Volume 93 — OFFICIAL OBJECT LESSONS.
Reading edition
Complaining of the foul condition of the bathing-lakes in Victoria Park, Mr. Pickersgill asked the First Commissioner of Works "to accompany him one morning to see the state of the Lakes for himself." There is some reason to believe that, acting on this admirable suggestion, official expeditions will be organised to other places; for instance:—
The Duke of Bedford will attend at Covent Garden Market at two o'clock in the morning and stay there till mid-day, and see how he likes it.
Mr. Chamberlain will consent to be locked inside a barricaded Irish hovel when an eviction is expected.
The Ranger of Kensington Gardens—if there is one, or, failing him, the Deranger—will visit the neighbourhood of the Round Pond, and notice the adroit manner in which the turf has been removed so as just to prevent the full enjoyment of the gardens by the public during the whole of the present summer.
Mr. Matthews, as an Amateur and very Casual Defendant, will go round the various Metropolitan Police-courts, and attempt to give evidence contradicting that of policemen, and will thus obtain a valuable insight into Magisterial deportment.
Selected Members of the Vestries and of the Metropolitan Board of Works will harness themselves to omnibuses, and attempt to drag the vehicles, when fully loaded, over watered wood and asphalte without slipping.
The Archbishop of Canterbury, disguised as a troubled parishioner in need of spiritual advice, will call on any London Curate and ask him his real unvarnished opinion on his Vicar's proposal that he should "give liberally" to the Church House Scheme.
Mr. Gladstone will "take a place" in Kerry and try to collect his own rents.
Mr. Labouchere will negotiate with the Sublime Porte himself, at half Sir H. Drummond Wolff's salary, and promise not to grumble.
And, every Member of Parliament who has ever promised to "do something" to improve the Dwellings of the Poor, and has done nothing, will spend the whole of August in a slum-dwelling in Whitechapel.
Old Doggerel Adapted.
Some say to keep the realm compact, We must stick to the Union-Act; Others, that to be one, and feel it, We must immediately repeal it. Strange that such difference should be, 'Twixt Union and Unity!
How perfect Mr. Rider Haggard's latest story would he, if it weren't for his persistent introduction of the low comedian, a stagey French cook of the old farcical order. Couldn't he "find another way to (comic) man his Haggard?" This quotation is from The Taming of the Shrew, adapted.