Coll. [aside.] It works I find; Sir Harry's Thought was admirable— Yes, Madam, your Ladyship made such fine Encomiums on Matrimony, with so much Rhetorick, and force of Reason, that you have persuaded me into that comfortable State.

La. Rod. I persuade you, did I use any Arguments to persuade you to't. [Aside.] How he tortures me; but I'll be calm—Have I seen the Lady, Collonel; did she ever appear in Company; pray how is she built.

Col. Built as other Women are, Madam; she has her Gun-Room, her Steerage, her Fore-Castle, her Quarter-Deck, her Great-Cabbin, and her Poop; as for her good Qualities, few Women care to hear each other prais'd; but I'll tell you what Imperfections she has not: She is no proud conceited haughty Dame, that tow'rs over Mankind with an Estate; no vain Coquet, that loves a Croud of Followers, invites and smiles, that drills 'em to admire her; then basely, like a false dissembling Crocodile, prevaricates, and jilts their well-meant Passion.

La. Rod. Hum!

Col. She's rich and beautiful, yet humble too, thinks herself not the Phoenix o' the Age, nor seems surpriz'd, or mortify'd, to find Ladies a multitude that far excel her.

La. Rod. Very well.

Col. In short, She has Sense to know a Gentleman that offers Love sincere, whose Character maintains his just Pretensions, ought to be treated with the like Regard; and that a faithful and a tender Husband sufficiently repays the Dross of Fortune.

La. Rod..[Aside.] He has drawn me to the Life, but I'll return it— Such humble things make admirable Wives, and Women when they marry hectoring Blades, must buy their Peace with wond'rous Condescension, but when a Lady's unexception'd Graces, artless, immaculate, and universal, impow'r her to select thro' ev'ry Clime; nay, when she grasps the fickle Pow'r of Fortune, and is to raise the Man she stoops to wed, Lovers must sue on more submissive Terms; no Task's too hard when Heav'n's the Reward. I have a Lover too, no blust'ring Red-Coat, that thinks at the first Onset he must plunder, bullies his Mistresses, and beats his Men; but when two Armies meet in Line of Battle, your finest Collonels often prove the coolest.

Col. Hah!

La. Rod. No Libertine, who infamously vile, burlesques the happiest Order of Mankind; yet when some Hit shall probably present, can play the Courtier, to promote his Int'rest, and fondly press what his Soul starts to think on.

Col. [Aside.] The Woman speaks truth, by Jupiter.

La. Rod. In short, he's humble too, so very humble, he's shockt, and startles at his high-plac'd Love: He has Wit and Breeding, Virtue, Birth and Fortune, and yet no spark of Pride appears throughout him, but when I kindle it with my Commands; nor does he serve, as 'tis his Duty only, but smiles, prepares, is eager for my Orders, and flies to the Obedience I require.

Col. Take him, take him. Madam, you have found the only Man to fit your purpose—I wou'dn't bate one Inch of my Prerogative for ne'er a mony'd Petticoat in Europe.

La. Rod. Collonel, these flirting Humours misbecome you, and lighten not, but aggravate your Baseness. A Thing how much abhorr'd must he appear, who villanously shall attempt, a Lady, propose, and solemnly pursue a Conquest, when he, long since, by strictest Oaths and Promises, has vow'd, been sworn and plighted to another.

Col. You but surmise, as yet I've made no Contract; you were the only Idol of my Soul, nor did I harbour the least Thought of others, 'till your Pride us'd me with such poor Contempt, 'twas not sufficient to reject my service, but you must bring a Fop to mock my Passion, as if I had been an Animal for sport.

La. Rod. Suppose it true; [Aside.] my Pride wou'd fain suppose it— suppose I us'd you ill too, nay derided you, cou'd you not bear a Flirt from one you lov'd; had you conceiv'd a bright and lasting Flame, and not a Vapour, flashing and extinguish'd, you'd ha' born ten times more. Were I a Man, that knew my strength of Reason, had Sense to ruminate on Women's Frailties, I'd laugh at all their Spleen, despise their Vapours, and since a certain Blessing's the Reward, receive their Humours with unmov'd Philosophy; but to fly off e'er you had well propounded, to leave your Mistress 'cause she try'd your Courage, was pusillanimous, and few'll suppose Valour in Arms breeds Cowardice in Love.

Col. [Aside.] She has struck me dumb, and I'm her Fool again, must tell her all, and supplicate her pardon, resign my self entirely to her Will, and trust to her to use me as she pleases——Madam——. [Fault'ring.

La. Rod. Collonel!

Enter Sir Harry.

Sir Har. Ha, ha, ha, I never knew a Scene more nicely acted; to see two Lovers pet, and thwart, and wrangle, when they are just expiring for each other.

La. Rod. [Aside.] Has he observ'd us too; how I'm confus'd?

Sir Har. But come, come, you have brought the Play to a conclusion; an Audience wou'd be tir'd to hear more on't.

Col. Why, really, Madam, after all, you have so pretty, so winning an Air, that o' my Conscience, I think, I cou'd marry you.

La. Rod. And, really, Collonel, you have so silly, so sneaking an Air, that o' my Conscience, you'll make an excellent Husband; but I'm afraid, Collonel, you are so tainted with French Principles, having forag'd in that Country, you'll be for Tyranny, and arbitrary Government.

Col. And I'm afraid, Madam, you're so obstinate in English Principles, you'll submit to no Government at all—but the Age has adjusted that matter, for marry'd People now-a-days are the quietest, best natur'd Creatures, and live together like Brother and Sister.

La. Rod. Nay, of marry'd Folks, a Soldier's Wife is the happiest, for half the Year you're in Flanders, and one an't plagu'd with you.

Col. And t'other half we are busie in raising Recruits, and don't much disturb you.

La. Rod. Positively, Collonel, I'll not have abundance of Children.

Col. As few as you please, Madam.

La. Rod. For to be mew'd up in a Nursery, with six dirty Boys, those diminutive Apes, of the Father's dull Species.

Col. And as many trolloping Girls, that are the greatest Drugs in Nature—Well, Madam, since we're come to talk of Procreation, it must be a Match; and tho' I courted you in a careless way, to please your Humour, know now, I do love thee beyond measure; thou shalt have Progeny innumerable; we'll walk to Church with our good Deeds after us; and let 'em be dull or homely, as we must suppose 'em, when they are lawfully begot, there is a Pleasure, a Tenderness in nursing Children, which none but Mothers know.

Sir Har. Why isn't this better now than fretting and fuming at one another; People shou'd marry first, and quarrel afterwards. Oh! here comes pretty Mrs. Lovejoy, and some more of the good Family.

Enter Nicknack, and Mrs. Lovejoy.

Nick. Well, Madam, how does your Ladyship like the Air o' Matrimony.

La. Rod. Extremely well, Mr. Nicknack, methinks my Cousin and you make a most suitable, agreeable Couple, 'tis pity but you were marry'd in earnest.

Mrs. Lov. In earnest, Madam! pray what have we been doing all this while.

Nick. Doing, Precious, does the chatt'ring over a few Words by her Ladyship's spruce Footman, in his fine Head o' Hair signify any thing; don't let your Faith intoxicate you neither.

Mrs. Lov. No, Precious, but the chattering over a few Words by a spruce Parson, in his fine Head o' Hair, which I took care to provide, and put into her Ladyship's Livery, does signifie somewhat.

Nick. Ha!

La. Rod. What Cousin, have you depriv'd me of my Lover?

Mrs. Lov. I knew your Ladyship had a much superiour Aim, but my Ambition soars no higher than being an honest Citizen's Wife.

Nick. Don't it so, Mrs. Ambush? Methinks you ha' soar'd prodigiously in that; do you imagine the Ladies of Billiter-Lane, St. Mary-Ax, and French-Ordinary-Court will think you their equal.

La. Rod. I must tell you, Mr. Nicknack, you have marry'd a Gentlewoman, whose Education equals the best; her Wit and Breeding will refine your City.

Nick. Will her Wit and Breeding new furnish my House, or buy a Thousand Pound Stock in the Hollow-Blade-Company. [To Mrs. Lov.] Well, Madam, since you have plaid me a t'other end o'the Town Trick, I shall prove a t'other end o'the Town Husband, and have nothing to say to you when I can get any body else.

Mrs. Lov. I then, Sir, shall prove a t'other end o'the Town Wife, and find a great many Persons that shall have a great deal to say to me.

Sir Har. [Aside to Mrs. Lov.] Have you kept the Secret, Madam?

Mrs. Lov. No, Sir Harry, But you'll be oblig'd to me to keep another Secret, that you endeavour'd to debauch me.

Sir Har. You gave me such Hopes, Madam, that you'll keep that for your own Reputation. [To Nick.] Your pardon, Sir, for whispering your Lady.

Nick. Sir, I have more Manners than to be jealous, especially of what I don't care two pinches of Snuff for.

Enter Servant.

Ser. Madam, Major Bramble, and his Lady.

La. Rod. Major Bramble, and his Lady!

Sir Har. Oh! my Lady Toss-up, Madam, has marry'd the Major; I met 'em coming from Covent-Garden-Church, with Five hundred Boys after 'em.

Enter Bramble, and Lady Toss-up.

Bram. Hearing, Madam, your Ladyship had almost engag'd your self, I was resolv'd to lay aside all Animosities, and let you know, I have taken to Wife the most incomparable Lady Toss-up.

La. Toss. And that your Ladyship might not engross the whole Sex, I receiv'd the Major, to let you know I have room for one Lover.

La. Rod. I never knew a more surprizing Couple, such a Conjunction's Policy indeed; State-Matches never have regard to Faces. [Noise without.] Bring 'em along, bring 'em along.

Enter Constable, and others, with Totty, Shrimp, and Knapsack.

Col. What means this Intrusion?

Con. Is Sir Harry Sprightly here?

Sir Har. I am he.

Con. An't please your Baronetship, searching some Houses of ill repute, in one of 'em we found these three Gentlemen, [pointing to Totty and Knapsack.] with three Women; and searching a little further, under a fat Whores Petticoats, we found this little Gentleman, [Pointing to Shrimp.] but saying they belong'd to your Honour, we brought 'em hither before we went to the Justice.

Sir Har. They do belong to me; here's a Crown for you to drink; pray leave us.

Tot. If you be Sir Harry Sprightly, my Grand-Mother will be very angry when she hears how these Fellows ha' daub'd my Cloaths.

Sir Har. [To Shrimp.] Was that the Place I order'd you to carry the Boy to.

Tot. Boy, the Gentlewoman I ha' been with, did'n't think mee a Boy.

Sir Har. What Gentlewoman?

Tot. Why, we ha been at the Tavern, where we drunk pure Sack, and saw Madam Betty, the Orange-Lady; and afterwards we went to fine Madam Over-done's stately Lodgings in Vinegar-Yard, where we ha' been as merry as my Grand-Mother, when she gets drunk with Plague-Water. [Feels his Pockets.] Ah Lard! Mr. Shrimp, where's my Hundred Pound Bill?

Sir Har. The Lady you ha' been with, I guess, has pickt your Pocket, and these Fellows are to share it with her.

Tot. She pick my Pocket! why she had a Furbelow-Scarf on.

Sir Har. Come, come, I'll reimburse you, and send you back into the Country; you are not sharp enough for the Profession design'd you; where you may boast among your ignorant Acquaintance, that you have a perfect Knowledge o' the Town, for you have met with two very great Rogues, got drunk at a Tavern, been at a common Brothel, and have had your Pocket pickt of a Hundred Pounds. [To Knapsack.] For you, Friend, the Collonel will take care of you; [To Shrimp.] and for you, Rascal——

Bram. I profess, Sir Harry, a Couple of promising Youths; a Boy shou'd n't be trusted with so much Money; these Persons have seen the World, and know how to employ it——Gentlemen, if your Masters discard you, I'll entertain you. [Aside.] I find by their Phis'nomies they'll be rising Men; and tho' they came sneaking into the World, like other People, and paid a Tax for their Births, they'll go out of it a more sublime way, and cheat the Church of their Burials.

Col. Punish'd they shall be, but 'tis now unseasonable; this Day I'd wish an universal Jubilee——What say you to a Dance, good People, my Lady's Servants are all musical.

A DANCE.

Col. The Wav'ring Nymph, with Pride and Envy sir'd, Ranges the World, to be by all admir'd; Thro' distant Courts, and Climes, she bears her way, And like the Sun, wou'd course 'em in a Day; At length Fatigu'd, she finds those Trifles vain, Meer empty Joys, repeated o'er again: But when by Nature urg'd, weak Fancy fails, And Reason dictating, sound Sense prevails; Wisely she takes the Lover to her Arms, And owns her self subdu'd by Love's more potent Charms.

The EPILOGUE,

Spoken by Mrs. Bradshaw.

Poets of late so scurrilous are grown, Instead of Courting, they abuse the Town: And when an Epilogue entirely pleases, In thundering Jests, it takes the House to pieces; The Pit smiles when the Gallery_'s misus'd, The_ Gallery sniggers when the Pit_'s abus'd_; Side-Boxes wou'd with Ladies Foibles play, } But they themselves stand Buff to all we say, } For nothing strikes them Dead, but—Please to pay: } The Upper Regions angry if pass'd by; But when some wond'rous Joke shall thither fly. Faith, Jack, here's Sense and Learning in this Play, We'll make our Ladies come the Poet's Day. This Author wou'd by gentler Means persuade you, And rather sooth your Follies than degrade you. Parties may rail, and bully Courtiers Graces, But fawning, well-tim'd Ballads, shou'd get Poets Places. Your Absence lately, how we all have mourn'd; Some pray'd, some fasted too, till you return'd: But now those melancholly Days retire, And eager Wit restrain'd, darts fiercer Fire: Favours unlimited we hope you'll grant us, And not let dear-bought Foreigners supplant us. This PLAY, our Author hopes, may please the Town, } Not that He claims a Merit of his own, } But half our_ Comick Bards are dead and gone. } Things scarce attainable more nice appear; Coffee was scarce a Treat, till very dear. To raise his Genius, with some pains he strove, As we in Acting shou'd each Day improve. But as Whims only seem to please this Age, } If Wit and Humour won't your Hearts engage, } We'll have a Moving-Picture on the Stage. }

F I N I S.

(final leaf, recto)

William Andrews Clark Memorial Library: University of California

THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY

General Editors

H. RICHARD ARCHER William Andrews Clark Memorial Library

R.C. BOYD University of Michigan

E.N. HOOKER University of California, Los Angeles

JOHN LOFTIS University of California Los Angeles

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Publications for the fifth year [1950-1951]

(At least six items, most of them from the following list, will be reprinted.)

FRANCES REYNOLDS. (?) An Enquiry Concerning the Principles of Taste, and of the Origin of Our Ideas of Beauty, &c. (1785). Introduction by James L. Clifford.

THOMAS BAKER. The Fine Lady's Airs (1709). Introduction by John Harington Smith.

DANIEL DEFOE. Vindication of the Press (1718). Introduction by Otho Clinton Williams.

JOHN EVELYN. An Apologie for the Royal Party (1659). A Panegyric to Charles the Second (1661). Introduction by Geoffrey Keynes.

CHARLES MACKLIN. Man of the World (1781). Introduction by Dougald MacMillan.

Prefaces to Fiction. Selected and with an Introduction by Benjamin Boyce.

THOMAS SPRAT. Poems.

SIR WILLIAM PETTY. The Advice of W.P. to Mr. Samuel Hartlib for the Advancement of some particular Parts of Learning (1648).

THOMAS GRAY. An Elegy Wrote in a Country Church Yard (1751). (Facsimile of first edition and of portions of Gray's manuscripts of the poem.)

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