Volume 102 — HOW THEY BRING THE GOOD NEWS!

All the papers teeming With, the news of DEEMING On the shore or ship; Telling of his tearing Hair that he was wearing From his upper lip. (T-SS-D, rush! Pursue it! Buy it, bring it, glue it On your model! Quick!) Telling how he's looking, How he likes the cooking,— Bah, it makes one sick! Telling of his bearing, How the crowds are staring, What may be his fate, Just what clothes he wore the Days he came before the Local Magistrate. And, verbatim printed All he's said or hinted As to any deeds; Such a chance as this is Not a paper misses! Everybody reads! Would they give such latest News of best and greatest Folks? What's that you say? Who would read of virtue, Or such news insert? You Know it would not pay. So, demand creating Such supply, they're stating All that they can tell; Spite of School-Board teaching, Culture, science, preaching, This is sure to sell.