MY LANDLORD.

Who asked a rent absurdly high; Who never scrupled at a lie? The house well built! The soil so dry! My Landlord. Whose saving schemes cause constant fears The house will fall about my ears? I say it totters, and he sneers. My Landlord. The cellar's flooded when it rains; The ceilings show damp, mouldy stains. Who swindled me about the drains? My Landlord. Who called the house extremely nice? It's simply overrun with mice, The cook has had hysterics twice. My Landlord. Who praised the garden in a way To seem like Eden? I should say The soil is brickbats mixed with clay. My Landlord. Who said each kind of plant succeeds? Yet when I sow the choicest seeds They all develop into weeds. My Landlord. What's this? A note from him—a few Short lines to say the rent is due. Who tells me facts not new, if true? My Landlord.