Part 4 — UPON LESBIA—ARGUING
Reading edition
My Lesbia, I will not deny, Bewitches me completely; She has the usual beaming eye, And smiles upon me sweetly: But she has an unseemly way Of contradicting what I say.
And, though I am her closest friend, And find her fascinating, I cannot cordially commend Her method of debating: Her logic, though she is divine, Is singularly feminine.
Her reasoning is full of tricks, And butterfly suggestions, I know no point to which she sticks, She begs the simplest questions; And, when her premises are strong, She always draws her inference wrong.
Broad, liberal views on men and things She will not hear a word of; To prove herself correct she brings Some instance she has heard of; The argument ad hominem Appears her favorite strategem.
Old Socrates, with sage replies To questions put to suit him, Would not, I think, have looked so wise With Lesbia to confute him; He would more probably have bade Xantippe hasten to his aid.
Ah! well, my fair philosopher, With clear brown eyes that glisten So sweetly, that I much prefer To look at them than listen, Preach me your sermon: have your way, The voice is yours, whate'er you say.
Alfred Cochrane [1865-