Volume 153 — "GOG."
Reading edition
(To the Author of "Jong," Punch, September 19th.)
O singer sublime of Beeyah-byyah-bunniga-nelliga-jong, It isn't envy, the green and yellow, That makes me take up my lyre, old fellow, And burst with a fierce cacophonous bellow Across the path of your song. I want to propose another name, Unknown to you and unknown to fame; It is like the sound of a hand-sawn log Or the hostile hark of a husky dog: Chagogagog-munchogagog-chabun-agungamog! This cracker of jaws is a lake, I'm told, a lake in the U.S.A., And first the Indians, the red sort, owned it, But later to Uncle Sam they loaned it, Who afterwards made no bones, but boned it In the fine Autolycus way; And though life wasn't a matter vital He kept with the lake its rasping title, Which recalls the croak of an amorous frog Or a siren heard in an ocean fog: Chagogagog-munchogagog-chabun-agungamog!
The Butterfly.
"Two thousand cabbage butterflies have been captured by Huntingdon school-children, but more stern measures for their capture must be introduced."—Evening Paper.
In order to capture the cabbage butterfly the first thing to do is to interest the creature by giving it a cabbage-leaf to play with. Then take the kitchen-chopper in the right hand, lift it high and bring it down with a crash on the third vertebra. Few butterflies repeat any offence after this is severed.
The Invincible Argentine.
"There is a most useful Navy, including two or three super-Dreadnoughts, and the best-bred racehorses in the world."—Irish Times.
"Further instructions as regards the allowance to householders which have increased in size will be issued later. The issue of temporary cards is under consideration."—Food Control Notice in "Liverpool Daily Post."
"Who have increased in size" would be better grammar and just as good sense.
A Lesson for the National Service Department.
Words under a picture in The Daily Mail:—
"Chiropodists are attending to the feet of America's new army, and dentists are paying attention to the teeth."
Whereas in the British Army it might so easily have been the other way round.
Our Stylists Again.
From The Tatler on the subject of the little Stork, which is the badge of Capt. Guynemer's squadron:—
"What emblem could, indeed, be more appropriate as well as beautiful as the bird which is the symbol of Alsace?"
"Wanted, Girls, age 18 to 22, for Jam Jars."—Manchester Evening Chronicle.
As a substitute for sugar, we presume; but wouldn't "Sweet Seventeen" be even more suitable?
"In almost every part of England and Wales there are now some 200,000 women who are doing a real national work on the land."—Mr. PROTHERO'S letter in "The Daily Telegraph."
If there are 200,000 women in almost every part of England there can't be much chance for the men, particularly the single men.