HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF;
Reading edition
Or, The Modern Oracle of Ammon.
Nilus (referring to Parisian Press). But—won't it make our French friends furious?
Mr. Bull. Gammon!
Nilus. Are you, then, the new Oracle of Ammon?
Mr. Bull. Well, Alexander claimed the god his sire. So why not I?
Nilus. I own I rather tire
Of all these squabbles. Peace is what I want.
Disturb my forty centuries of quiet?
Since then it's been all rumpus, and red riot.
Mr. Bull. How about Rameses, old cockalorum?
Nilus. Oh! better all the Pharoahs in full quorum Than Condominiums. The Control called Dual——
Mr. Bull. Oh, don't you bother! That has got its gruel.
Nilus. But these Exploring Expeditions?
Mr. Bull. Bogey! Young Grey should reassure you, my old fogey. His words don't speak scuttle or shilly-shally "My 'sphere of influence' covers the Nile Valley." Isn't that plain enough? God Ammon's nod Was hardly more decisive. It is odd How very like the Oracle's straight tip Was to Sir Edward's. A stiff upper lip Saves lots of talk. "Explorers" will prove skittish But the whole Nile's Egyptian (and thus British). Just as Herodotus tells us Ammon said. Sir Edward, my dear Nile, has an old head Upon young shoulders; courteous as a Granville, He comes down like a hammer on an anvil— Or Ammon on the Libyans—when 'tis needful. Of rumoured expeditions he is heedful But not afraid. Effective occupation? Why that's a ticklish point—for many a nation. But why define it? Edward has a shorter way; He claims for me the whole of your long waterway, And plainly says intrusion would be viewed As—well, "unfriendly." Should the Frank intrude——
Nilus. Ah! by the way, friend John, whose head is yonder Protruding through the reeds?
Mr. Bull (loudly). Humph! Let him ponder What he, perchance, has overheard. No mystery! I simply hold with the great Sire of History. The Times and old Herodotus quite agree. And both speak for the Oracle—J. B., Or Jupiter Ammon. The Débats may differ (At the French Press, at best, I am no sniffer), But don't you be alarmed by spleenful splutter, Or what mere bouncing boulevardiers utter. From all intruders you'll be safe, if you But trust to the Old Oracle—and the New! Far cry, old boy, from Pharoah to the Guelph. Funny how History does repeat itself!
A STUDY IN "BIMETALLISM."
Quotation from the Right Hon. Arth-r B-lf-r's Speech on this subject last week.— "A general fall in Prices was said to be good for the Consumer."
Does it look like it in this instance? [ *** So far the Court is with Mr. A. B-lf-r.]
To Corinna, angry.
The fault was mine. With piercing pang My trespass I deplore; But, when 'tis I you ought to bang, Why do you bang the door?
Q. E. D.—There is said to be a good deal of illness and absence from lessons of the schoolboy population of London at present. Can there be any connection between this phenomenon and a paragraph which is going the round of the papers, headed, "An objection to Euclid"? What is sport to us may be death to them!
The Long and Short of It.
Ars longa est! All know what once that meant; But cranks corrupt so sickeningly have shindied About their Art of late, 'tis evident The rendering now must be, "Art is long-winded!" For Vita brevis,—all true men must hope, Brief life for such base Art—and a short rope!
Motto—slightly modified from Gray's "Elegy"—for Stoddart's Eleven.—"Still in those 'ashes' live their wonted fire."