AN AUSTRALIAN A B C.
Reading edition
A is Australia, the land of their birth. B for Bruce, Bannerman, batsmen of worth. C is young Coningham, more than a learner. D is the Demon, once Spofforth, now Turner. E the Excitement to see them all play, F is the Four on the ground all the way. G is for Graham, the Giffens, and Gregory, H is a Hit that's maybe in the leg or eye. I is the Interest that's caused in the cricket, J is for Jarvis, who sometimes keeps wicket. K is the Kangaroo, bold and defiant, L is Jack Lyons, who hits like a giant. M is McLeod, and was Murdoch of yore, N are the Nets, where they practice before. O their Opponents, delighted to meet them, P for the People, so ready to greet them. Q is the Question, "How's that"—Out or Not? R is that terror of batsmen—a Rot. S their success, making Englishmen humble, T is for Trott, and stands also for Trumble. U is the Umpire, to whom they all shout, V is the Voice, in which he cries "Out!" W the Wickets, our land does not lack 'em, X is their Xcellent keeper—friend Blackham. Y is the Yorker, that's fatal to some, And Z shows the ending has really come.
The Great Ferris Wheel at Chicago Exhibition can "complete a revolution in seven minutes." Valuable this in Paris. No military required.
FRIENDS IN COUNCIL.
Scene—Editor's Sanctum, "The Halfpenny Slater."
Critic. "What a pity Shakspeare's dead! It would be such a Score to pitch into him as an over-rated Old Idiot! It's never been done yet that I know of!"
Editor. "Ah! capital idea! I don't see that his being Dead makes any Odds!"
Critic. "Oh yes—for the Reader! Dead 'uns don't feel, you know, and there's nobody big enough Living now to be worth Powder and Shot, confound it!"
FROM OUR ISLAND SPECIAL.
"I come to Cowes," quoth the German Emperor right merrily, "as the greatest compliment I can pay to John Bull. But where are the Royal carriages and Royal personages to receive me?" Admiral Commerell steered himself along the main roads, and played the part of the look-out man to perfection. "Nothing in the offing," he reported to the Emperor. "I hope," returned His Imperial Majesty, with a smile, "that this sort of thing doesn't offing happen." Everybody in convulsions of laughter, which just filled up the time till the appearance on the scene of the Duke of Connaught on the top of the cabin, in the full uniform of a General of the Horse Marines. "You're too punctual by half a minute," called out the Duke to the Admiral. Then the Admiral piped his eye, and the Royalties lighted cigarettes. "Here are the carriages! step in!" quoth the Duke. "Aha!" cried the Emperor gaily, in his perfect English. "Here is the carriage and the 'oss, so now we shall be borne by the 'oss to Os-borne!" Every one in convulsions, and amid roars of laughter the Duke and the Emperor drove off.
CURIOUS CRICKET ANOMALY.
When a batsman has piled up a hundred, or more, Though five twenties he's hit, he has made but "a score."
JUST SUE!
When a smart cove "sues" a sweet girl, for her hand, Then sueing is soft and as sweet as a peach. But e'en sueing comes bitter, you'll all understand, When he bolts, and she sues him—"for Breach!" A true suitor may suit her, but, faithless, the brute Deserves what he'll get, a complete change of suit!