Act 3 — Scene II.

Scene II.

Lesbia, Simo, Davus.

Lesbia. Hitherto, Archillis, she has all the usual symptoms of doing well. Now, first, let her be bathed[146]: and, after that, give her the drink, in the quantities I directed. I shall return immediately. Upon my life, Pamphilus has got a very pretty boy. Heaven grant he may live to make a good man! for his father is a worthy youth, who would not wrong this innocent young creature.

[Exit.

Simo. (to Davus.) Could any one, who knew you, doubt for a moment that you were the contriver of this?

Davus. Contriver! of what, Sir?

Simo. The midwife never gave her orders about the treatment of her patient while she was in the house: but, after she was come out of doors, she bawls from the street to those within. O Davus, am I so despised by you? or do I appear to you a fit subject to practise such barefaced tricks upon? The least you could have done, was to have acted cautiously, that I might, at any rate, seem to be feared, if I had discovered it.

Davus. (aside.) By Jupiter, he cheats himself: I am sure I’ve no hand in it.

Simo. Did I not warn you? Did I not threaten you with the consequences of this? But what care you? ’Twas all to no purpose! Do you think that I really believe that Glycera has borne a child to Pamphilus?

Davus. I see his error now, and know my cue.

Simo. Why don’t you speak?

Davus. What! not believe it! as if you had not been told of all this before!

Simo. I told of it!

Davus. Ha! ha! Could you, of yourself, have discovered that this was all pretended?

Simo. I am laughed at!

Davus. You must have been told of it: how else could you have suspected any thing?

Simo. How! because I know you thoroughly, sirrah.

Davus. Meaning, Sir, I suppose, that this was done by my advice?

Simo. Certainly: there can’t be the least doubt of that.

Davus. I’m sorry, Simo, that you don’t yet know me better.

Simo. What! not know you?

Davus. The moment I begin to speak, you imagine that I am trying to impose upon you.

Simo. Quite without cause, hey, Mr. Innocence?

Davus. Truly, at this rate, I shall hardly dare open my [147]mouth.

Simo. One thing I am sure of; that this child-birth is all counterfeited.

Davus. You have discovered the truth; but, nevertheless, they will not fail to lay a child at our door very shortly. I tell you, Sir, beforehand, that this will happen, that you may be prepared for it; and not afterwards say, that it was done by the advice and contrivance of Davus. Indeed, Sir, I wish to remove the unjust opinion you entertain of me.

Simo. How do you know this?

Davus. I heard it, and believe it to be true. Many circumstances induce me to form this conjecture. First of all, this girl affirms that she is with child by Pamphilus, which I have discovered to be false. Now, finding that the marriage preparations are going forward in our house[148], she sends her maid to fetch a midwife, and to provide a child[149]: at the same time, thinking that unless they managed that you should see a child, the marriage would not be impeded.

Simo. But, as you had discovered all this, why did you not directly acquaint my son with their designs?

Davus. Why, Sir, who was it that prevailed on him to break off the connexion? was it not Davus? We all know how madly he loved her: but now, on the contrary, he prudently resolves to marry. In short, Sir, leave this business to me: and do you persevere, (as you have begun,) in forwarding the marriage: and, I trust, that Heaven will be propitious to your endeavours!

Simo. Well, now, go in, and wait for me.