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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, April 23, 1892

Volume 102 — THE NEWEST NARCISSUS;

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OR, THE HERO OF OUR DAYS.

["—The curious tendency towards imitation which is observed whenever some specially sensational crime is brought into the light of publicity."—Morning Post.']

NARCISSUS? He, that foul ill-favoured brute, A fevered age's most repulsive fruit, The murderous coxcomb, the assassin sleek? Stranger comparison could fancy seek? Truly 'tis not the self-admiring boy Nymph Echo longed so vainly to enjoy; Yet the old classic fable hath a phase Which seems to fit the opprobrium of our days. Criminal-worship seems our latest cult, And this strange figure is its last result. Self-conscious, self-admiring, Crime parades Its loathly features, not in slumdom's shades, Or in Alsatian sanctuaries vile. No; peacock-posing and complacent smile Pervade the common air, and take the town. The glory of a scandalous renown Lures the vain villain more than wrath or gain, And cancels all the shame that should restrain: Makes murder half-heroic in his sight, And gilds the gallows with factitious light. And whose the fault? Sensation it is thine! The garrulous paragraph, the graphic line, Poster and portrait, telegram and tale, Make shopboy eager and domestics pale. Over the morbid details workmen pore, Toil's favourite pabulum and chosen lore, Penny-a-liners pile the horrors up, On which the cockney gobe-mouche loves to sup, And paragraph and picture feed the clown With the foul garbage that has gorged the town. "Vice is a monster of such hideous mien As to be hated needs but to be seen." So sang the waspish satirist long ago. Now Vice is sketched and Crime is made a show. A hundred eager scribes are at their heel To tell the public how they look and feel, How eat and drink, how sleep and smoke and play. Murder's itinerary for a day, Set forth in graphic phrase by skilful pens, With pictures of its face, its favourite dens, Its knife or bludgeon, pistol, paramour, Will swell the swift editions hour by hour, More than high news of war or of debate, The death of heroes or the throes of state. From club-room to street-corner runs the cry After the newest fact, or latest lie: The hurrying throng unfolded broad-sheets grasp, And read with goggled eyes and lips a-gasp, Blood! Blood! More Blood! It makes hot lips go pale, But gives the sweetest zest to the unholy tale. What wonder if the Horror, homaged thus By frenzied eagerness and foolish fuss, Swells to a hideous self-importance, struts In conscious dignity, and gladly gluts With vanity's fantastic tricks the herd Whose pulses first by murderous crime it stirred. Narcissus-like, the slayer bends to trace Within Sensation's flowing stream its face, And, self-enamoured, smiles a loathsome smile Of fatuous conceit and gloating guile; Laughs at the shadow of the lifted knife, And thinks of all things save its victim's life. The "Noisy Nymph," the Echo of our times, The gossip, with an eager ear for crimes, Lurks, half-admiring, all-recording there, Watching Narcissus with persistent stare, And ready note-book. Nothing but a Voice? No, but its babblings travel, and rejoice A myriad prurient ears with noisome news, Fit only for the shambles and the stews. These hear, admire, and sometimes imitate!— Narcissus is a danger to the State, And Echo hardly less. Vain-glorious crime; That pestilent portent of a morbid time, Would flourish less could sense or law avail To strangle coarse Sensation's clamorous tale, Silence the "Noisy Nymph," for half crime's ill Would end were babbling Echo's voice but still.

'THE MISSING CIPHER.'
'THE MISSING CIPHER.'

"THE MISSING CIPHER."

"OH, PAPA, ONLY FIFTY POUNDS FROM SIR GORGIUS MIDAS! SUCH A MILLIONAIRE—WHY HE OUGHT TO HAVE SENT FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS AT LEAST!"

"AH, I'M AFRAID HE FORGOT THE OUGHT, MY DEAR!"

THE NEWEST NARCISSUS; OR, THE HERO OF OUR DAYS.
THE NEWEST NARCISSUS; OR, THE HERO OF OUR DAYS.

THE NEWEST NARCISSUS; OR, THE HERO OF OUR DAYS.

FETTERED.—In reply to the Unemployed Deputation which found employment in paying a visit to the L.C.C. at Spring Gardens, Messrs. BURNS and BEN TILLETT (Alderman) intimated that as Mr. POWER, the U.D.'s spokesman, was not a member of the L.C.C., that body was Power-less to assist them in their trouble. A nasty time of it had the Labour Candidates on this occasion. Nothing like putting men of Radical revolutionary tendencies into responsible positions.

A SHADY VALET.—One DONALD CROSS was a Valet in the service of an absent master, whose best clothes and jewellery DONALD wore, while he kept his flat well aired by giving little supper-parties to young ladies who took him at his own valuation,—for a very superior swell. Alas! he was but a valet de sham! "Cross purposes," but Magistrate "disposes"; and the once happy Valet is in the shade for the next six months.

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