Volume 2 — Pasture Pot Pourri

A baldheaded man likes to tell about the hair-breadth escapes he’s had.

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A shortened skirt maketh many a flirt.

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If ignorance is bliss—then why be otherwise?

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In the race “Back to Nature,” the Bathing Suit is a close second. The Evening Gown leading by a fraction of an inch.

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Flattery is like cologne; to be smelled but not swallowed.

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When you’re down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.

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It’s the little things that worry us. We can dodge an elephant, but not a flea.

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Variety is the spice of—Salt Lake City.

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All the world loves a lover, except hubby.

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As Kipling Remarks

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Resurrected

“A little bit goes a long ways,” said the goose, as she pushed the pebble over the precipice. “That remains to be seen,” said the pup as he wagged his tail and walked away.

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A Clean Joke, Let’s Hope

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Oh, frivolity, thy name is woman.

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What was the cause of that scar you have on your head?

A woman told me that her husband was in St. Louis.

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“This hotel is a book of life,” chortled the blonde and boastful desk clerk, “with me the hero thrilling its pages, and you poor bell hops—merely the pages.”

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Sign In Basement Window

Coffee and a roll downstairs, 10 cents.

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My Evening Prayer

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Harrowed husband to barber: Please don’t use that sweet smelling soap on my face.

Barber: Why not, sir; it has a delicate lasting scent.

Harrowed husband: That’s just it; my wife won’t believe it.

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Don’t swell up when someone takes you for a ride. You might be used as ballast.

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A skinny girl in an evening dress, shows more backbone than a man.

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You can string beans and kid gloves, but you can’t bull frogs.

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Help! Help!

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“There goes a man who can’t bear children.”

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Mother Goose Revamped

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First we abolish what we consider an evil, opines the Town Tankard, and afterward secretly embrace it.

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Mary’s Little (?) Lamb

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No, Dia, Anna Lyzer is not a twin sister of Para Lyzer.

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We are surely tickled to death that Good Friday does not fall on Easter Sunday.

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Notice!

Miss Featrice Bairfax who conducts the lovelorn department of this great military journal of uplift, will advise you on your matrimonial and love affairs. Write to her freely; she has been in France long enough not to be shocked.

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——What’ll it be, Gents, a lollypop or a nut sundae?

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Try This On Your Hic-trola

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Our Monthly Maxim

Late in bed, early to rise, makes dark rings beneath the eyes.

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Now that Luther Reed has written a villainless play, the husband must be guilty of a bum cellar or something like that.

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A New Version

Here’s to the short skirt and the street car steps. May they never meet.

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The old fashioned woman who used to take her troubles to the Lord, has a daughter who now takes them to a lawyer.

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If at first some men don’t succeed they fail, and fail again.

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A fat man has another advantage over his thin brethren—he knows exactly where his cigar ashes are going to land.

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Moonology

The wife of a man named Moon presented him with a fine boy. This was a new moon. The father celebrated the event by drinking himself full of hootch. This was a full moon. When he awoke from his stupor all he had left in his pocket was twenty-five cents. This was the last quarter. His mother-in-law took this and rapped him over the head with a club. This was the total eclipse.

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Impossible

It can’t be done.

What?

Shave the hair off a gnat’s back with a monkey wrench.

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Sunburned

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Ah Ha! Ah!

He—I suppose it would be quite improper for me to kiss you on such a short acquaintance.

She—Yes, but it’s quite early in the evening yet.