THE END OF THE HUNTING SEASON
Reading edition
(By Our Own Novice)
Good-bye to the season! E'en gluttons Have had quite enough of the game, And if we returned to our muttons, Our horses are laid up and lame. We hunted straight on through the winter, And never were stopped by the frost, As I know right well from each splinter Of bone that my poor limbs have lost. Good-bye to the season! The "croppers" I got where the fences were tall, And Oh the immaculate "toppers" That always were crushed by my fall. Don't think though that I'm so stout-hearted As e'er to jump hedges or dikes, It's simply that after we've started, My "gee" gallivants as it likes. In vain I put on natty breeches, And tops like Meltonian swell, It ends in the blessed old ditches, I know like the Clubs in Pall Mall. And when from a "gee" that's unruly I fall with a terrible jar, I know that old Jorrocks spoke truly, And hunting's "the image of war." And never for me "Fair Diana" Shall smile as we know that she can, With looks that are sweeter than manna, On many a fortunate man. It adds to the pangs that I suffer, When thrown at a fence in her track, To hear her "Ridiculous duffer!" When jumping slap over my back. I've fractured my ulnar, I'm aching Where over my ribs my horse rolled; Egad! the "Old Berkeley" is making One man feel uncommonly old. Good-bye to the season! I'm shattered And damaged in figure and face; But thankful to find I'm not scattered In pieces all over the place!
HINTS TO BEGINNERS
Good hands will often make the most confirmed refuser jump.
TRULY DELIGHTFUL!
Galloping down the side of a field covered with mole-hills, on a weak-necked horse, with a snaffle bridle, one foot out of your stirrup, and a bit of mud in your eye!
SELF-PRESERVATION
Tomlin (who has been mounted by friend.) "It's all very well to shout 'Loose your reins', but what the deuce am I to hang on to?"
Seasonable Dish for a Sportsman.—A plate o' fox-tail soup.
The Rule of the Hunting-Field.—Lex Tally-ho-nis.
Fashionable Food for Horses.—Hay à la mowed.
QUOTATIONS GONE WRONG
"Life has passed With me but roughly since I heard thee last." Cowper.
ALL HER PLAY
Country Gentleman (to nervous man, whom he has mounted). "By Jove, old chap, never saw the mare so fresh! Take care you ain't off!"
Nervous Man (heartily). "W—w—wish to goodness I were!"
HINTS TO BEGINNERS
Always let your horse see that you are his master.
