Volume 153 — ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, July 23rd.—The country awoke this morning to find itself threatened with a first-class political crisis and possibly a General Election to follow. Members dwelling temporarily on the Western Front had reluctantly torn themselves from their dug-outs on the receipt of a three-line whip, and had repaired post-haste to Westminster.

PAPA MCKENNA LECTURES YOUNG BONAR ON EXTRAVAGANCE. EVEN WHEN SOWING HIS WILDEST OATS HE (PAPA) NEVER CAME ANYWHERE NEAR SEVEN MILLION POUNDS PER DIEM.

The trouble was nominally about the agricultural labourer and his minimum wage. Should it be twenty-five shillings, as set down in the Corn Production Bill, or thirty shillings, as proposed by Mr. WARDLE, the Leader of the Labour Party? The Amendment had the assent of the hard-shell Free-Traders, who were glad to snatch at any chance of defeating the proposed bounty to the farmer. They had been further incensed by the appointment of Messrs. MONTAGU and CHURCHILL to the Ministry, and hoped perhaps that some of the extreme Tories would help them to give the PRIME MINISTER a good hard knock.

Mr. PROTHERO made it plain from the outset that the Government meant to stand or fall by the proposal in the Bill; and most of the friends of the agricultural labourer prudently preferred twenty-five shillings in the hand to thirty shillings in the bush; with the result that the amendment was defeated by 301 to 102.

Mr. HOGGE called attention to the anomalous position occupied by Dr. ADDISON. The late Minister for Munitions and future Minister for Reconstruction is for the moment only an ordinary Member. Ought he not therefore to be re-elected before taking up his new appointment? Mr. SPEAKER'S judicious reply, "I do not appoint Ministers," left one wondering what sort of an appearance the Treasury Bench would present if he did.

Tuesday, July 24th.—Major HUNT and Mr. KING, though in some respects not unlike one another—each combining a child-like belief in what they are told outside the House with an invincible scepticism in regard to the information they receive from Ministers inside—are rarely found hunting in couples. But they made common cause to-day over the alleged award of the Distinguished Service Order to persons who had never been near the firing line, and they refused to accept Mr. MACPHERSON'S assurance that it was only given for service in the field. Mr. KING knew for a fact that a gentleman in France who had only served in the Post-Office had received it—presumably for not deserting his post; while Major HUNT could not understand how anyone should have earned it for fighting at home. "How has this country been attacked?" he asked indignantly. Air-raids evidently do not count with this gallant yeoman.

Efficiency, not economy, is the PRIME MINISTER'S watchword. Sir EDWARD CARSON as a Member of the War Cabinet will have no portfolio, but will enjoy the not inadequate salary of five thousand a year for what the Profession calls "a thinking part." The new Minister of Reconstruction is to have two thousand a year; and we shall no doubt hear shortly that he has begun his labours by reconstructing another hotel for the accommodation of his staff.

THE SECRET SERVICE IN THE HOUSE.

MR. KING HAS SUSPICIONS OF SOMETHING NEFARIOUS.

With the spirit of expansion pervading the Head of the Government, it is not surprising that the expenditure of the country continues to rise. The panting estimators of the Treasury toil after it in vain. Mr. McKENNA's passionate plea for a limit to our war-expenditure would have carried more weight if he had shown any sign during his own time at the Exchequer of being able to impose one. As it was, Mr. G.D. FABER'S interjection, "Do you want to limit munitions?" quickly reduced him to generalities. The House had to rest content with Mr. BONAR LAW'S assurance that, though we could not go on for ever, we could go on longer than our enemies.

Wednesday, July 25th.—In answer to Mr. PEMBERTON-BILLING the UNDER-SECRETARY FOR WAR stated that since the outbreak of hostilities there had been forty-seven airship raids and thirty "heavier than air" raids upon this country, "making seventy-eight air-raids in all." It is believed that the discrepancy is explained by Mr. BILLING'S unaccountable omission on one occasion to make a speech.

He made one to-night of prodigious length, which brought him into personal collision with Major ARCHER-SHEE. Palace Yard was the scene of the combat, which ended, as I understand, in ARCHER downing PEMBERTON and BILLING sitting on SHEE. Then the police arrived and swept up the hyphens.

Opinions differ as to Mr. KING'S latest performance. Some hold his complaint, that the Government had introduced detectives into the precincts of the House, to have been perfectly genuine, and point to his phrase, "I speak from conviction," as a proof that he was trying to revenge himself for personal inconvenience suffered at the hands of the minions of the law. Others contend that he knew all the time the real reason for their presence—the possibility that Sinn Fein emissaries would greet Mr. GINNELL'S impending departure with a display of fireworks from the Gallery.

Thursday, July 26th.—Mr. GINNELL put in a belated appearance this afternoon in order to make a dramatic exit. But the performance lacked spontaneity. Indeed honourable Members, even while they laughed, were, I think, a little saddened by the sight of this elderly gentleman's pathetic efforts to play the martyr.

Only twenty Members agreed with Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD in believing, or affecting to believe, that the recent resolution of the German Reichstag was the solemn pronouncement of a sovereign people, and that it only requires the endorsement of the British Government to produce an immediate and equitable peace. Not much was left of this pleasant theory after Mr. ASQUITH had dealt it a few of his sledge-hammer blows. "So far as we know," he said, "the influence of the Reichstag, not only upon the composition but upon the policy of the German Government, remains what it has always been, a practically negligible quantity."

Any faint hopes that the pacificists may have cherished of a favourable division were destroyed by Mr. SNOWDEN in a speech whose character may be judged by the comment passed on it by Mr. O'GRADY, just back from Russia, that "LENIN had preached the same doctrine in Petrograd."

THE REST CURE.

TRIBUNALS PLEASE COPY.

"It is understood that the French Consul at Lourenco Marques, M. Savoye, has, owing to ill-health, asked his Government to allow him to return to Army duties."—Cape Times.

"Lady —— set the fashion of arriving at the altar with empty hands. She is the first bride to have had such an important wedding without the etceteras of bouquet or prayerbook, bridesmaids, pages, or wedding-cake."—News of the World.

Far too big a handful.

"150 YEARS AGO—JULY 20, 1767.

Reports of the borough treasurer of West Ham show a loss of £41,000 on the municipal tramways and a loss of £35,000 on the electricity undertaking."—Northampton Daily Echo.

So the eighteenth century was not so much behind the present time as we had been led to believe.

"Piano wanted by a lady to teach little girl to learn."—Provincial Paper.

One of those player-pianos with the new knuckle-rapping attachment, we suppose.

Tommy ("mopping up" captured trench). "IS THERE ANYONE DOWN THERE?"

Voice from dug out. "JA! JA! KAMERAD!"

Tommy. "THEN COME OUT HERE AND FRATERNISE."