CHAP. V. Symptoms of Education.

Called to the performance of my duty, I bore Miss Morden to “Prospect Point;” the halts made in our short journey convinced me my mistress could ill bear the fatigue of riding. Yet the same gentleness of manner was remarkable, the same engaging spirit of inquiry which made her so estimable to her friends. Seated upon a camp chair, Miss Caroline asked many questions respecting my species. I grazed at her feet in the hope of increasing my little stock of information.

“It was the Spaniards who transported the Ass to America, Sir?” said my mistress, addressing her guardian.

“Yes, my love,” replied Mr. Manton, “and that country seems to have been favourable to this race of animals; they have multiplied in amazing numbers, so much so, that in Quito the owners of the grounds where they are bred, suffer all persons to take away as many as they can, on paying a small acknowledgment in proportion to the number of days their sport lasts.”

“I have read an interesting description of their manner of descending the Andes in South America; it must be terrifying to see them slide down such immense precipices.”

“But the sagacity they display on these occasions, by no means entitle them to the degrading epithets so generally attached to the mention of an Ass. When they approach these descents, they stop of themselves, and should the rider attempt to spur them on, they continue immoveable. They seem at this time ruminating on the danger which lies before them and preparing for the encounter. They not only view the road, but tremble and snort at the danger.”

“I cannot conceive how the rider keeps his seat,” said my mistress.

“He has only to sit firm on his saddle without checking the rein, for the least motion would destroy the equilibrium of the Ass, in which case both must inevitably perish; and indeed the posture of the animal is favourable to his burthen in these descents—Their fore feet being placed as though they were stopping themselves, the hind feet put together, but a little forward; in this attitude they slide down with the swiftness of a meteor, and their address in this rapid descent is truly wonderful; for in their swiftest motion they follow the different windings of the road, as if they had previously settled the route they were to pursue.”

“I really think the animal that conveyed me safely over a pass of this kind would ever after be entitled to my gratitude.”

“Fame, is all that the poor Ass attains,” resumed Mr. Manton. “He gains a kind of reputation, after being long used to these journeys, but I rather doubt that his happiness is increased by this; so true is it, that fame, whether attached to the rational or animal creation, is but an empty name.”

“A mere bubble,” laughed Mr. George; “the Ass, however, has certainly risen in our estimation. Surely since the ladies have condescended to ride them, and make them useful in drawing carriages, some of those attentions bestowed upon the horse, are indisputably their due.”

“Unless you think with Gay, ‘an Ass should like an Ass be treated,’” smiled the Doctor; “of course you allude to their being regularly fed, rubbed down and washed; this is the practice at Cairo, they in consequence grow to a large size and are occasionally sold at a high price. In this country, on the contrary, this useful animal is much neglected and abused. We educate the horse with the greatest care, nothing is spared to render him beautiful, he is dressed, attended, instructed, and exercised; while the Ass is abandoned to the brutality of servants, or to the abuse of children. If he had not a great many good qualities, he would not be able to bear the hard usage to which he is daily exposed and which certainly makes him more stupid, and indocile than he otherwise would be.”

“My dear Sir,” exclaimed my mistress, “pray do not call them all indocile and stupid! I declare I could almost imagine my Jemmy understood my feelings, he stops when I cough, and is the best tempered creature in the world.”

You may be sure this remark of Miss Caroline’s met my approbation; for all my asinine pride had been roused by the concluding observation of the Doctor. Mr. George further tranquillized my irritated nerves.

“We do not consider, that if the horse had no existence,” resumed my amiable champion, “the Ass, both in himself, and with regard to us, would be the most distinguished animal in the creation—it is comparison alone that degrades him.”

“And this ought not to offend him, did he understand us,” said my mistress, presenting some oak leaves for my acceptance, “for it is by comparison we draw most of our conclusions, and the Donkey must submit to that which his master has no means of avoiding. The flesh of the Ass is sometimes eaten I believe,” added Miss Caroline.

“Yes the Arabians take them in snares for the sake of their flesh,” replied Mr. George; “the Romans were likewise fond of them; Pliny tells us that the epicures preferred those of Africa to all others.”

“These creatures are very nice with regard to water,” resumed Miss Morden, “and I observe in drinking never sink their nose like the horse.”

“It is alleged he is afraid of the shadow of his ears; but I should rather attribute this to his general antipathy to that element, for he never wallows in mire or water, having a dislike to wetting his feet, and will turn out of his road to avoid a puddle.”

“If the Donkey would bear it, I should like vastly to see how he would look when rubbed down and washed,” said my Mistress; “I am sure it must conduce to the health of the animal.”

“We will try him,” said Mr. George; “perhaps, Caroline, you anticipate some freak from your Donkey, for the Ass frequently takes the liberty of rolling himself amongst thistles, or ferns, without regard to his burthen, but seemingly with a view to reproach the neglect of his master.”

Never had I before wished to possess the power of speech; how I longed to assure my Mistress she had nothing to apprehend from me, that my utmost ambition was to attend her pleasure! And, though I certainly shrank from the operation to which she had doomed me, I yet resolved to bear it patiently, and if possible continue to deserve her good opinion. There is a promptitude in plans of the young, which sometimes leaves reason at a distance:—Thus, though it was evening, and near the hour of retiring, we no sooner reached home than Mr. George hastened to fulfil the wishes of my Mistress; disrobing me of my trappings, and throwing off his coat, he procured two pails of water and dashing them at my sides, strove to encourage me under my suffering by the kindest and most endearing expressions. In vain I tried to seem pleased, it would not do; my whole frame was shivering, nor could the rubbing down, or the approving voice of my Mistress, reconcile me to the uneasiness of my situation. I take credit to myself that I did not rebel, and by a kick, forfeit my good character. Impatient to make my retreat, I believe I made an attempt to escape, but Mr. George was really too much interested in my welfare to leave my coat absolutely wet.

The Doctor, who had been visiting his patients, returned at this juncture.

“Hey-day,” said the old gentleman, “why is it possible you have been so imprudent as to wash the Donkey at this time of night? I am afraid the poor creature will suffer from your thoughtlessness, George: my dear fellow, you should have reflected that when inflicting a sort of penance on this animal, it was in your power to temper it, by giving him the benefit of a warm sun to dry himself; nay, it would have been good policy. The Donkey invigorated and refreshed by your exertion, might in future, have submitted to your wishes with cheerfulness.”

“Oh dear, I hope he wont take cold,” said my Mistress, who was sitting at the window; “do pray Sir, let Jenkins be called, he understands horses, and may, perhaps, advise what is best to be done for my poor Jemmy.”

Jenkins was called; but, mark the brutality of this man, he could neither allow that I was improved by my sousing, nor that any harm could come to an Ass for any thing of the sort.

“Why they are as hard as iron,” said he, “and as obstinate as mules; for my part I cannot see why they are ever used, not I, nasty sulky brutes.”

Mr. George could be very droll at times, and he knew the character of Jenkins.

“You must not speak disrespectfully of Jemmy,” replied he, “he is a very good tempered fellow Jenkins, and if he does not suffer from his washing to-night, we must see that it is done every day.”

“Sir?” replied Jenkins,—“I tend Donkeys! No! Mr. George, I have enough to do with my horses.”

“So then you would not to oblige me, bestow a little time on this inoffensive animal?”

“It would be lost time, Sir, I know it; time out of mind they have been known to be stupid, dirty brutes.”

“Well,” said the Doctor, “Jemmy must decide this point, if he is not injured by my son’s mistake in washing him at night-fall instead of the morning, I shall expect that you, Jenkins, will be ready to do as Mr. George has proposed.”

Jenkins was mute in the presence of his master, but as he drove me to my shed his eloquence revived: nor did he omit to urge me on by several smart blows on my sides.

“A pretty thing indeed, to turn Donkey-dresser after twenty year’s service!” muttered he, “yes, to be sure I’ll dress you, but it shall be with a good horse-whip.”

These threatenings were not lost upon me. It seemed as though my fortitude was to be tried to the utmost. It gives me pleasure, however, to state, I sustained no material injury from this my first introduction to a cold bath; the agitation of my nerves subsided as I reverted to the motives which influenced my Mistress. It would have been ungrateful in the extreme had I done otherwise; and I recommend it to Asses in general, to adopt a similar effort of their understandings, under every real or imaginary oppression.

Had I sat—lain down, I should have said,—to ruminate on the wretchedness of my condition, petulantly concluded that my protectors had a pleasure in seeing me miserable, it is probable I had nourished revenge in my bosom, or by concealing my feelings brought on some serious malady. That I looked to the morrow, with the same thoughtless indifference as formerly, I will not pretend to say:—No, I dreaded a repetition of that shock from which I had so lately escaped; my sleep was broken, and uneasy; huge pails, and rough brushes, passed before my “mind’s eye,” and the unamiable visage of Jenkins more than once crossed my imagination.

As I profess to be an Ass of some observation, it may be supposed I made my own reflections on the conversation of the preceding day.

As a member of the asinine community, I had received much gratification from the handsome things said of us; the subordination of animals to their masters no longer astonished me; on the contrary I could not but admire the confidence man places in the beast of burden, by trusting his personal safety to our discretion and sagacity. I readily allowed, that our tractability should be evident ere these distinctions were bestowed upon us. And had there been any thing wanting to reconcile me to the degrees of master and servant, I had seen an instance between man and man, where a deficiency in the respect due to a superior had placed the humbler party in an ungracious point of view. The sullen reluctance of Jenkins incited the good Doctor to exert an authority very foreign to his disposition. Had Jenkins represented this additional labour as incompatible with his other employments, his humane master would readily have listened to him. How creatures possessing the power of speech can so far pervert its use I cannot understand!

But I am prattling like a giddy Donkey, forgetting, in my resentment towards Jenkins, the numberless imperfections in my own fraternity. I know we can be sulky—obstinate in the extreme! yes, many a stripe have I borne, rather than submit to the guidance of a capricious rider; and if I could have spoken, there is no saying how far I might have committed myself. I perceive all the danger of judging others, more especially those of a distinct genus;—but surely there can be no harm in expressing one’s contempt for that sort of revenge which leads a rational being to vent his anger on an innocent Donkey, when it was perfectly in his power to state his grievance, had he chosen to do so respectfully. Suppose we sometimes stand still when we ought to proceed; or dismount our rider by surprise, will you make no allowance for our fatigue? nor do us the honor of believing that like yourselves we have our caprices? We possess no modes of expressing our displeasure, but such as render us odious in the eyes of our superiors: yet I declare (excepting the fastidious old Balaam) I do not recollect that I was ever considered an ill-conducted Donkey; and as I am willing to allow that I share in common the foibles of my particular class, it leads me to conclude that tenderness to the failings of one’s own species is but a sort of self love which even an Ass may detect, if he is disposed to take the trouble.

Amidst the many vague wishes which floated in my brain at this happy period of my existence, was one which had incessantly haunted me since first I entered on the world—a desire to exhibit myself in my handsome trappings before old Balaam.

Do not dishonor my feelings, courteous reader, or suppose that I had become insensible to parental love; no, an Ass of my acquaintance had informed me a meeting of this tender nature was totally out of the question, and that the first separation of the foal from its dam was generally a final one.

With Balaam the case was otherwise; he regularly passed the summer at Tunbridge, in Kent, and hearing by accident that we were only a few miles distant from that fashionable place, I sometimes indulged a hope of crossing his path. “How he will stare,” would I say to myself. “Yes, I think it will be hardly necessary to tell him, a Donkey’s life may be very comfortable.—He will see I am well fed, cheerful, and elegantly dressed.”

In short, it would be endless to repeat the various harangues my Donkey capacity suggested, as appropriate to this much desired event. It did arrive, but not under the auspices I anticipated.

But I am gallopping as though I were an actual racer at this moment; and alas! I have some intervening vicissitudes to relate, and must endeavour to be methodical.

The morning arrived, and it was with heart-felt pleasure I heard the footstep of Mr. George Manton approaching my shed. Had Jenkins made his appearance, I really think I should have fainted; answering the kind salutation of Mr. George, I ran towards him, and we sallied forth. “Come my poor fellow,” said he, “I am glad to see you so brisk, we must pursue the same course, there is a warm sun to dry you this morning.” I started back intuitively, and as is usual with us when alarmed, my ears inclined backwards; the young gentleman laughed at me, called me “a comical animal:” but finding him resolute, I made a virtue of necessity and submitted with a good grace. Jenkins was not of our party, and the expedition with which my young master performed his office soon left me at liberty to bask beneath the rays of a glowing summer sun.