PREFACE

As good form requires that an author mention in his preface the persons to whom he is chiefly indebted, I take this opportunity of stating that during the preparation of this book I became appreciably indebted to Dr. Warren S. Holder, my dentist, Mr. William Vroom, my tailor, Mr. M. Tesshow, my stationer and tobacconist, and Messrs. Acker, Merrall & Condit, my grocers.

Although these gentlemen neither "corrected the proofs" of my book nor "saw it through the press," nor allowed me access to rare documents and family letters, nor treated me to intimate accounts of their fathers and great uncles as they knew them; though they did none of these customary things, nevertheless I became decidedly their debtor—and still am.

Indeed, without their stimulus this book might never have been written.

L. M.

What-Nots

PAGE

Unsolicited Personal Adornments 15

Shelf Culture21

Portable Pigeonholes28

Simile33

The Beatified Race35

Jouez Balle41

The Art of Packing45

Agriculture Indoors52

Snowy Bosoms59

Interior Desperation62

The Writing on the Screen68

Musique Glacée72

The Care of the Husband76

Terminology of Tardiness81

Oppressors of the Meek83

Putting Pedagogy Across90

Coaching From the Side-lines95

Fast and Loose 99

The Primrose_Pathology103

Fightier_Than_the_Sword106

Enlightenment112

Holiday Misgivings116

All, All Are Gone, The Old Familiar Façades121

My Museum124

On Chairs--And Off129