Volume 153 — PRATT'S TOURS OF THE FRONT.
Reading edition
THE LAST WORD IN SENSATION.
By special arrangement Pratt's are able to offer their patrons unique opportunities of witnessing the stirring events of the Great Struggle.
Don't miss it; you may never see another War.
Come and see Tommy at work and play.
Come and be shelled—a genuine thrill! Same as during London's Air-raids, but less danger.
At the conclusion of the Tour patrons will be presented with a Handsome Medal as a souvenir of their exploits.
The following is a list of Tours that Pratt's offer you:—
PRATT'S TOURS OF THE BACK.
(One week.)
Very cheap. Very safe. Headquarters at the historic town of Amiens.
Itinerary includes: Battlefields of the Somme and Ancre, Bapaume, Arras, Vimy Ridge, Ypres, etc. Guides will take parties round the old British Front lines. The German Defence System will be explained by harmless Huns actually taken at those places.
Special Attractions.
Lantern Lecture by Captain Crump at Thiepval Château. Recherché Suppers at Serre Sucrerie.
PRATT'S TOURS OF TRENCHES.
(Four days.)
See the real thing. Live it yourself. Dine in a dugout. Drink rum as the Tommy drinks it. See Staff Officers at work (if it can be arranged).
Restrictions.
I. Loud laughing and talking is discouraged.
II. Sunshades and umbrellas must not be put up when in the front line.
III. Don't talk to the man at the periscope.
Gas Warning.
In case of gas put on the respirator; otherwise breathe out continuously.
Special Attraction.
Official Photographers in attendance during Christmas week.
If possible visitors will be given the opportunity of witnessing a practice barrage on the Enemy's front line.
Back seats (in ammunition dumps), two guineas. Front seats (firing line), sixpence.
Terms inclusive for the four days, twenty guineas. Good food. Sugar ad lib. All reasonable precautions taken. Casualties amongst visitors up to the present, one sick (sugar saturation).
PRATT'S BRIEF TOURS FOR BUSY PEOPLE.
(Saturday to Monday.)
Very short. Very moderate terms. Five guineas each tour or three for twelve and a-half. Bring the boy.
Special Attraction.
Magnificent Switchback Railway up and down the Messines Mine Craters. Spot where Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL lost his little Homburg hat under fire will be shown.
THE YPRES CARNIVAL.
(Three days.)
All the fun of the fair. Souvenirs supplied while you wait.
Splendid Side-show Features.
I. How our lads keep fit. Regimental sports. Rivet your sides and see the Bread and Jam Race.
II. Obstacle Race. Lorry versus Staff Car (with French carts, traffic control and G.S. wagons as obstacles). Very amusing. Language real.
For the Youngsters.
Pick-a-back rides on the Highland Light Elephantry.
Accommodation.
Bedrooms (en pension)— Ground floor............. One guinea. First floor (below) ..... Three guineas. Second floor (very safe). Ten guineas.
PRATT'S "BATTLE" TOUR.
Extraordinary offer. Thrills guaranteed.
By special arrangement Pratt's are enabled to offer their patrons a first-class view of the British Weekly Push "Somewhere in France (or Flanders)."
Attention is called to the following specially attractive items (there may be others):—
1. View of Preliminary Bombardment from an absolutely proof 12-inch O.P. The surrounding country and the objectives of the next attack will be explained by a specially trained Staff Officer.
2. The Battle.
Visitors are earnestly requested to be in time, as space in the Observation Post is limited and late arrivals cause a great deal of discomfort to all. Ladies are respectfully requested to remove their hats.
3. The Aftermath.
(a) Special Shelters are erected at cross-roads for visitors to witness the getting-up of guns, ammunition, etc., after the attack. Please don't feed the men as they go by or ask the Gunners questions.
(b) Breakfast in Boschland. Lunch in a Listening Post. Supper in a Saphead.
(c) A Special Narrow-gauge Railway will take Visitors to the newly-acquired forward area (not obligatory). This part of the programme is liable to variation.
Terms, fifty guineas. An Insurance Agent is always in attendance. Casualties up to the present, one Conscientious Objector missing, believed joined up.
Bombardments arranged at the shortest notice. For five pounds you can fire a 15-inch. Write for Free Booklet and apply for all particulars to Pratt's Agency, London, Paris, etc., etc.
VISITORS.
When I was very ill in bed The fairies came to visit me; They danced and played around my head, Though other people couldn't see. Across the end a railing goes With bars and balls and twisted rings, And there they jiggled on their toes And did the wonderfullest things. They balanced on the golden balls, They jumped about from bar to bar, And then they fluttered to the walls Where coloured birds and roses are. I watched them darting in and out, I watched them gaily climb and cling, While all the roses moved about And all the birds began to sing. And when it was no longer light I felt them up my pillows creep, And there they sat and sang all night— I heard them singing in my sleep. R.F.
Another Sex Problem.
"From Lord Rosebery's herd at Mentmore, Mr. Ross got a show cow of the Lady Dorothy family, giving every appearance of being a great milker and a tip-top bull calf."—Aberdeen Free Press.
From a German communiqué:—
"Our naval forces had encounters with Russian destroyers and gungoats north of Oesel."—Westminster Gazette.
The Russian reply to the ewe-boats, we suppose.
"Kugelmann, Ludwig, of Canterbury Road, Canterbury, grocer, has adopted the name of Love Wisdom Power."—Australian Paper.
Who said the Germans had no sense of humour?
BURGLAR BILL.
THE POTSDAM PINCHER. "SURELY YOU AIN'T ASKIN' ME TO GIVE UP MY SWAG ARTER ALL THE TROUBLE I'VE HAD GETTIN' IT, AN' ALL THE VALIBLE BLOOD I'VE SPILT."