Volume 152 — WILLIAM v. THE WORLD.
Reading edition
Doubtless you feel that such a fight Would be a huge réclame for Hundom; That Earth would stagger at the sight Of Gulielmus contra Mundum; That WILLIAM, facing awful odds, Should prove a spectacle for men and gods. ('Tis true you have Allies who share The toll you levy for the shambles, Yet, judging by the frills you wear In this your most forlorn of gambles, One might suppose you stood alone In solitary splendour all your own.) And if the game against you goes, As seems, I take it, fairly certain, The Hero, felled by countless foes, Should make a rather useful curtain; You could with honour cry for grace, Having preserved the thing you call your face. I shouldn't count too much on that. The globe is patient, slow and pensive, But has a way of crushing flat The objects which it finds offensive; And when it's done with you, my brave, I doubt if you will have a face to save.
O. S.
A Lost Leader.
"Mr. Law began his speech with intermittent cries for Mr. Lloyd George."—The Saturday Westminster Gazette.
We can well understand Mr. LAW'S sense of loneliness, and our contemporary has performed a genuine service in recording this pathetic incident, which seems to have escaped all the other reporters of the opening of Parliament.
"His mother died when he was seven years old, while his father lived to be nearly a centurion."—Wallasey and Wirral Chronicle.
Hard lines that he just missed his promotion.
"ROYAL FLYING CORPS.
FLIGHT COMDRS.—Lt. (temp. Capt.) F.P. Don, and to retain his temp. tank whilst so empld."—The Times.
We commend this engaging theme to the notice of Mr. LANCELOT SPEED, in case the popularity of his film, "Tank Pranks," now being exhibited, should call for a second edition.
"Four lb. of bread (or 3 lb. of flour), 2½ lb. of meat, and ¾ lb. of sugar—these are the voluntary rations for each person for a week, and in a household of five persons this works out at 23-1/3 lb. of bread and flour, 9 lb. of meat, and 4 lb. of sugar."—Weekly Scotsman.
We always like to have our arithmetic done for us by one who has the trick of it.
"WANTED, False Teeth, any condition; highest price given, buying for Government."—Local Paper.
This may account for the statement in another journal that "the new Administration is going through teething troubles."
Mr. Punch begs to call the attention of his readers to an exhibition of original War-Cartoons to be held by his namesake of Australia at 155, New Bond Street, beginning on February 22nd. The cartoons are the work of Messrs. GEORGE H. DANCEY and CHARLES NUTTALL, of the Melbourne Punch.