THE MILKY WAY

I went to school, like any lad, And learned to read and write: With pencil, books and writing-pad I grew quite erudite. Promoted soon, my Teacher thought I would some day, be great; And so painstakingly he taught Me how to conjugate. And talked to me about the Moon, Of Venus, Saturn, Mars, Till I was rated, very soon, Authority on Stars. A graduate, I searched the skies For orbs unknown before, Determined that I'd specialize In Astronomic lore: But how to buy a telescope And all the charts required? An attick was my only hope Of all the things desired: And so I compromised and bought Binoculars and case, And ev'ry night the Stars I sought At Daly's Burlesque Place. The one, bright, meteoric Flame In all that stellar group, Soon fell for me; then took my name And quit the Burlesque Troupe. But I'm eclipsed! the Satellite That twinkles in the crib, Keeps Mother pinning, day and night, A didy or a bib.