Volume 153 — YESTERDAY IN OXFORD STREET.
Reading edition
Yesterday in Oxford Street, oh, what d'you think, my dears? I had the most exciting time I've had for years and years; The buildings looked so straight and tall, the sky was blue between, And, riding on a motor-bus, I saw the fairy queen! Sitting there upon the rail and bobbing up and down, The sun was shining on her wings and on her golden crown; And looking at the shops she was, the pretty silks and lace— She seemed to think that Oxford Street was quite a lovely place. And once she turned and looked at me and waved her little hand, But I could only glare and stare, oh, would she understand? I simply couldn't speak at all, I simply couldn't stir, And all the rest of Oxford Street was just a shining blur. Then suddenly she shook her wings—a bird had fluttered by— And down into the street she looked and up into the sky, And perching on the railing on a tiny fairy toe She flashed away so quickly that I hardly saw her go. I never saw her any more, although I looked all day; Perhaps she only came to peep and never meant to stay; But oh, my dears, just think of it, just think what luck for me That she should come to Oxford Street and I be there to see!
R.F.
Light on the Situation.
"Dr. Michaelis is the trusted no-hold-out until their plans of annexation have been carried out, and they always receive a gracious telegram in reply. So he who cares to hear knows what the hour is striking."—Egyptian Mail.
Journalistic Humility.
"Two years ago The Daily Mail begged our sluggish authorities to study the question of daylight air-raids as well as night attacks. We pointed out their risk; we asked that the best means of meeting them should be considered and the best method of warning the public investigated. The result was that nothing was done."—Daily Mail.
"Of old was it written that they who taketh up the sword shall perish by the sword, and the written word remaineth."—The Daily Mirror.
But it hath been a little damaged in the interval.
"It may be estimated the Germans opposing our troops represented an average concentration of more than four men to every yard of front."—Liverpool Echo.
Never could it have been done with four pre-war Germans!
"Up to July 26 1,559 lists had been issued officially of German casualties. Each list contained 19,802 pages of three columns per page, and each column contained between 80 and 90 names of dead, wounded, and missing officers and men—a total of nearly 6,000,000."—Daily Sketch.
We trust our spirited contemporary has not joined the Hide-the-Truth Press, for we make the sum approximately 7,872,186,090.
Old Gentleman (to father of conscientious objector). "BUT SUPPOSING A GERMAN WAS GOING FOR YOUR SON WITH A BAYONET—WOULDN'T HE GO FOR THE GERMAN?"
Father of C.O. "AY! I DOUBT HE'D SAY SUMMAT. 'E'S GOT A SHARP TONGUE WHEN 'E'S VEXED."