Volume 98 — AU REVOIR!
Reading edition
Mr. Punch and Mr. J. L. Toole discovered smoking a last cigar.
Mr. P. And so, my dear Johnnie, you are leaving us at once?
Mr. J. L. T. Yes, Sir, but I hope soon to be back again. I am looking forward to the voyage as an excellent digestive to all the luncheons, dinners, and suppers I have been taking for the last five or six weeks.
Mr. P. I have no doubt they have been a little trying—eh, Johnnie?
Mr. J. L. T. And yet, as I have observed in the Upper Crust, "they were very welcome." But, Sir, how did I get through my oratory? Did you notice my speeches at the Garrick and the Savage? Which did you prefer?
Mr. P. I heard the first, and read a report of the second, and can conscientiously declare they were equally good.
Mr. J. L. T. I am glad to hear you say so, Sir. I confess I didn't think there was much to choose between them. And now (with deep emotion), will you excuse my glove?
Mr. P. No; I won't say good-bye; for wherever you may roam, my dear Johnnie, you will have this consolation—you will find me there before you!
"There is now a strong impression that the Money Market has at last tided over the period of tightness."—Daily News, Feb. 4.
THE IMPERIAL SOCIALIST.
A Song of a Strange Development.
Will you walk into my Congress? says the Emperor unto Labour; Tis the nicest little Congress; I'm inviting many a neighbour. The way into my Congress by this Rescript I prepare, And we shall have some curious things to show you—when you're there. Then won't you, won't you, little International Working-Man?
We've already done a little to improve poor Labour's lot, Shorten its hours, insure its life, and help to fill its pot. But the poorer and the weaker yet fall short of the reality Of "conformity to the principles of Chris-ti-an morality." Then won't you, &c.
'Tis one of the State's duties, friends, to regulate the time, The duration and the nature of your work,—a task sublime; And you'll find we'll do it better, if you only won't resist, Than that most obnoxious personage, the shouting Socialist. Then won't you, &c.
I'm an Emperor by profession, but I have my little plan For improving the position of the German Working-man. But the International Question stands a little in the way, So I've asked the Nations to convene—I only hope they may. Then won't you, &c.
And when they get together they will do—well, we shall see; But the Socialists shan't have all their own way with Industry. I recognise the justice of the Workmen's aspirations, And upon their wants and wishes I would start "negotiations." Then won't you, &c.
Oh, I know my plan will bring up all the fogies in full blast, And Coercion and Protection I see looking on aghast. But I'm game to turn deaf ear to them, if you will only list, To that latest, strangest birth of time, the Imperial Socialist! Then won't you, &c.