"THE FROGS" AT OXFORD.

Scene—Parlour of Private House, Oxford. Time—Quite recently. Cook wishes to speak to her Mistress.

Cook. Please, 'm, I should like to go out this evening, 'm, which it's to see them Frogs at the New Theayter.

Mistress. But it's all Greek, and you won't understand it.

Cook. O yes, 'm. I once saw the Performin' Fleas, and they was French, I believe, leastways a Frenchman were showin' of 'em, and I understood all as was necessary.

[After this, of course she obtains permission.

Domestic Economy.—Cook (to Vicar's Wife). "And what's to be done with the sole that was saved yesterday, ma'am?"

Bucolic Boot-boy. "I say, Sarah, wotever be a creematorium?"

Metropolitan Maid. "Oh, you are an ignorant boy! Why, it's French for a milkshop, of course!"

Mistress (soliloquizing). "I'm afraid this hat's rather out of date."

Maid. "Oh, no, mum. It's quite fashionable. Cook has just bought one exactly like it!"

Domestic. "There's a gentleman wants to see yer on business." Master. "Well, ask him to take a chair." Domestic. "He's taking 'em all, and the table too. He comes from the furniture shop!"

Foreigners are always so very polite.—Charming Hostess. "Do have some of my cake. I don't believe you've ever tasted my own make?" Delightful Foreigner (wishing to be polite). "Indeed—indeed I have, and I assure you I did not wish to eat anything else for days after!"