Volume 2 — Our Rural Mail Box
Reading edition
Petie L. Arsony—The reason why they feed convicts coarse food is to keep their blood pure, so that they won’t “break out.”
* * *
Johnnie L.—A divorce suit should always be cleaned before being pressed.
* * *
Sweet Sixteen—You’re wrong. Woman is known not by the company she keeps, but by the company she does not keep. You did right in not keeping Johnnie’s company.
* * *
B. Good Tome—No, B, all chickens do not use fowl language, but I have met several who could swear quite fluently.
* * *
The Vanguard
’Tis weary watching wave by wave, But still the tide sweeps onward; We build like corals, grave by grave But pave a path that’s sunward. We’re beaten back in many a fray, But newer strength we borrow; And where the vanguard camps to-day, The rear shall camp tomorrow.
* * *
Ghouls, Take Note
(From San Francisco Chronicle.)
Wanted—Second hand Coffin or couch casket. Box 4050 Chronicle.
* * *
Drexerd Pulls This One
He—Let’s go to the dance tonight.
She—Why do you like to dance so much?
He—Oh, for many reasons—I can put my arm around you, draw you up close, feel your soft cheek against mine, and—
She—That will do! Let’s stay at home and make believe we went to the dance.
* * *
Jes’ a Jester Jest
Some people say: “Get thee behind me, Satan and push me along.”
* * *
What Ho?
First Lunch Hound—“Well, old strawberry, howsa boy? I just had a plate of oxtail soup and feel bully.”
Second Counter Fiend—“Nothing to it, old watermelon. I just had a plate of hash and feel like everything.”
* * *
He knew that she would thank him not, He cared not for her scorn; He offered her his street car seat, To keep her off his corn.
* * *
Our Harnessed Bulls
First Cop—Say, did you get that fellow’s number?
Second Cop—No, he was going too fast.
Say, but wasn’t that a fine looking dame in the back seat?
Yep, wasn’t she though!