Volume 12 / Act 4 — SCENE II

Editorial room of the Union. Enter BOLZ through the door on the left, directly afterward MILLER.

BOLZ (at middle door).

In here with the table!

MILLER (carries small table, all set, with wine-bottles, glasses and plates, to the foreground on the left; brings up five chairs while he speaks).

Mr. Piepenbrink sends his regards, with the message that the wine is yellow-seal, and that, if the Doctor drinks any healths, he must not forget Mr. Piepenbrink's health. He was very jolly, the stout gentleman. And Madam Piepenbrink reminded him that he ought to subscribe for the Union. He commissioned me to see to it.

BOLZ (who meanwhile has been turning over papers at the work-table on the right, rising).

Let's have some wine!

[MILLER pours some in a glass.]

In honor of the worthy vintner! [Drinks.]

I treated him scandalously, but he has proved true-hearted. Tell him his health was not forgotten. There, take this bottle along!—Now, get out!

[Exit MILLER. BOLZ opening the door on the left.]

Come, gentlemen, today I carry out my promise.

[Enter KÄMPE, BELLMAUS, KÖRNER.]

This is the lunch I agreed to give. And now, my charming day-flies, put as much rose-color into your cheeks and your humors as your wits will let you. [Pouring out.] The great victory is won; the Union has celebrated one of the noblest of triumphs; in ages still to come belated angels will say with awe: "Those were glorious days," and so on—see continuation in today's paper. Before we sit down, the first toast—

KÄMPE. The member-elect—

BOLZ.

No, our first toast is to the mother of all, the great power which produces members—the newspaper, may she prosper!

ALL.

Hurrah! [Clink glasses.]

BOLZ.

Hurrah! And secondly, long live—hold on, the member himself is not here yet.

KÄMPE.

Here he comes.

Enter OLDENDORF.

BOLZ.

The member from our venerable town, editor-in-chief and professor, journalist, and good fellow, who is angry just now because behind his back this and that got into the paper—hurrah for him!

ALL.

Hurrah!

OLDENDORF (in a friendly tone.)

I thank you, gentlemen.

BOLZ (drawing OLDENDORF to the front).

And you are no longer vexed with us?

OLDENDORF.

Your intention was good, but it was a great indiscretion.

BOLZ.

Forget all about it! (Aloud.) Here, take your glass and sit down with us. Don't be proud, young statesman! Today you are one of us. Well, here sits the editorial staff! Where is worthy Mr. Henning—where tarries our owner, printer and publisher, Gabriel Henning?

KÄMPE.

I met him a little while ago on the stairs. He crept by me as shyly as though he were some one who had been up to mischief.

BOLZ.

Probably he feels as Oldendorf does—he is again not pleased with the attitude of the paper.

MILLER (thrusting in his head).

The papers and the mail!

BOLZ.

Over there! [MILLER enters, lays the papers on the work-table.]

MILLER.

Here is the Coriolanus. There is something in it about our paper. The errand-boy of the Coriolanus grinned at me scornfully, and recommended me to look over the article.

BOLZ.

Give it here! Be quiet, Romans, Coriolanus speaks.—All ye devils, what does that mean? [Reads.] "On the best of authority we have just been informed that a great change is imminent in the newspaper affairs of our province. Our opponent, the Union, will cease to direct her wild attacks against all that is high and holy."—This high and holy means Blumenberg.—"The ownership is said to have gone over into other hands, and there is a sure prospect that we shall be able from now on to greet as an ally this widely read sheet." How does that taste to you, gentlemen?

MILLER} Thunder! KÄMPE.}(All together.) Nonsense! BELLMAUS.} It's a lie!

OLDENDORF.

It's another of Blumenberg's reckless inventions.

BOLZ.

There is something behind it all. Go and get me Gabriel Henning. [Exit MILLER.] This owner has played the traitor; we have been poisoned. [Springing up.] And this is the feast of the Borgia! Presently the misericordia will enter and sing our dirge. Do me the favor at least to eat up the oysters before it be too late.

OLDENDORF (who has seized the newspaper.)

Evidently this news is only an uncertain rumor. Henning will tell us there is no truth in it. Stop seeing ghosts, and sit down with us.

BOLZ (seating himself).

I sit down, not because I put faith in your words, but because I don't wish to do injustice to the lunch. Get hold of Henning; he must give an account of himself.

OLDENDORF.

But, as you heard, he is not at home.

BOLZ (zealously eating).

Oh, thou wilt have a fearful awakening, little Orsini! Bellmaus, pour me out some wine. But if the story be not true, if this Coriolanus have lied, by the purple in this glass be it sworn I will be his murderer! The grimmest revenge that ever an injured journalist took shall fall on his head; he shall bleed to death from pin-pricks; every poodle in the street shall look on him scornfully and say: "Fie, Coriolanus, I wouldn't take a bite at you even if you were a sausage." [A knock is heard. BOLZ lays down his knife.] Memento mori! There are our grave-diggers. The last oyster, now, and then farewell thou lovely world!

Enter JUDGE SCHWARZ and SENDEN from the door on the left; the door remains open.

SCHWARZ.

Obedient servant, gentlemen!

SENDEN.

Your pardon if we disturb you.

BOLZ (remaining seated at the table).

Not in the least. This is our regular luncheon, contracted for a whole year—fifty oysters and two bottles daily for each member of the staff. Whoever buys the newspaper has to furnish it.

SCHWARZ.

What brings us here, Professor, is a communication which Mr. Henning should have been the first to make to you. He preferred handing over the task to me.

OLDENDORF.

I await your communication.

SCHWARZ.

Mr. Henning has, from yesterday on, transferred to me by sale all rights pertaining to him as owner of the newspaper Union.

OLDENDORF.

To you, Judge?

SCHWARZ.

I acknowledge that I have bought it merely as accredited agent of a third person. Here is the deed; it contains no secrets. [Hands him a paper.]

OLDENDORF (looking through it, to BOLZ).

It is drawn up by a notary in due form—sold for thirty thousand thalers. [Agitation among the staff-members.] Let me get to the bottom of the matter. Is this change of owner also to be connected with a change in the political attitude of the sheet?

SENDEN (coming forward).

Certainly, Professor, that was the intention in making the purchase.

OLDENDORF.

Do I possibly see in you the new owner?

SENDEN.

Not that, but I have the honor to be a friend of his. You yourself, as well as these gentlemen, have a right to demand the fulfilment of your contracts. Your contracts provide, I understand, for six months' notice. It goes without saying that you continue to draw your salary until the expiration of this term.

BOLZ (rising).

You are very kind, Mr. von Senden. Our contracts empower us to edit the paper as we see fit, and to control its tone and its party affiliations. For the next half-year, therefore, we shall not only continue to draw our salaries but also to conduct the paper for the benefit of the party to which you have not the honor to belong.

SENDEN (angrily).

We'll find a way to prevent that!

OLDENDORF.

Calm yourself. That kind of work would scarcely be worthy of us. If such are the circumstances, I announce that I resign the editorship from today, and release you from all obligations to me.

BOLZ.

I don't mind. I make the same announcement.

BELLMAUS.

KÄMPE}(together). We too!

KÖRNER}

SENDEN (to SCHWARZ).

You can testify that the gentlemen voluntarily renounce their rights.

BOLZ (to the staff).

Hold on, gentlemen, don't be too generous. It is all right for you to take no further part in editing the paper if your friends withdraw. But why abandon your pecuniary claims on the new owner?

BELLMAUS.

I'd rather take nothing at all from them; I'll follow your example.

BOLZ (stroking him).

Noble sentiment, my son! We'll make our way in the world together. What do you think of a hand-organ, Bellmaus! We 'll take it to fairs and sing your songs through. I'll turn and you'll sing.

OLDENDORF.

Since the new owner of the paper is not one of you, you will, in concluding this transaction, find the question only natural—To whom have we ceded our rights?

SENDEN.

The present owner of the paper is—

Enter COLONEL through side door on the left.

OLDENDORF (starting back in alarm).

Colonel!

BOLZ.

Ah, now it is becoming high tragedy!

COLONEL.

First of all, Professor, be assured that I have nothing to do with this whole affair, and merely come at the request of the purchaser. Not until I came here, did I know anything of what was going on. I hope you will take my word for that.

BOLZ.

Well, I find this game unseemly, and I insist on being told who this new owner is who mysteriously hides behind different persons!

Enter ADELAIDE from the side door, left.

ADELAIDE.

He stands before you!

BOLZ.

I should just like to faint.

BELLMAUS.

That is a heavenly joke!

ADELAIDE (bowing).

How do you do, gentlemen! [To the staff.] Am I right in assuming that these gentlemen have hitherto been connected with editing the paper?

BELLMAUS (eagerly).

Yes, Miss Runeck! Mr. Kämpe for leading articles, Mr. Körner for the French and English correspondence, and I for theatre, music, fine arts, and miscellaneous.

ADELAIDE.

I shall be much pleased if your principles will let you continue devoting your talents to my newspaper. [The three members of the staff bow.]

BELLMAUS (laying his hand on his heart).

Miss Runeck, under your editorship I'll go to the ends of the world!

ADELAIDE (smiling and politely).

Ah, no, merely into that room.

[Points to the door on the right.]

I need half an hour to collect my thoughts for my new activities.

BELLMAUS (while departing).

That's the best thing I ever heard!

[BELLMAUS, KÄMPE, KÖRNER leave.]

ADELAIDE.

Professor, you resigned the management of the paper with a readiness which delights me. (Pointedly.) I wish to edit the Union in my own fashion.

[Seizes his hand and leads him to the COLONEL.]

Colonel, he is no longer editor; we have outwitted him; you have your satisfaction.

COLONEL (holding out his arms to him).

Come, Oldendorf! For what happened I have been sorry since the moment we parted.

OLDENDORF.

My honored friend!

ADELAIDE (pointing to the door on the left).

There is some one else in there who wants to take part in the reconciliation. It might be Mr. Gabriel Henning.

IDA appears at the side door.

IDA.

Edward!

[OLDENDORF hurries to the door, IDA meets him, he embraces her. Both leave on the left. The COLONEL follows.]

ADELAIDE (sweetly).

Before asking you, Mr. von Senden, to interest yourself in the editing of the newspaper, I beg you to read through this correspondence which I received as a contribution to my columns.

SENDEN (takes a glance at them).

Miss Runeck, I don't know whose indiscretion—

ADELAIDE.

Fear none on my part. I am a newspaper proprietor, and (with, marked emphasis) shall keep editorial secrets.

[SENDEN bows.]

May I ask for the deed, Judge? And will you gentlemen be kind enough to ease the mind of the vendor as to the outcome of the transaction?

[Mutual bows. SENDEN and SCHWARZ leave.]

ADELAIDE (after a short pause).

Now, Mr. Bolz, what am I going to do about you?

BOLZ.

I am prepared for anything. I am surprised at nothing any more. If some one should go straight off and spend a capital of a hundred millions in painting negroes white with oil-colors, or in making Africa four-cornered, I should not let it astonish me. If I wake up tomorrow as an owl with two tufts of feathers for ears and a mouse in my beak, I will say, "All right," and remember that worse things have happened.

ADELAIDE.

What is the matter with you, Conrad? Are you displeased with me?

BOLZ.

With you? You have been generous as ever; only too generous. And it would all have been fine, if only this whole scene had been impossible. That fellow Senden!

ADELAIDE.

We have seen the last of him! Conrad, I'm one of the party!

BOLZ.

Hallelujah! I hear countless angels blowing on their trumpets! I'll stay with the Union!

ADELAIDE.

About that I am no longer the one to decide. For I have still a confession to make to you. I, too, am not the real owner of the newspaper.

BOLZ.

You are not? Now, by all the gods, I am at my wit's end. I'm beginning not to care who this owner is. Be he man, will-of-the-wisp, or the devil Beelzebub in person, I bid him defiance.

ADELAIDE.

He is a kind of a will-of-the-wisp, a little something of a devil, and from top to toe a great rogue. For, Conrad, my friend, beloved of my youth, it is you yourself.

[Hands him the deed.]

BOLZ (stupefied for a moment, reads).

"Ceded to Conrad Bolz"—correct! So that would be a sort of gift. Can't be accepted, much too little!

[Throws the paper aside.] Prudence be gone!

[Falls on his knees before ADELAIDE.]

Here I kneel, Adelaide! What I am saying I don't know in my joy, for the whole room is dancing round with me. If you will take me for your husband, you will do me the greatest favor in the world. If you don't want me, box my ears and send me off!

ADELAIDE (bending down to him).

I do want you! (Kissing him.) This was the cheek!

BOLZ.

And these are the lips.

[Kisses her; they remain in an embrace; short pause.]

Enter COLONEL, IDA, OLDENDORF.

COLONEL (in amazement, at the door).

What is this?

BOLZ.

Colonel, it takes place under editorial sanction.

COLONEL.

Adelaide, what do I see?

ADELAIDE (stretching out her hand to the COLONEL).

Dear friend, I'm betrothed to a journalist!

[As IDA and OLDENDORF from either side hasten to the pair, the curtain falls]

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[Footnote 1: Permission S. Hirzel, Leipzig.]

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