Act 5 — SCENE V.

Mis. Sea. Much joy to you, sir; you have made quick despatch. I like a man that can love, woo, and wed, All in an hour. My husband was so long A-getting me; so many friends' consents Were to be ask'd, that when we came to church, 'Twas not a marriage, but our times were out, And we were there made free of one another. Mis. Hol. I look'd to find you abed and a young sheriff Begot by this. My husband, when I came From church, by this time had his caudle: I Had not a garter left, nor he a point. Mis. Scr. Surely, all that my husband did the first Night we were married, was to call for one Of his wrought caps more to allay his rheum. Mis. Hol. We hear y' have match'd a courtier, sir: a gallant: One that can spring fire in your blood, and dart Fresh flames into you. Mis. Sea. Sir, you are not merry: Methinks you do not look as you were married. Mis. Hol. You rather look as you had lost your love. Mis. Scr. Or else, as if your spouse, sir, had rebuk'd you. Sea. How is it, sir? You see I have brought along My fiddlers with me; my wife and Mistress Holland Are good wind-instruments. 'Tis enough for me To put on sadness. Ware. You, sir, have no cause. Sea. Not I! Ask Mistress Scruple. I have lost My daughter, sir: she's stol'n. Then, sir, I have A spendthrift to my son. Ware. These are felicities Compar'd to me. You have not match'd a whore, sir, Nor lost two ships at sea. Sea. Nor you, I hope? Ware. Truth is, you are my friends; I am abus'd, Grossly fetch'd over. I have match'd a stew, The notedst woman o' th' town. Mis. Sea. Indeed, I heard She was a chambermaid. Mis. Hol. And they by their place Do wait upon the lady, but belong Unto the lord. Sea. But is this true? Ware. Here was My nephew just now, and one Roseclap, who tell me She has three children living; one dapple-grey, Half Moor, half English: knows as many men As she that sinned by th' calendar, and divided The nights o' th' year with several men. Sea. Bless me, goodness! Ware. Then, like a man condemned to all misfortunes, I have estated her in all I have. Sea. How! Ware. Under hand and seal, sir, irrecoverably.