Volume 150 — DRESS "AS USUAL."
Reading edition
(A Protest from Mr. Punch.)
The National Organising Committee for War Savings has issued an appeal against extravagance in women's dress.
Certain ladies—just a section Of our spindle side— Swerving in a wrong direction, Dress have deified; And, as incomes grow more slender, Bring discredit on their gender By refusing to surrender Fashion for their guide. Most of England's wives and daughters Play a noble part, In the very deepest waters Never losing heart; Danger and privation braving, Nursing, helping, toiling, slaving, Thinking vastly more of saving Than of looking smart. Highly-paid officials slate us, Dwelling on the ills Which infallibly await us In our empty tills; But these frenzied fair ones, furious in the quest of the luxurious, Still pursue a most injurious Cult of frocks and frills. True, our Ministerial teachers Fail us in the fight, For the practice of the preachers Sins against the light; Still "Two Wrongs"—for so the sages Crystallize the lore of ages Gathered at successive stages— "Do not make a Right." Birds of Paradise are grateful Under skies serene; But the human type is hateful On a tragic scene; When the outlook's drear and cloudy Punch would rather see you dowdy Than extravagant and rowdy In your dress and mien. True simplicity is tasteful; Think before you spend; Woeful want attends the wasteful In the bitter end; You who, when the world is mourning, All remonstrance lightly scorning, Only think of self-adorning, Sadden Punch, your friend.
Let Sleeping Birds Lie.
"Someone had said it was 'far better to have the birds driven over one than to have to wake them up.'"—Scottish Paper.
"The Council of the Poetry Society has confirmed the appointment of Mr. Galloway Kyle as acting editor of the 'Poultry Review.'"
Now that official action has been taken we may expect an increase in the number of lays.
Exhilarated Visitor (leaving Club). "The feller who caught that fish's dem liar."