Volume 147 — THE PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE.
Reading edition
(The modern girl, according to a daily paper, is not to be won by love-making. She prefers a cheerful and amusing companion.)
Dear, of old I swore devotion In the manner knights employed, Wrote epistles with emotion (Which I trust have been destroyed); Now at last, a practised lover, Boasting conquests not a few, I am told to put a cover On my sentiments for you. Cupid's chat is out of fashion; Sloppy words are never said; Voices once a-throb with passion Shake with merriment instead; Poets qualified to tackle Lyric metres when inspired Stoop to make the ladies cackle— Nothing further is required. Doubtless one whose occupation Has a dull and solemn trend Might enjoy, as relaxation, Jesting with a female friend; But, corrupted by the money That my written humours bring, How on earth can I be funny For the pleasure of the thing?
The Daily Chronicle on the latest submarine:—
"It will also be equipped with a quick-firing gun, which disappears when the vessel is submerged."
This is far the best arrangement; it would never do for it to be left floating where any passer-by could pick it up.