PREFACE
Reading edition
The reporter of these monologues would apologize for the frequent reappearances of Mr. Dooley, if he felt the old gentleman would appreciate an apology in his behalf. But Mr. Dooley has none of the modesty that has been described as “an invention for protection against envy,” because unlike that one of his distinguished predecessors who discovered this theory to excuse his own imperfect but boastful egotism, he recognizes no such human failing as envy. Most of the papers in the present collection of the sayings of this great and learned man have appeared in the press of America and England. This will account for the fact that they deal with subjects that have pressed hard upon the minds of newspaper readers, statesmen, and tax-payers during the year. To these utterances have been added a number of obiter dicta by the philosopher, which, perhaps, will be found to have the reminiscent flavor that appertains to the observations of all learned judges when they are off the bench.
In some cases the sketches have been remodeled and care has been taken to correct typographical blunders, except where they seemed to improve the text. In this connection the writer must offer his profound gratitude to the industrious typographer, who often makes two jokes grow where only one grew before, and has added generously to the distress of amateur elocutionists.
F. P. D.
CONTENTS
PREFACE
A BOOK REVIEW
AMERICANS ABROAD
SERVANT GIRL PROBLEM
THE TRANSVAAL
WAR AND WAR MAKERS
UNDERESTIMATING THE ENEMY
THE WAR EXPERT
MODERN EXPLOSIVES
THE CHINESE SITUATION
MINISTER WU
THE FUTURE OF CHINA
PLATFORM MAKING
THE YACHT RACES
POLYGAMY
PUBLIC FICKLENESS
KENTUCKY POLITICS
YOUNG ORATORY
PUBLIC GRATITUDE
MARRIAGE AND POLITICS
ALCOHOL AS FOOD
HIGH FINANCE
THE PARIS EXPOSITION
CHRISTIAN JOURNALISM
THE ADMIRAL'S CANDIDACY
CUSTOMS OF KENTUCKY
A SOCIETY SCANDAL
DOINGS OF ANARCHISTS
ANGLO-AMERICAN SPORTS
VOICES FROM THE TOMB
The NEGRO PROBLEM
The AMERICAN STAGE
TROUBLES OF A CANDIDATE
A BACHELOR'S LIFE
THE EDUCATION OF THE YOUNG
“L'AIGLON”
CASUAL OBSERVATIONS