Volume 102 — TIMES CHANGE.
Reading edition
["The 'Ranges Act' constitutes ... a standing menace to rights of common wherever commons and open spaces exist."—The Times.]
"The old order changes, yielding place to new." By Phoebus, you are right, mellifluous TENNYSON! Could Norman WILLIAM this conjuncture view, He'd greet our Progress with—well, scarce a benison; He, though ranked high 'midst monarchs and commanders, Had the same weakness as our troops in Flanders. ROBERT the Devil's ruthless son would clear A county to make coverts, deer-runs, chaces. What had he thought of modern notions queer Concerning Common Rights and Open Spaces? "The People—who are varlets!—still oppose them, Whether the Powers that be make or enclose them!" "The People versus Powers that Be!" Ah, yes! Imperious Norman, that's a modern trial That's always being argued more or less; The Press keeps now such vigilant espial On every grasping would-be public plunderer. You, Sire, had not to reckon with "The Thunderer!" Times change, stark soldier, and we have the Times Premier to check and snub Chief Secretaries. Counting land-grabbing high among earth's crimes Would have amazed you! Public judgment varies. You and your wolf-hound, WILLIAM, would not now Try a "clean sweep,"—without a general row. Ask OTTO! He is somewhat in your style, But he could tell you what new risks environ The ancient art of Ruling. You may smile At Print and Paper versus Blood and Iron, But Sovereign and Crown, though loved by many, Stand now no chance against the Popular Penny. Ask Malwood's Squire again! He knows right well The New Democracy,—and the New Forest; Our great Plantagenet, a true blue "Swell," Fights for the People when their need is sorest. In Norman BILLY he'd own small belief; The People's WILLIAM is his favourite chief. Your ghostly presence in these verdant glades Might startle STANHOPE, musing on his Ranges, But not the angriest of Royal Shades May now arrest the progress of Time's changes. True, much is yielded yet to Swelldom's "Sport," But some aver that even its time is short. No, Clearances and Rights of Common, now Own not the sway of autocrats capricious. Small use, great Shade, to knit that haughty brow, And swear your action would be expeditious. The days of Curfew and of Forest Law Are passed. We're swayed by Justice—and Free Jaw!
"FOR VALUE RECEIVED."—Aldgate Ward changed Alderman LUSK for one POUND.
WHAT OUR ARTIST HAS TO PUT UP WITH, BEFORE HE TURNS LIKE A CRUSHED WORM.
Our Art Critic (patronisingly). "HA—HUM! WELL, YOUR COLOUR IS FAIRLY DECENT, AND YOU HAVE NICISH FEELING FOR LIGHT AND SHADE, AND CHIAROSCURO. BUT WHERE YOB ALWAYS FAIL TO PLEASE, SOMEHOW, IS IN YOUR EXECUTION!"
Our Artist. "MY EXECUTION? AH! JUST SO. I'VE NO DOUBT THAT YOURS, NOW WOULD BE MORE GENERALLY POPULAR!"
From Parliamentary Examination Paper.
Question.—Explain the term "Standing Orders."
Answer 1.—It means that when a visitor to the House has an order for the Speaker's Gallery, and can't find a seat, he then becomes one of the Standing Orders.—SISTE VIATOR.
Answer 2.—When a friendly M.P. sees three of us waiting for him, takes us to the bar of the House, and orders drinks all round, which we take standing.—BIBENDUM EST.
INDIA FOR THE IRISH!—"An amended estimate of the present Paddy Crop has been published by the Local Government." (Vide Times for Feb. 15.) What more can the most thorough Home-Rulers want, if they would only be content to make their home in Burmah instead of Ireland? "Local Government" can soon be developed, for 'tis but Home Rule in the bud, and the "Paddy Crop" is already there.
MOTTO FOR THE NEW RECORDER OF THE CITY OF LONDON.—"HALL There!"