew up together ’nd wouldn’t speak,

Courted sisters, ’nd marr’d ’em, too;

’tended same meetin’-house oncet a week,

A-hatin’ each other through ’nd through!

But when Abe Linkern asked the West

F’r soldiers, we answered,—me ’nd Jim,—

He havin’ his opinyin uv me,

’nd I havin’ my opinyin uv him.

But down in Tennessee one night

Ther wuz sound uv firin’ fur away,

’nd the sergeant allowed ther’d be a fight

With the Johnnie Rebs some time nex’ day;

’nd as I wuz thinkin’ uv Lizzie ’nd home

Jim stood afore me, long ’nd slim,—

He havin’ his opinyin uv me,

’nd I havin’ my opinyin uv him.

Illustration from The Humour of America Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists

“US TWO SHUCK HANDS.”

Seemed like we knew ther wuz goin’ to be

Serious trouble f’r me ’nd him;

Us two shuck hands, did Jim ’nd me,

But never a word from me or Jim!

290He went his way ’nd I went mine,

’nd into the battle’s roar went we,—

I havin’ my opinyin uv Jim,

’nd he havin’ his opinyin uv me.

Jim never come back from the war again,

But I hain’t forgot that last, last night

When, waitin’ f’r orders, us two men

Made up ’nd shuck hands, afore the fight.

291’nd after it all, it’s soothin’ to know

That here I be ’nd yonder’s Jim,—

He havin’ his opinyin uv me,

’nd I havin’ my opinyin uv him.

Eugene Field.

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