Volume 153 — THE CHANGE CURE.

It may be that a modern Mene, Mene Will force the Duchess to become a tweeny; But, ere this democratic transformation Secures the "old nobility's" salvation, Some other changes are not less but more Needful to aid our progress in the War. For instance, with what rapture were we blest If Some-one gave his nimble tongue a rest And, turning Trappist, stanched the fearsome gush Of egotistic and thrasonic slush; Or if Lord X. eschewed his daily speeches And took to canning Californian peaches; Or if egregious LYNCH could but abstain From "ruining along the illimitable inane" At Question-time, and try to render PLATO'S Republic into Erse, or grow potatoes; Or if our novelists wrote cheerful books, Instead of joining those superfluous cooks Who spoil our daily journalistic broth By lashing it into a fiery froth. Counsels of sheer perfection, you will say, In times when ev'ry mad dog has his day, Yet none the less inviting as the theme Of a millennial visionary's dream. And as for Duchesses turned tweeny-maids Or following other unobtrusive trades There's nothing very wonderful or new Or difficult to credit in the view; For DICKENS—whom I never fail to bless For solace in these days of storm and stress— Found his best slavey in The Marchioness.