CERTITUDE.
Reading edition
When I hang up the racket, The paddle, and bat, When my red Tam o' Shanter Supplants my straw hat; When the cranberry's ripe and The turkey is fat, Thanksgiving is coming, I'm certain of that!
Walter. "Papa, how do you pronounce W-o-r-c-e-s-t-e-r?"
Papa. "Wooster."
Walter. "Well, if Worcester is pronounced Wooster, why isn't Rochester pronounced Rooster?"