Volume 102 — "ARE YOU HANSARD NOW?"

The Auctioneer exclaimed,—"These Vols. Have neither fault nor blot. I think that I, without demur, May call them quite 'a lot.' "Speeches by RUSSELL, PAM, and BRIGHT, Good for the heart and head. Take them as spoken; if you like, Pray take them, too, as read." But when the Auction did begin, Bidders, alack! were lacking; Back numbers hove in sight in shoals, Yet seemed to have no backing. "Then this," quoth he, "appears to be The dismal situation; Though from these speeches statesmen quote, For them there's no quotation. "The eye has 'heavenly rhetoric,' Hear WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE cry; But heavenly rhetoric now, 'tis plain, Itself is all my eye. "A penny! Really such a bid I can't allow to pass; A man who'd offer coppers here Must be composed of brass. "'Progress' I cannot well 'report,' Unless this lot is bought in; The only progress seems to be, When there'll be no reportin'. "Such priceless gems, such wretched bids!" The hammer-man did shout; "If you desire, I knock them down— You first must knock me out! "No higher offer? Then I'm forced, Pray pardon the suggestion— To take a hint from Parliament, And 'move the Previous Question.'"