THE SOURCE OF NEWS From The Needle

ABSOLUTE knowledge I have none, But my aunt’s washerwoman’s son Heard a policeman on his beat Say to a laborer in the street That he had a letter just last week, Written in the finest Greek, From a Chinese coolie in Timbuctoo, Who said the niggers in Cuba knew Of a colored man in a Texas town Who got it straight from a circus clown, That a man in Klondike heard the news From a gang of South American Jews, About somebody in Bamboo Who heard a man who claimed he knew Of a swell society female rake Whose mother-in-law will undertake To prove that her husband’s sister’s niece Has stated in a printed piece That she has a son who has a friend Who knows when the war is going to end.