A Leaf from Punch.

FACTS AND COMMENTS.

BY MR. PUNCH.

THERE has lately been started a new steam-boat, with the odd title of the Emmet. It certainly is the very worst name for a sea-going craft, since no one will go on board the Emmet without thinking of an Emetic.... There was a thorough specimen of American Independence exhibited at the Botanical Gardens by the celebrated American plants, which were advertised to appear in full bloom, at least three weeks earlier than they condescended to show themselves. Every one was asking how it was that the American plants did not show themselves, according to promise. But they obstinately remained shut up in their buds, as if when looked for to blossom, their reply had been, "If I do, I'm blowed." ... The French Republic is always represented as wearing the Cap of Liberty. A fitter head-dress would be a mob-cap.... If you wish to hear all your faults fully canvassed, have your portrait taken, and invite your friends to come and keep you company.... I hate parrots, parroquets, and cockatoos. They are odious creatures (screechers)!... The Dictionary puts down make and construct as synonymous. They do not, however, mean precisely the same, for an omnibus, which is constructed to hold twelve persons, is made to hold fourteen, and sometimes more, especially on wet nights.... The new process of cooking by gas is a splendid triumph of gas-tronomy.... The reason why lightning turns milk and beer sour, probably is, that the electric fluid does not know how to conduct itself any better.... Philosophers have often tried to explain why a cat runs after a mouse; the reason undoubtedly is, because the mouse runs away from the cat.

COMPARATIVE LOVE.

Papa.—"So, Charley, you really are in love with the little black-eyed Girl you met last night?"

Charley.—"Yes, Papa, I love her dearly!"

Papa.—"How much do you love her, Charley? Do you love her as much as Pudding?"

Charley.—"O yes, Papa! and a great deal better than Pudding. But—(pausing to reflect)—I do not love her—so much as—Jelly!"

Wife of his Bosom.—"Upon my word, Mr. Peewitt! Is This the Way You Fill Up Your Census Paper? So you call Yourself the 'Head of the Family'—do You—and me a 'Female?'"

First Frenchman.—"Mon Dieu, Alphonse! Look there! What do you call that Machine?"

Second Frenchman.—"I see! it's a very droll affair, but I don't know what it is."