THE BISHOP'S DILEMMA.
Reading edition
The late Bishop of Argyle and the Isles, in Scotland, Dr. Mackarness, was a very large and heavy man, weighing at least 275 pounds.
On one occasion, accompanied by his chaplain, Mr. Chinnery Haldane, he was making his way through the mountains to confirm some children in a far-away village.
The carriage, drawn by strong and agile mountain ponies, slowly ascending through a rocky pass, was suddenly brought to a standstill by a fallen tree. The Highland driver did everything in his power to get by the obstacle, but finally had to go for assistance. The Bishop and his chaplain strolled on.
Now the chaplain wanted to be made a rural dean, and he thought this an excellent opportunity to try the Bishop on the subject. The weather was fine, the view delightful, the Bishop apparently in a good temper. Why not broach this subject so near to his heart? The Bishop heard his request, but instead of answering him, stopped and called attention to the effect of the sun on the distant mountains. Further hints were met in the same way.
The village was now in sight, but an unlooked-for obstacle presented itself. The little stream, crossed usually by a picturesque bridge, had been so swollen by the rains that the bridge appeared like an island in the middle.
Here was a quandary. It might be several hours before the carriage arrived, and night was coming on.
"What are we to do?" said the Bishop.
"My lord," replied the chaplain, "if you will get on my back I will carry you to the bridge."
The Bishop demurred, spoke of his weight, and the undignified appearance he would present. But the chaplain was strong, and finally persuaded him. When fairly in the middle he came to a full stop.
"Are you tired, Haldane?" said the Bishop.
"No, my lord, I am not tired; but I wish to speak to you again about that rural deanery."
"But, my dear fellow," cried the Bishop, in alarm, "this is no place to talk; wait till we get to the other side."
"On the contrary, my lord, I think this is an excellent place to talk, for if you refuse me I shall drop you."
The Bishop tried to temporize; but the chaplain was immovable.
"The rural deanery or down you go," was the fiat, and reluctantly the Bishop gave the chaplain his promise.
His kept his promise, too, and after the death of Dr. Mackarness that same chaplain and rural dean became his successor, and is now Bishop of Argyle and the Isles.