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Poetry of the Anti-Jacobin

No. XXIV.

Reading edition

April 23, 1798.

THE LOVES OF THE TRIANGLES. A Mathematical and Philosophical Poem.

(Continued.)

CANTO I.

Alas! that partial Science should approve

75

The sly Rectangle’s[218] too licentious love!

For three bright nymphs the wily wizard burns;—

Three bright-eyed nymphs requite his flame by turns.

Strange force of magic skill! combined of yore

With Plato’s science and Menecmus’ lore.[219]

80

In Afric’s school, amid those sultry sands

High on its base where Pompey’s pillar stands,

This learnt the Seer; and learnt, alas! too well,

Each scribbled talisman, and smoky spell:

159What muttered charms, what soul-subduing arts,

85

Fell Zatanai[220] to his sons imparts.

Gins[221]—black and huge! who in Dom-Daniel’s[222] cave

Writhe your scorched limbs on sulphur’s[223] azure wave;

Or, shivering, yell amidst eternal snows,

Where cloud-capp’d Caf[224] protrudes his granite toes;

90

(Bound by his will, Judæa’s fabled king,[225]

Lord of Aladdin’s lamp and mystic ring.)

Gins! ye remember!—for your toil conveyed

Whate’er of drugs the powerful charm could aid;

Air, earth, and sea ye searched, and where below

95

Flame embryo lavas, young volcanoes[226] glow,—

160Gins! ye beheld appall’d th’ enchanter’s hand

Wave in dark air th’ Hypothenusal wand;

Saw him the mystic Circle trace, and wheel

With head erect, and far-extended heel;[227]

100

Saw him, with speed that mocked the dazzled eye,

Self-whirled, in quick gyrations eddying fly:

Till done the potent spell—behold him grown

Fair Venus’ emblem—the Phœnician Cone.[228]

161Triumphs the Seer, and now secure observes

105

The kindling passions of the rival Curves.

And first, the fair Parabola[229] behold,

Her timid arms, with virgin blush, unfold!

Though, on one focus fixed, her eyes betray

A heart that glows with love’s resistless sway;

110

Though, climbing oft, she strives with bolder grace

Round his tall neck to clasp her fond embrace,

Still ere she reach it, from his polished side

Her trembling hands in devious Tangents glide.

Not thus Hyperbola;[230]—with subtlest art

115

The blue-eyed wanton plays her changeful part;

Quick as her conjugated axes move

Through every posture of luxurious love,

Her sportive limbs with easiest grace expand;

Her charms unveiled provoke the lover’s hand;

120

Unveiled, except in many a filmy ray,

Where light Asymptotes[231] o’er her bosom play,

Nor touch her glowing skin, nor intercept the day.

Yet why, Ellipsis,[232] at thy fate repine?

More lasting bliss, securer joys are thine.

125

162Though to each fair his treacherous wish may stray,

Though each, in turn, may seize a transient sway,

’Tis thine with mild coercion to restrain,

Twine round his struggling heart, and bind with endless chain.

Thus, happy France! in thy regenerate land,

130

Where Taste with Rapine saunters hand in hand;

Where, nursed in seats of innocence and bliss,

Reform greets Terror with fraternal kiss;

Where mild Philosophy first taught to scan

The wrongs of Providence, and rights of Man;

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Where Memory broods o’er Freedom’s earlier scene,

The Lantern bright, and brighter Guillotine;

Three gentle swains evolve their longing arms,

And woo the young Republic’s virgin charms;

And though proud Barras with the fair succeed,

140

Though not in vain th’ Attorney Rewbell plead,

Oft doth th’ impartial nymph their love forego,

To clasp thy crooked shoulders, blest Lepaux!

So, with dark dirge athwart the blasted heath,

Three Sister Witches hailed the appalled Macbeth.

145

So, the Three Fates beneath grim Pluto’s roof,

Strain the dun warp, and weave the murky woof;

’Till deadly Atropos with fatal shears

Slits the thin promise of the expected years,

While ’midst the dungeon’s gloom or battle’s din,

150

Ambition’s victims perish, as they spin.

Thus, the Three Graces on the Idalian green

Bow with deft homage to Cythera’s Queen;

163Her polished arms with pearly bracelets deck,

Part her light locks, and bare her ivory neck;

155

Round her fair form ethereal odours throw,

And teach th’ unconscious zephyrs where to blow,

Floats the thin gauze, and glittering as they play,

The bright folds flutter in phlogistic day,.

So, with his daughters Three, th’ unsceptered Lear

160

Heaved the loud sigh, and poured the glistering tear:

His daughters Three, save one alone, conspire

(Rich in his gifts) to spurn their generous sire;

Bid the rude storm his hoary tresses drench,

Stint the spare meal, the hundred knights retrench;

165

Mock his mad sorrow, and with altered mien

Renounce the daughter, and assert the queen.

A father’s griefs his feeble frame convulse,

Rack his white head, and fire his feverous pulse;

Till kind Cordelia soothes his soul to rest,

170

And folds the parent-monarch to her breast.

Thus some fair spinster grieves in wild affright,

Vexed with dull megrim, or vertigo light;

Pleased round the fair, Three dawdling doctors stand,

Wave the white wig, and stretch the asking hand,

175

State the grave doubt, the nauseous draught decree,

And all receive, though none deserve, a fee.

So down thy hill, romantic Ashbourn,[233] glides

The Derby dilly, carrying Three Insides.

164One in each corner sits, and lolls at ease,

180

With folded arms, propt back, and outstretched knees;

While the pressed Bodkin, punched and squeezed to death,

Sweats in the midmost place, and scolds, and pants for breath.[234]

(To be continued.)

Illustration from Poetry of the Anti-Jacobin Comprising the Celebrated Political and Satirical Poems, of the Rt. Hons. G. Canning, John Hookham Frere, W. Pitt, the Marquis Wellesley, G. Ellis, W. Gifford, the Earl of Carlisle, and Others.

165

Notes in this chapter

Note 1 · Ver. 76. Rectangle—“A figure which has one angle, or more, of ninety degrees”. Johnson’s Dictionary.—It here means a right-angled triangle, Note 2 · Ver. 80. Plato’s and Menecmus’ lore—Proclus attributes the discovery of the conic sections to Plato, but obscurely. Eratosthenes seems to adNote 3 · Ver. 86. Zatanai—Supposed to be the same with Satan.—Vide the New Arabian Nights, translated by Cazotte, author of “Le Diable amoureux”.Note 4 · Ver. 87. Gins—the Eastern name for Genii.—Vide Tales of ditto.Note 5 · Ver. 87. Dom-Daniel—a submarine palace near Tunis, where Zatanai usually held his court.—Vide New Arabian Nights.Note 6 · Ver. 88. Sulphur—A substance which, when cold, reflects the yellow rays, and is therefore said to be yellow. When raised to a temperature atNote 7 · Ver. 90. Caf—the Indian Caucasus.—Vide Bailly’s Lettres sur l’Atlantide, in which he proves that this was the native country of Gog and MagoNote 8 · Ver. 91. Judæa’s fabled king—Mr. Higgins does not mean to deny that Solomon was really king of Judæa. The epithet fabled applies to that empNote 9 · Ver. 96. Young volcanoes—The genesis of burning mountains was never, till lately, well explained. Those with which we are best acquainted arNote 10 · Ver. 100. Far-extended heel—The personification of Rectangle, besides answering a poetical purpose, was necessary to illustrate Mr. Higgins’Note 11 · Ver. 104. Phœnician Cone—It was under this shape that Venus was worshipped in Phœnicia. Mr. Higgins thinks it was the Venus Urania, or CelesNote 12 · Ver. 107. Parabola—The curve described by projectiles of all sorts, as bombs, shuttlecocks, &c.Note 13 · Ver. 115. Hyperbola—Not figuratively speaking, as in rhetoric, but mathematically; and therefore blue-eyed.Note 14 · Ver. 122. Asymptotes—“Lines, which though they may approach still nearer together till they are nearer than the least assignable distance, yNote 15 · Ver. 124. Ellipsis—A curve, the revolution of which on its axis produces an ellipsoid, or solid resembling the eggs of birds, particularly tNote 16 · [“Romantic Ashbourn.” The road down Ashbourn Hill winds in front of Ashbourn Hall, then the residence of the Rev. Mr. Leigh, who married a rNote 17 · [Thus sings Dr. Darwin of the Loves of the Plants: “Two brother swains, of Collins’ gentle name, The same their features, and their forms th
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