Act 4 — Scene VIII.

Scene VIII.

Chremes, Mysis, Davus.

Chremes. (to himself.) Well, having prepared every thing for the marriage of my daughter, I am returned to inform them that they may now send for her. But what do I see? by Hercules, ’tis a child! Woman, did you lay it there?

Mysis. Where can Davus be?

Chremes. Why don’t you answer me?

Mysis. (aside.) Ah! he is not here. Mercy on me, the fellow has left me here, and gone away.

Davus. (speaking loud, and pretending not to see Chremes.) Heavens! what a crowd there is in the Forum! what a wrangling! provisions too are very dear. (Aside.) What else to say I know not.

Mysis. (aside to Davus.) In Heaven’s name, how could you think of leaving me here alone?

Davus. (aloud.) Ha! what plot is this? Mysis, whose child is this? who brought it here?

Mysis. (aside to Davus.) Are you mad to ask me such a question?

Davus. Whom should I ask? I can see no one else here[175].

Chremes. (aside.) I wonder whose child it is!

Davus. Will you answer me or not?

Mysis. Ah!

Davus. (aside to Mysis.) Move to the right.

Mysis. Are you mad? was it not yourself?

Davus. (aside to Mysis.) Take care not to say a single syllable, except exact answers to the questions I put to you.

Mysis. Do you threaten me?

Davus. Whose child is it? (Aside to Mysis.) Speak.

Mysis. From our house.

Davus. Ha! ha! this woman’s impudence is wonderful!

Chremes. (aside.) This girl belongs to the Andrian, I am pretty sure.

Davus. Do we seem so fit to be imposed upon?

Chremes. (aside.) I came just in time.

Davus. (quite loud.) Make haste, and take the brat from our door. (Aside to Mysis.) Don’t stir a step.

Mysis. The deuce [176]take you, fellow, for terrifying me in this manner.

Davus. Do you hear me or not?

Mysis. What do you want?

Davus. What! must I tell you again! whose child have you brought here? Answer me.

Mysis. You know well enough whose child it is.

Davus. Never mind what I know: tell me what I ask.

Mysis. It belongs to your family.

Davus. To our family! but to which of us?

Mysis. To Pamphilus.

Davus. Hey! what? to Pamphilus? (very loud.)

Mysis. Yes, can you deny it?

Chremes. (aside.) I acted wisely in avoiding the match[177].

Davus. What a disgraceful trick! it ought to be publicly exposed.

Mysis. What are you making so much noise about?

Davus. What did I see brought to your house yesterday?

Mysis. O! impudent fellow!

Davus. ’Tis true: I saw old Canthara, with something under her cloak[178].

Mysis. Thank Heaven, that there were some free women present when my mistress was delivered[179ᴬ].

Davus. She knows little of the man she wants to practise these tricks upon: do you think that if Chremes saw this child before our door, he would refuse us his daughter on that account? I say he would give her more willingly.

Chremes. (aside.) Not he, indeed.

Davus. And, to be short with you, that you may understand me at once, if you don’t take away the child instantly, I’ll roll him into the middle of the street, and you, Madam, into the kennel.

Mysis. [179ᴮ]By Pollux, fellow, you are drunk.

Davus. One falsehood brings on another: [180]I hear it whispered about, that she is a citizen of Athens.

Chremes. (aside.) How!

Davus. And that he will be compelled to marry her[181].

Mysis. What then, pray, is she not a citizen?

Chremes. (aside.) By Jupiter, I have narrowly escaped making myself a common laughing-stock to all the town.

Davus. (turning round suddenly.) Who speaks there? Oh Chremes! you are come just in time: listen——

Chremes. I have heard every thing.

Davus. What, Sir, heard all, did you say?

Chremes. I tell you, I heard all from the beginning.

Davus. (half aloud.) He has heard all: what an [182]accident!—this impudent wench ought to be taken hence and punished[183]: (to Mysis.) This is Chremes himself: think not that you can impose upon Davus.

Mysis. Alas! dear Sir, indeed I have said nothing but the truth.

Chremes. I know every thing. Is Simo at home?

Davus. Yes, Sir.

[Exit Chremes.