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The Humour of America

DUET FOR THE BREAKFAST-TABLE.

Reading edition

ROMANTIC HUSBAND.

THOU art my love! I have none other,

But only thee—but only thee.

SENSIBLE WIFE.

Now, Charles, do stop this silly bother,

And drink your tea—your cooling tea.

ROMANTIC HUSBAND.

Your eyes are diamonds, gems refined,

Your teeth are pearl, your hair is gold.

SENSIBLE WIFE.

Oh, nonsense now! I know you’ll find

Your cutlets cold—exceeding cold.

ROMANTIC HUSBAND.

Where’er thou art, my passions burn;

I envy not the monarch’s crown.

SENSIBLE WIFE.

Put some hot water in the urn,

And toast this bread, and toast it brown.

ROMANTIC HUSBAND.

Had I Golconda’s wealth, I say

’Twere thine at will—’twere thine at will.

SENSIBLE WIFE.

Then let me have a cheque to pay

The dry-goods bill—that tedious bill!

386ROMANTIC HUSBAND.

Oh, heed it not, my trembling flower;

If want should press us, let it come.

SENSIBLE WIFE.

And, apropos, the bill for flour;

Is quite a sum—an unpaid sum.

ROMANTIC HUSBAND.

So rich in love, so rich in joy,

No change our cup of bliss can spill.

SENSIBLE WIFE.

Now do be quiet! You destroy

My cambric frill—my well-starched frill.

ROMANTIC HUSBAND.

Ha! senseless, soulless, loveless girl,

To sympathy and passion dead!

SENSIBLE WIFE.

A moment since I was your “pearl,”

Your “only love”—at least you said.

ROMANTIC HUSBAND.

I spoke it in the bitter jest

Of one his own deep sadness scorning.

SENSIBLE WIFE.

Well, candour is at all times best;

I wish you, sir, a fair good morning!

Charles Graham Halpine.

387

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